Thanks for sharing this blog!

Sarah Jane, thank you for the blog, I know we all run through the day when there is too much going on. Even the best laid plans can go haywire.

I tend to get OCD when it comes to logistical type issues, such as taking my parents to a doctor's appointment. I want to be there on time with little stress as possible. I learned quickly to tell my parents I would be picking them up at such & such time adding an extra 15 minutes. My late Mom was always ready, completely dressed plus jacket, scarf, and her purse all ready to go....

Then there was Dad who was searching for his wallet.... then struggling to get his jacket on... then deciding what baseball cap to wear.... oops, he needed his glasses... and the hardest part looking for his cane [not easy in a 3 story house]... one day it was out in the garage.... then I noticed Dad didn't have his shoes on.

Then I could hear them trying to buckle their seatbelts, click, click, click, click, and not getting them to work.... [sigh].... so here I am a senior citizen myself trying to climb into the back seat to buckle the belts.

Even with that added 15 minutes, I was a mess... so stressed as I didn't want to be late plus there is always paperwork to fill out, and filling out for 2 parents can be mind-blogging especially when one can't hear very well. Mom insisted on answering every question, so there I am talking LOUD asking Mom who was 97 "are you pregnant?".

Nine times out of 10, that doctor appointment was unnecessary :P

Great reminder. I have learned so much from these articles but learned to focus on just mom when I'm with her. Any little thing distracts her rather walking, talking, eating, dressing. Each night I prepare her for bed, step by step, take off shoes, shirt, pants. Then put on pajama top bottoms. I don't talk on the phone, won't answer the phone so we can stay focused. She does much better. Any distractions totally throws her off. But I look at it as a chance to spend real quality time with her she has my full attention and I can notice anything unusual.

Simple advice for all efficient caregivers –we all forget sometimes that simple, calm, relaxed and focused is the best gift we can give those with dementia (and ourselves at the same time)!

I suspect that when your mom said the genealogy was a lot more complicated than people think, she may have wanted to impart some information to you. One of the problems with genealogies is that by the time we get interested, very often, the people who can answer questions or tell us important information, are gone. Next time, plan to sit down and go over the genealogy with her. Don't remind her of her comment as if your are seeking to find out what she meant, as she probably won't remember the comment. But show her the genealogy and explain each generation. You might discover one of those skeletons in the closet that might explain something you have been unable to figure out. As for multi tasking, how well I know. I have a husband and child, and too much multi tasking means I don't get to really "hear" them, nor focus on things important to them, which translates in their mind to my not caring. I am trying to do better, but us must-taskers find it hard to sit down and focus on one thing because our list of "to do's" seems so overwhelming sometimes. I am making a note to myself right now to sit down and focus on what my child has to say when he comes home from school, and be a good listener, for once. And to call my aunt with dementia and my disabled uncle who is also having trouble thinking straight and who misses his wife terribly but cannot go to visit her. Prayers for all...I only wish I was close enough to them to go get my aunt and do some of the fun things we never could do while she was caring for my uncle 24/7, but she is now over a thousand miles away. :-(

yep

Great advice for everyone. It is too easy to lapse into our own mode of doing, rather than focusing on the person who should be the focus of our attention. Sometimes, I feel my goal is to make the world less confusing for them and the dirty dishes are not really that important.