So far, my best strategy is to muster up the patience to be silent and wait for him to initiate a topic.

I am the full time caretaker of my 83yr old high school friend. We rode the school bus together. He often forgets to put his hearing aides in - instead of raising my voice i instead point to my ears. I also bring him his am and pm meds - just like a nurse would do I stand there until he has taken them. In the am I also bring him his cup of coffee - but I insist he take his meds first. When he asks me the same question over and over and I have answered him twice - I found that it I leave the room - give him a smile and raise my finger meaning I will be right back. Of course he has forgotten the question when I do return. There are days he doesn't want to eat - on those days we have a rule - if you don't want to eat you have to have a bottle of ensure. I bring that to him instead of us having a discussion about it. Some pleasant conversation and a little hug stops it from turning into a situation where he digs his heels in. So I guess I distract him as you would with an infant who has picked up something that would be dangerous to them - I trade by distracting him.
Of course all of this is difficult for the caretaker but it works for me.

I don't get so see my mother as often as I'd like to cuz my husband needs to be in Dallas for cancer treatment and my mother is in Austin where 2 of 3 daughters live. She's visited often by my oldest and my grandchildren. Her grandaughter takes her to lunch often and puts her Grandmas credit card in her wallet when she's not looking. When it's time to leave..grandma whips out her credit card and pays for the meal. My daughter then removes it later when grandma isn't looking. It's a simple thing, but it gives grandma a feeling of contributing in the way she used to. Until she can't any more, we try to include her in many family things. Nobody in the family "notices" her occasional faux pas and often supply her with the "what's that thing again". We trust each other to "go along" with wherever she is at any given time when she's with us. We know it will get worse, but for now, anything she wants to do is pretty much ok. We're all in it together.

Im73 and my mother is 93. Her biggest "thing" is she can't remember her husband is dead. She "sees" him at times, and she's constantly trying to get me to call him and send him to come and get her and take her home again. She pack up ready to go home again, but we sold her house to help pay for her care. I just keep telling her.... Mom, sometimes change is hard.. nothing is the same for ANY of us any more..we ALL have to put up with change and we can't go backwards...only forward. She seems to accept her lot as long as I have to do it too. It's a little hard on me. I'm still active and cogent and don't look MY age. Sometimes I think she wants us to die together so she won't go alone. It's hard for older children to talk like the kids and grandkids do, but we do get to philosophize at times and my mom seems to "get" it. Of course we can't go backwards...only forward. Pragmatic, logical people have a harder time communicating with their Alzheimer's parents. We DO have our art in common and I can get her off trying to go home by telling her we "need" her art that only she can do so well. She's forgotten so much, but when she has her brushes in her hands she knows EXACTLY what to do with them!

I thought that the 5 dementia tips from a grandson were exceptionally good. It's amazing what children can teach you. I've never been a very patient person, often times I would rather remove myself from a situation rather than deal with the stress it could cause. However, when it comes to my mom I cannot do this, therefore I have to remember the various tips that I have learned in order to cope.
Thanks so much for sharing.

I enjoyed this very much. I brought me back a few years ago when I was going through this with my mom. I learned to visit her where she was (in her world), not try to bring her back to ours. She would call my son's fiance "the girl" (she couldn't remember her name) so I also referred to her in mom's presence "the girl". I liked how you mentioned to speak to someone with dementia and use phrases they use - it makes perfect sense. I also learned pretty fast what aggravated my mom, so I tried not to add to it. I'm glad other people offer ideas and share their thoughts here because I can't imagine what the people suffering from dementia go through, and I didn't have this site when my mom was suffering from this dreaded disease. If I had, it would have been nice to have other's support when going through the same thing. Thanks again for sharing your story.

It is great to view this through the eyes and mind of a teenager :)

Excellent suggestions... it's like keeping it simple. I think some of us adult children of a parent with memory issues tend to overthink.

The 'keep it light' segment is spot on

I love this grandkid. Some of these suggestions are so loving, and some are really helpful.

What a wonderful and sweet grandchild you are. You are a true blessing to your grandmother and your 'tips' are appreciated. I have an older sister that is in mid-stage dementia and I am constantly learning of new ways to make her feel comfortable when we visit. She is very dear to me and has always been my best friend. She has a hard time understanding common transactions when we venture out to eat. I gently take control and that seems to put her at ease. At first she seemed to object to me 'helping' her. Now it seems as though she welcomes it...somewhat. Naturally it makes me sad that we will never have the kind of relationship we once had but I am thankful that I can be there for her and help her as she tries to cope with this new and sometimes 'scary' phase of her life. I love her so much. We still have so many laughs and can reminesce about our childhood. She is a very kind soul and I have been blessed to have her for a sister and best friend

My husband has had dementia for 5 years. I realized lately that this is the way I need to handle situation, and I'm 75. Kudos to your sons for handlng situations the way they are!

I think this proves people who try to shelter their kids from dementia are misguided, kids are wonderfully adaptable and often much wiser than we give them credit for. We all new my grandfather was "senile", but perhaps because I didn't have the before and after picture in my mind I was able to better accept and love him unconditionally just as he was.

Brilliant and useful. I particularly appreciate the advice no 3 on the little things like instead of saying the name, use a description. Thank you for sharing

Great. So much to learn from youngsters. My sons too take care of my mom.My elder son too manages her by giving her what and how she wants to do without confusing her.He says 85 is too late to do things as we want.Kudos to the younger generation.