5 Ways to Remember Mom on Mother’s Day

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Mother's Day can be an emotional holiday for those who have lost their mothers. When dealing with a recent loss, the pervasive messages of Mother's Day can be a bit overwhelming. If more time has passed, Mother's Day may inspire you to do something special to honor the memory of the woman who will always remain in your heart.

Regardless of the amount of time that has passed, there are several ways that you can remember Mom this Mother's day.

Ideas for Honoring Mom's Memory

  1. Buy a Card
    It's hard to escape Mother's Day cards for sale in the month of May. If the greeting card display makes you feel emotional, consider buying one that captures your feelings or describes your relationship with your mother. Thoughtful, serious or funny, the card you choose can help put your emotions and thoughts into words. Tap into those memories and write a note in the card. You can bring the card to your mother's gravesite or keep it in a special place at home.
  2. Set a Place
    On Mother's Day, set an extra place at the dinner table for Mom. You might include your mother's photograph at the place setting as well. Keeping her seat at the table can help you feel as though she's still included in the family meal. Along with this idea, each family member can share a special memory of Mom or Grandma before beginning to eat. Preparing your mother's favorite dish or a special recipe she taught you is another way to embrace happy memories, rather than focusing on her absence.
  3. Bring Flowers
    Bringing flowers to your mother's gravesite is a lovely way to pay tribute to her. While so many others are rushing about to buy last-minute gifts, cook meals or make visits to parents and in-laws, take the time to visit your mother's gravesite for some moments of quiet reflection. A fresh arrangement of her favorite flowers can add some color and a touch of spring. If Mom's gravesite is some distance away, ask a nearby family member or friend or the cemetery about placing a floral arrangement for you. Most Dignity Memorial providers have relationships with local florists to make ordering flowers easy.
  4. Visit Another Mother
    Mother's Day can feel lonely if you can't visit or call your own mother. Consider visiting a senior in a nursing home or senior center who might not otherwise have any visitors on Mother's Day. If appropriate and permitted by the facility, younger children can also enjoy the visit. Instead of feeling alone with your memories on this holiday, use the day to bring joy to another mother.
  5. Donate Your Time
    They say charity begins at home, and many moms leave a legacy of giving. Keep her legacy alive by volunteering with a meaningful local organization on Mother's Day. Serving meals at a local food pantry, planting new flowers or vegetables at a community garden or reading to children through a hospital program are examples of volunteer opportunities that might reflect your mother's interests and allow you to spend an otherwise tough day in service to others.

Missing Mom on Mother's Day is natural. However you decide to spend the day, experts agree that it's most important for you to listen to your heart and allow yourself to do as much or as little as you are able. Giving yourself permission to grieve for and honor your mother in whatever way you need is essential for coping with a parent's death.

Molly Gligor leads the Houston area network of Dignity Memorial® funeral, cremation and cemetery providers. As a licensed funeral director for the past 20 years, she has assisted thousands of families during difficult times, helping them celebrate the significance of lives that have been lived and preserving memories with dignity and honor.

Dignity Memorial

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4 Comments

I am glad you touched on this topic. This year my family is gathering with other family members and friends on Mother's Day. We knew the friends' parents and they knew ours and we've liked each other for almost 70 years. It is a way of extending the friendship my parents had with our friends' parents through the children.
One year we all brought jello dishes for Mothers Day because my mom always made jello for family gatherings. Some were very creatively done and it added some levity. My mom would have loved it.
I am so deeply aware of the effect of my mom's love for me and how that enables me to love others and am so thankful I was raised with such care.
Both my sister and I do not hesitate to help others outside the family with their needs as their health conditions change--driving them to appointments, seeing to their care. I think our mom taught us well! When we do this, it is another way of honoring her memory.
Our dear mother who passed away five years ago told us never to worry about Mother's Day since we treated her as though every day was Mother's Day. It may help to regard the whole thing as a commercial holiday rather than a significant event to celebrate. I hope I'm not sounding hard hearted here.
Not particularly on Mother's Day, but my 93 year old spouse fixates on his mother's birthday every year, commenting on how old she would be, etc. He now has dementia, but it has not interfered with this fixation even though he does get confused about what day/date it currently is. I do remember when it is my Mother's birthday, but do not particularly dwell on it.