Hi, here are 2 different approaches that worked for me with mom (85) and dad (86). Mom is at the stage where she wants anything that is not hers, i.e., clothes, perfume, jewelry, food, etc... She is pretty stealthy and I constantly find things either stashed in her room or see her wearing them. When she's caught red-handed, she insists the things belong to her and pitches a fit if you try to take them away, so much so that I have to turn away or leave the room so I don't break into uncontrollable giggles, she's just like a 2 year old saying "Mine!" She rarely does what she's asked to do and almost always does what she's not supposed to do. I solved the diaper problem by bringing them home and telling her they were for me and to please not take them for herself. Within 15 minutes, she had "snuck" into my room and taken them and has been wearing them ever since. She even helps pick out the ones she likes when we shop now. It's a win-win! She thinks she pulled one over on me and I'm not doing 4 loads of laundry a day anymore, lol. Dad's a lot sharper, so I appealed to his intellect, I took him to his Primary Care Physician, explained the situation and asked him to educate Dad on the very real danger of infections (UTI's, open sores, rashes, etc..), that occur frequently with incontinence. He also showed him some statistics on Senior Mortality Rates, deaths due to untreated or severe UTI's, which sadly are fairly common with incontinence. Once Dad realized the health risks, he reluctantly agreed. {You might also try asking your PCP to write a "prescription" for the diapers, sometimes seniors will listen to their doctor's advice even if they find it disagreeable.} The first month was tough, but there have been no problems with Dad since then. It might help if you bought small quantities of several different styles and brands and let your folks try them out. Believe it or not, there are many fit, comfort and quality differences in adult diapers. If you can find one that is comfortable for them and fits right, you'll have less resistance. Good luck and God Bless!

When I was Primary Caregiver for my MIL, she didn't want to either.
Before I was PC to MIL, my DPOA SIL convinced her somehow to wear them. It was being put in the assisted living facility (ALF) and she had to have them. When she was living here, she expressed to me that she didn't want to wear DEPENDS any longer. She wanted her regular underwear. I told her that she was having too many accidents and couldn't get to the br fast enough. I then said, "You don't want to have that all over, do you?" Her answer was, "No." ...and she reluctantly kept wearing them. As her Alzheimer's Disease (AD) progressed, she would have heavier bouts of pee. Sometimes, all over the sheets, etc. We finally had DEPENDS Super Plus during the daytime and for night, we would have her wear TRANQUILITY (they're pull-up disposable underwear that holds 1 qt. of liquid). Some of the things that she didn't want to do (and really had no choice), we had to call the dr. about the situation and ask her advice. Before we called the dr., I would call the elderly day care center that she attended and ask the nurse or director. ...but I was careful not to mention anything about the situation in question in front of my MIL. She still has good hearing and despite what others think, I think she remembers...maybe not right away, but I'm sure it gets put in the back of her head. ...but for things, as I started to say, that she REFUSED to do--sometimes, I would have to resort to the doctor. Usually got the girl who helped her. ...but since they see other elderly patients, I figured they'd have an idea. Good luck! ((((((HUGS))))))!

That's a tough one. I think they go into denial. It must be really hard for your father to deal with it. My Dad is not accepting it at all saying he doesn't have alzheimer's, I'm the one with the problem. I wish I had the answers to help, I can't even help my own Dad, he is so angry at me, for trying to help. Good luck to you okcfire. Big guys don't like to open up or cry. Hopefully things go better, let us know how you are.

Thanks a lot we will try that and another thing I got dad to go to a support group and he did like it but when it came to the next month meeting he said there was no need to go because it would not help her that is mom and I tried to tell him that it was for him not her but he just keep saying there was no use because it would help her the first one he went to was all about the stages of alzheimer but second one was wear they could talk about it and tell how they felt Dad was a firefighter for 27 years and I knowthat they learn over the years with all they see and do to keep things that hurt inside of them or to thir self so if anyone knowes a better way to get him help ? Plesae tell me THANKS AGAIN

I would just buy a couple packages and put one in the bathroom, and one in the bedroom. This seemed to work for my Dad, and he started to use them. He needs to change more frequently, and wash more frequently, but he does use them, for now, anyway. Everyone reacts differently though, hope you have better luck.

Dad Needs Help With Mom AND I Need Help TO Help Him Mom has Alzheimer"s And she is at the stage wear she is not makeing it to the bathroom in time not all the time but enough that it is getting to dad they are both 81 years old and have been together for 60 years. anywayshe needs to start wearing depends or something like that but she says that she is not a baby and that we are just saying this and there is nothing wrong with her and that never happned Is there away to get her to do this I say just take away all her under pants and put something in place of them and tell her she has been wearing them for a while but dad said she would just get mad at him and this is true so please someone help us we dont know what to do or wear to go for help on this