The caregiver is often isolated too. Today I laid in bed beside my mother and guess what, not only is she now sleeping nicely but I feel better as well. I think that constantly focusing on her physical needs without her being able to respond with any sense of thanks or closeness was spiritually draining me, I will have to keep reminding myself how restorative a little sympathetic together time can be!

it was a good article, but also in todays society and workplace you have to be careful that the person on the other end of that "touch on the shoulder or arm" is not taken as sexual harassment. everyone is different, so maybe it would be good to let them know you appreciate them and then touch the arm. I have friends that always hug when we see them, another friend just isn't comfortable with that. who knows maybe that person had some kind of bad encounter with touch before.

Wow! I've been thinking about this a lot lately! I found that when I visited mom when she was near dying (she couldn't speak, couldn't see - she had a massive stroke and they could do nothing else for her), I put compresses on her forehead, held her hand and talked with her hoping that on some level she knew I was there. When I go to a store or restaurant lately, I try to smile at people, say hi to their children, help an older person with a door, take their hand crossing a street, etc. and sometimes I get strange looks, others just pull away. Maybe people are getting desensitized when it comes to people helping them or even shaking hands. It's kind of sad. I'm a hugger, and our church family is like that so it's nice to be there on Sundays to sort of get a boost/re-charge. Because of electronics, the socialization element is slowly dwindling from our society. Thank you so much for writing this article. It may catch on and people may "pay it forward" by reaching out and touching someone and/or showing they care more often.

Every person is different. Some yearn for human touch while others cringe at the mere thought of touching or being touched by other people.
My mother was a social person, so she craved and appreciated human touch, especially from those who cared about her. In her last months, my mother not only appreciated my hugs, embraces and gentle touches, she responded by reciprocating and touched my arm and face as well.
My favorite memory now is one night when my mother fell asleep in my arms whIle in the hospital. I let her sleep that way for about 30 minutes before I had to leave. I felt so bad that I had to interrupt my mother's peaceful sleep. Her sleeping in my arms told me that she felt safe and secure as I held her head and arms.
My mother couldn't communicate that we'll due to Alzheimers, but that occasion spoke volumes to me.
My mother died three weeks ago, so I will always treasure that night as she fell asleep in my arms. Now she is asleep in God's loving arms.
May God bless all who provide care to their aging parents as they become weak and fragile.

I think lack of touch is endemic in the older demographic. As our age increases odds are we will lose our spouse/partner who was our closest contact, close friends become telephone companions, family visits are limited and the joy of cuddling a small child is a distant memory. When the time comes that we need help with ADLs in long term care the staff are separated from true touch by latex gloves and social norms that discourage hugs and physical displays of affection as being unprofessional. It's no wonder therapy pets are so popular, often it is the only warm loving body people get to touch.

Good thought, but how do you implement it? I am rather standoffish myself, and would be very uncomfortable if someone that i didn't know very well wanted to embrace me, hold me, or even hold hands. Some people have employed a massage therapist, but I am uncomfortable even with that (even if I could afford the cost). Yes, I am basically a hermit, even though I live with many others.

I could not agree MORE. Years ago when I went through a bad divorce what occurred to me one awful morning is how I ached to be touched again. I had been raising three children myself and had a lot on my shoulders and realized how long it had been since someone held, comforted ME. We all need to be cared for, not just washed, fed and our basic needs met.