What should I do when my elderly mom refuses to go to the doctor?


Q:What should I do when my elderly mom refuses to go to the doctor?

A: It happens often and is horribly frustrating. You can't physically get them in the car to go. I wish I had a magic answer, but I don't. Preparing ahead is wise.

If that doesn't work, lying helps sometimes, depending on their mentality. If it's dementia and they forget easily, getting them in the car for something "fun", and then dropping by the doc's office first, may work. It also may not. It's trial and error.

Elder care author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack is an AgingCare.com contributing editor and moderator of the AgingCare.com online caregiver support forums . Read her full biography

Carol Bradley Bursack

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Over the span of two decades, author, columnist, consultant and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Her experiences inspired her to pen, "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories," a portable support group book for caregivers.

Minding Our Elders

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I have learned not to tell her ahead of time and then day of the appt. I tell her the doc office called and got a last minute cancellation and can see us and I told them ok and if we don't go, they are going to have to charge us for the visit...works almost everytime.