When the state stepped in and put my mom in the hospital for the 2nd time (after running me off and younger brother stepped in and failed miserably) I had to go to court and gained guardianship of her. I've never had an issue with anyone having both POA and Guardianship paperwork for her. Wishing you the best.

My MIL POA lives in NC while we live in her basement in NJ. And I take care of everything and I mean everything. I also have my own family. Thank God for this website to vent. I have been on here numerous times. Since I don't always want to vent to my only family a sister going through lung cancer. I myself have crohns and stress is not my friend. So as I was advised to walk away when needed, we all know thats easier said then done. I wish I could show her what it is like to really be alone. But we have been close for 30 years. Moved in 6 years ago to make it easier, help clean snow shovel garbage..you all know. We all have our degrees of patience and understanding, my is almost gone. But as much as I vent to my husband her son. I try to save him from the stress since he has UC. Huh. What us women do.

Caringson12,

I agree with you 100%! No one should take on the role of caregiver if someone else has POA & other legal roles. I found out the hard way years later.

After getting the POA paperwork done, still had trouble with banks. Bank Of America and PNC Bank would not honor the POA paperwork even after the lawyer who drafted them wrote them an irate letter stating that they had the proper credentials to draft any legal paperwork for elderly.

Elder Attorneys have the forms.

Mom is at very end-stage Alzheimer's and I thank God I have all the legal garbage done before she got fully incapacitated. I must STRESS do **NOT** ever attempt POA or anything legal without an attorney. Online forms can screw you up and state laws vary. DO NOT TAKE ANY CHANCES. See a real attorney and get it done RIGHT or not at all.

Where can I obtain these many forms needed?

My mother does not have a will. She has no property,she lives with my husband and I, she does not owe any money and only her SS in the bank. When her time comes will we have a problem bc she doesn’t have a will? I know she wants to be cremated.

Karen sl-I understand an you have my sympathies as I to have not only 2 Parents, father with leukemia,
Mother advanced dementia an a brother who they allowed to live with them long time ago an he is trying to “control” food, Care etc It’s a nightmare an I have both financial & medical POA...he for example won’t allow them to have bread as it “won’t fit in refrig” an molds outside cause it’s 80+ indoors an he claims he can’t control
The wood burner outside that heats their huge home...it’s a nightmare as brother is bipolar on his Meds but in reality I have 3 people to deal with...it’s not working an Parents won’t leave so I’m Getting guardianship/conservator as they leave me no choice....don’t feel bad please as I can tell you are doing all you can,
Like me ...an I’m a lawyer an it’s tough handling your own family -take
Care please you have to hang
In there know you are not alone please :) I can’t even keep Home
care working as all 3 of them act so horrible :) if you ever need any help with questions - ideas please reach out, it’s not easy what we are doing :)

I am the POA for my mom, I have sent all her creditors a letter stating that she can’t pay her credit card debit due to her health issues and have sent the the legal power of attorney. Some credit have come back as asked for my social security number, copy of my drivers license and my financial and employment information. I have not given the financial or employment information. As I am nit assuming her debit. Do I need to give them my Social security information or drivers license.

I am doing everything, at 68, to care for my husband, 82, with dementia. After 2 years of watching him fail, I now find my own stamina and health failing. I have reached out to family, friends, my support group, but I feel like a sinking ship with no interests. Just getting through one day us an effort if sadness and feeling sorry for myself. This has to change, but even the little steps I make to feel whole are not helping. I am lost.

Informative & helpful, THANK U.

When my husband and I first made our POAs, he had named our son and I named my daughter. Neither of us thought that might become an issue but now when I need to make a decision for my husband who has ALZ I have to ask my son. Thank goodness he handles it exactly the way we would want but I feel bad having to put the burden on him.

This is a good article. I have relatives who had trouble with hospitals honoring the living will, so that would be something that might need legal attention also.

Caring son 12 you are SO right. I thought I had everything covered with both my parents with a durable power of attorney. When my father died, everything went very smooth. Funeral arrangements, closing/changing bank accounts etc but my mother just now passed & my sibling who has never been in their lives is giving me all kinds of grief. The funeral home requested his signature for cremation & he is refusing to sign because he thinks he will get stuck for half the bill. They have told him I have already paid for it but he has threatened to call the police if anyone hassles him again. I did not have the correct paperwork signed by my mom for the cremation to take place.

Thank you for this article!

Excellent article on the subject. Thank you!

I waited too long to try to get power of attorney for my wife and had Togo through a legal process and appear before a judge to gain full guardianship of her.

Before you take on the responsibility of caring for a parent be sure and have all legal documents your parents made reviewed by an attorney. Do not end up in the role of caretaker only to find out an uninvolved sibling can make the final health or financial decisions because of previously drawn up documents by your parents. Only take on the care taker role if you have full control over all decisions. I learned this lesson while taking care of my mother.