With us it's my mum-in-love ~ your solution has become mine as well, and I'm thankful for the moments of clarity she still has, for the times she recognizes the littles and the not so little grandkids, that she knows where she is (living with us but with her own little bedsitter) and sleeps well at night knowing we're here, that she is content and happy and is who she is in the moment, each moment, though she may not remember it a few moments later. There may come a time when she loses those things, as well ~ and we'll remember them for her as the gifts they truly are.

Thank you for sharing your story. I have had to face the same situation with a dear friend I was caring for. God rest her.
Now my sister is caring for a loved one who has Dimentia and Alzheimer's. The stage is unknown, and she does not have an existing medical condition. I inttoduced her to this site/forum for insight from others. It has been very helpful to me. Afterall, everyone will encounter this phase of life, from both sides. (God speed J9 aka jerk 😉💜) my sister has what it takes.

I believe that white lies is what saves the care taker from possible arguments due to the dementia patients not understanding. it eases their minds when a white lie is told to calm them down or to ease their tensions they have over a situation that is on their mind. I told my mom and dad many a white lie, and I could hear the tension leaving their minds over the so called problem. white lies do not hurt them it helps them to handle something that is bothering them and they don't know how to handle it. In the years of watching and caring for my parents I avoided many an argument with just one little white lie. my husband has cancer and parkinsons. he still has a mind that works but let me tell you I wouldn't think twice to calm him by telling him a white lie or two if needed. I think we all do it at one time or another.....

Love this article! My mum also has dementia - although I am uncertain what "stage" she is in or what "form" she has. She and my dad live about two hours away and at 91 years (soon turning 92) they are still on their own. It's mainly my mum's short-term memory that can be an issue, and I have learned how to answer the same questions over and over, with patience, and also how to say the right things when she is frustrated, to help lift her mood. For now, she knows all her kids' names, their spouses, grandkids, etc., including our cat's name. I feel fortunate to still have my parents with me, even though it's sad sometimes to know that our walks down memory lane are fraught with "I don't remember that."

Julie
Osoyoos, BC, Canada