4give4get and Carol, Reconciliation has not worked in my case either. It was very ugly and I got to the point that I had to detach and actually moved 450 miles away after providing 24/7 care for mom for four years. And 4give the additional stress caused by siblings was more difficult than the caregiving. In my case one extremely narcisscistic twisted sister the other in complete denial of mom's disease make for a perfect storm. Even with mom now in memory care for a year, twisted 2 is still in denial, twisted 1 still the narcissist and sucks #2 into her trap.

I too, plan on writing a book, for now I am entrenched in trying to reclaim my life, which is very difficult. What I really tire of is all the stories told with rose colored glasses about how families become close while trying to deal with an elderky parent that develops dementia. While it would be wonderful if families could become closer, it is not the norm.

Thank you for publishing this Carol. I look forward to others replies.

4give, you should come and visit the dysfunctional thread.

AMEN! I tried it all because I wanted my siblings to work with me as a team to help take care if Mom. They went to one counseling session with me but wouldn't continue. It was more stressful than the tasks of taking care of Mom. I'm writing a book about my journey from resentment to forgiveness. Unfortunately, this did not include reconciliation.

This is a great article and if you have read this because of your own issues, you are NOT alone!

Prayers for all.