Life with Two Different Husbands


I have been a caregiver for my husband with Alzheimer’s and Frontal Lobe Dementia for six years, although he clearly had issues many years before diagnosis.

I feel as if I am living with two men.

“Bob” the build anything, fix anything man. He worked for Montgomery Ward’s remodeling stores all over the United States. After that, he managed a hardware store.

Then I have “Al” the meek and gentle-spirited man that has developed a passion for singing, is confused about life and lives only in the present moment.

I try hard to keep my emotions and devastation in check.

How do I hold on to the memory of Bob when I see “Al” taking over? How do I deal with the sense of abandonment I feel, the loneliness, the isolation? I ask myself these questions every day.

I imagine that I am not alone in this state of “Alzheimer's madness.”

You may just have an “Al” in your world too. I did not ask for this journey, and I am sure you did not either. I invite you to take this journey with me. We are in this together, you and I—and Bob and “Al,” of course.

Sheri works fulltime as a Property Manager and caregiver for Robert, her husband of 25 years, who was diagnosed in 2008 with both Frontal Lobe Dementia and Alzheimer’s. On a journey she never thought she would find herself on, Sheri has been blogging about the way Alzheimer’s has invaded her family’s life since 2009.

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My husband, Michael, suffers from alcohol-related dementia -- Korsakoff's Psychosis -- which was initially thought to be the beginnings of Alzheimer's. Unfortunately, though, his alter-ego is an "evil twin," extremely difficult to live with and to love. I take a lot of walks to clear my mind and adjust my attitude ...
My MIL noticed her son turning into a grumpy old man. She turned to me and said "God only changes their faces". Now I know what she meant.
I too, live with two different men. The man I married was Chuck, the nickname his buddies in Viet Nam gave him to distinguish him from the enemy. The man I now live with is Charlie - the name his parents called him as a youngster. Chuck is gone - only Charlie, the child, remains. But we love them both don't we?