My 97 y.o. mom and I went together on an almost month-long overseas vacation in April / May of this year. There were a few difficult moments, but the good far outweighed the bad.
We took a 14-day transatlantic cruise. I had printed maps of our trip ahead of time and would show them to Mom several times a day each day, as she'd forget where we were, where we were going. But she enjoyed the traveling. She enjoyed the dressing up and was happy when I'd wheel her out on the floors and window shop the various stores, stop for a Manhattan during happy hour in a bar with music and visit with the bartender who loved Mom and would take time out to sit with us and talk to her and me. Then head on to dinner and enjoy eating and visiting with our tablemate, and then sometimes a show, but if she was exhausted, it would be back to the room for bedroom routine and sleep. Muttering in her sleep for an hour or so, while I played her ocean/beach music to fall asleep, and tried to tune that out while I'd watch a movie.
At the ports, we would do a bit of sightseeing and take pictures. And chat, have fun.
After that cruise, we boarded another and saw the Adriatic, stopping and visiting Corfu, Greece where we tasted some local cuisine and spoke with and enjoyed company with locals, and Kotor, Montenegro... what a beautiful outing and time we had. We made our way to Venice and flew to Dublin, Ireland, a short 2 1/2 hour flight. People showed kindness and helped us all along the way of the cruises, to the airport, and to boarding the plane. And again when we landed in Dublin and all the way to the hotel.
That first afternoon, we rested in our hotel room, ordered food in and watched some tv. The next 2 days it rained, so again we laid low and talked and stayed in. But the 3rd and last day, no rain, just very chilly and very windy! So we bundled up and I pushed Mom all around our little part of Dublin, and saw The Long Room, a wonderfully special old library at Trinity College, and St. Patrick's Cathedral and a stop at one of the Butler's Chocolate Cafe for a cup of hot chocolate and dessert.
We chose Dublin because it was a short flight there and a shorter flight crossing the Atlantic, all to make it easier for Mom. Cruising is / was easy, but flying is not. We also chose Dublin because it was Ireland, and Mom's heritage was Irish and I wanted her to see and feel some real Irish.
We made our way back home through Toronto, long, long 6 hour flight, in which Mom started acting up, and I was so worried she'd make a scene and be difficult. But although it wasn't easy, it was ok. Toronto? Another story... it was awful, no help at all, starting with waiting for assistance to deplane, to the next flight home. That flight, luckily, was only 2 1/2 hours, but the crew of that Air Canada flight, I wouldn't recommend at all. It took awhile to get help to deplane, and they looked on in disdain, that they had to wait for us to be off the plane.
But we were picked up by my daughter and "son" and brought home happy and safely! It's harder and harder to remember the difficult parts of the trip, and enjoy remembering all the good and happy times we had, as evidenced through a multitude of pictures.
We had planned this trip for 3 years, had hoped to take it in 2020 when Mom was 95 and in much better health. And as her health had declined so much in the last 6 months, I knew it was "now or never". So, with a lot of planning, we had a wonderful time. Mom was exhausted during parts of our vacation, but she would have been exhausted at home as well. So we rested when she was tired, and had fun other times.
Mom's illnesses caught up with her and after hospitalization she went into Hospice and passed away 3 weeks ago. It has not always been easy over the years she came to live with me, but all of the good times outweigh the bad, by far. And I am so very grateful for all the time we had together. And so happy we had this last vacation together.
All of this sounds lovely, but when your loved one lives wjth you and you really don't have anyone to back you up it's not practicable. Called several NH for respite care and they refused.
I am on vacation out of the country and was very concerned about leaving my husband while I was gone for eight days. Because I visit him every day I made arrangement for our local friends and family to visit him. I usually bring him treats (fruits, candy, coffee and odd snacks). I also left him a little gift bag and card for each day while I was gone with simple things like theater candy, nuts, a little stuffed animal for each day I was gone and it gives hm something to look forward to. When the bags are gone, I'll be back! I have also had the opportunity to talk to him every day and even FaceTimed with him once!
Last year I took a cruise for 5 days. Felt very anxious and nervous about leaving my alz. husband. We have never been apart in over 37 years. Always went on vacation together but I realized this was no longer feasible for me to get some rest. I had his niece come in from Canada to stay with him. I arranged for caregiver to come everyday to get him ready for day care and at night to get him ready for bed. Also hired an overnight person 12midnight to 7:00AM so niece could have a good night rest. She cared for him very well but when I came back she said "I don't know how you do this and work full time, I'm exhausted." The cruise was expensive and paying everyone to help was a lot but well worth it. I had wi fi on ship so was able to communicate with her throughout the cruise. She said he definitely missed me but they managed to handle him. I took me about a week to get him back to the level I had him where he was cooperative and not as confused. I think he felt I had abandoned him. Looking forward for another cruise but still feeling anxious about it. I know I need the rest but can't get away from that feeling.
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We took a 14-day transatlantic cruise. I had printed maps of our trip ahead of time and would show them to Mom several times a day each day, as she'd forget where we were, where we were going. But she enjoyed the traveling. She enjoyed the dressing up and was happy when I'd wheel her out on the floors and window shop the various stores, stop for a Manhattan during happy hour in a bar with music and visit with the bartender who loved Mom and would take time out to sit with us and talk to her and me. Then head on to dinner and enjoy eating and visiting with our tablemate, and then sometimes a show, but if she was exhausted, it would be back to the room for bedroom routine and sleep. Muttering in her sleep for an hour or so, while I played her ocean/beach music to fall asleep, and tried to tune that out while I'd watch a movie.
At the ports, we would do a bit of sightseeing and take pictures. And chat, have fun.
After that cruise, we boarded another and saw the Adriatic, stopping and visiting Corfu, Greece where we tasted some local cuisine and spoke with and enjoyed company with locals, and Kotor, Montenegro... what a beautiful outing and time we had. We made our way to Venice and flew to Dublin, Ireland, a short 2 1/2 hour flight. People showed kindness and helped us all along the way of the cruises, to the airport, and to boarding the plane. And again when we landed in Dublin and all the way to the hotel.
That first afternoon, we rested in our hotel room, ordered food in and watched some tv. The next 2 days it rained, so again we laid low and talked and stayed in. But the 3rd and last day, no rain, just very chilly and very windy! So we bundled up and I pushed Mom all around our little part of Dublin, and saw The Long Room, a wonderfully special old library at Trinity College, and St. Patrick's Cathedral and a stop at one of the Butler's Chocolate Cafe for a cup of hot chocolate and dessert.
We chose Dublin because it was a short flight there and a shorter flight crossing the Atlantic, all to make it easier for Mom. Cruising is / was easy, but flying is not.
We also chose Dublin because it was Ireland, and Mom's heritage was Irish and I wanted her to see and feel some real Irish.
We made our way back home through Toronto, long, long 6 hour flight, in which Mom started acting up, and I was so worried she'd make a scene and be difficult. But although it wasn't easy, it was ok. Toronto? Another story... it was awful, no help at all, starting with waiting for assistance to deplane, to the next flight home.
That flight, luckily, was only 2 1/2 hours, but the crew of that Air Canada flight, I wouldn't recommend at all. It took awhile to get help to deplane, and they looked on in disdain, that they had to wait for us to be off the plane.
But we were picked up by my daughter and "son" and brought home happy and safely! It's harder and harder to remember the difficult parts of the trip, and enjoy remembering all the good and happy times we had, as evidenced through a multitude of pictures.
We had planned this trip for 3 years, had hoped to take it in 2020 when Mom was 95 and in much better health. And as her health had declined so much in the last 6 months, I knew it was "now or never". So, with a lot of planning, we had a wonderful time. Mom was exhausted during parts of our vacation, but she would have been exhausted at home as well. So we rested when she was tired, and had fun other times.
Mom's illnesses caught up with her and after hospitalization she went into Hospice and passed away 3 weeks ago. It has not always been easy over the years she came to live with me, but all of the good times outweigh the bad, by far. And I am so very grateful for all the time we had together. And so happy we had this last vacation together.