Water only for beverages, or follow every beverage with water? Since he is obsessed with his teeth, maybe it might work. Watch out for over-brushing (ask me how I know!). As far as the $13k....depends. If you have a million in the bank, go ahead. If you have enough to live on after he passes, go ahead. If spending it now reduced options you may want later, go for the $3k solution. Don't do the "pull one at a time" option, or you may be risking numerous infected/abscessed teeth that may exhibit as mania/outburst at a later point (pain+infection that Charlie can't communicate about)
I too am trying to decide on dental work for my husband at $3,000.00 worth. Not sure if he should go through all that pain. He is in stage one Dementia. Not able to do anything any more. Lynnbren50
Sorry about your husband's teeth. If it were me, I would definitely look into what I remember pediatric dentists used to do for my children's teeth in the past, which was to paint on a clear protective lacquer like substance to protect their young enamel from cavities. Can't remember what it was called. Even though probably not covered by insurance, it would be a super simple way to protect enamel from further loss, not to mention drastically less expensive than crowns!!! Also, you could give him water to "drink" and swish immediately after the acid drink so it wouldn't sit on teeth any longer. Perhaps with his dementia he wouldn't even notice if you stopped giving him acid drinks or foods like fruit altogether. Enough nourishment could be had with vegetables rather than fruits. Regarding my own mother who is in her 90's and came to live with me a few years ago: I took her to a dentist nearby that was in her insurance system who I had never been to before, and over trusted him to be honest because I had a always had trustworthy dentists. So I let him put three crowns on her front teeth when I had gone in for one, which was only 2 years old anyway. It was such a stressful time with both parents living with me that I didn't properly think to question him. It was only shortly afterwards I thought to switch to the same dentist for my self to save money that the red flags went up: then I had 2 opinions with my periodontist and another dentist that confirmed that the 3 extra crowns he wanted to do for me in addition to the one I went in for, were totally unnecessary!!! Moral of the story: It is so easy for a dentist to lie, or direct you to more work than you need, especially when it is for those of advanced age. I used to work in the dental field when I was way younger and had been aware of honesty issues commonly happening. So hopefully a simpler solution is possible in your case. In addition, any decay issues might be minimally fixed before any protective glaze could be applied. So definitely get more opinions! I don't know how many teeth he has left, but there is always risk to general anesthesia, infection, and pain of extractions. Or regarding crowns, the huge amount of time to sit in the chair for so much work time. Another option: Treat each tooth one by one in time as decay happens, and if need be, use partial dentures as a possibility. I don't know, but the strangeness of new dentures filling his mouth might cause him to be unwilling to wear them ????? It is very hard to predict life expectancy, which certainly complicates the problem. 6-8 years ago when my mom was more independent in wishing to make her own decisions, she had bad toothaches under a bridge that her dentist said to at the least remove that part of the brige and extract the bad tooth. She totally refused, and in the end, the tooth must have died, the pain went away after a month or so, and the bridge is still in place. I am shocked that it hasn't broken off from the decay 8 or so years later !!!!! No pain. Now that she is 97 I will just wait until it breaks off. Everyone's situation is different, but I hope some of this helps you.
I give my mother a straw, it helps her to just swallow. He doesn't need dentures, he needs dental care. Repair the teeth one at a time. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing kind of thing. Crowns on the front - build up on the back - I also suggest a second opinion. Dentures are a nightmare for many people. Getting used to dentures at his age is not very likely. You would likely end up with a toothless grin and teeth in a glass by the sink.
Dementia and Alzheimer's Disease are devastating and heartbreaking diseases. To watch an intelligent person become childlike and not able to care for themselves is horrible!
Perhaps a good rule of thumb would be to ask "If this was me, what would I do?" - For me, it's not difficult to answer. I'm not vain; I'd say "Pull 'em."
The price for dentures seems out of line since they don't make them out of ceramic any more. The ones I've got are some kind of polymer/plastic. I'd be very surprised if they cost $7K
I am facing the same kinds of issues with my 67 year old husband. He is fixated on things that are really detrimental to his health and no amount of logic or trying to convince him helps. He forgets immediately and goes back to those negative behaviors. And like you, I am torn about the decisions I have to make.
For example, how will my husband deal with sitting at the dentist's office and have teeth removed slowly? And can he sit for a denture fitting and then remember how to prepare them and put them in? If not, can he eat without teeth? Can I put him through any painful procedures that won't have any lasting effects? Not to mention the financial costs!
And that's just his teeth! There are so many other issues with food, sweets, cough drops, hearing aids, handkerchiefs, etc., etc.! It never ends. And each becomes a crisis that I have to find some way to deal with and pay for. That's why we caregivers wear out faster than our loved ones. Because this disease is equally if not more cruel to the caregiver.
Marlis Sorry to read of your problems with your husbands teeth. My mom has had false teeth for many many years. At 96, I think she has not put them in her mouth for about years now but everyday wants to know where they are. Dementia is a horrible disease and God Bless the caregivers.
Marlis, I completely understand what you are going through. My mother is 85 and has always taken good care of herself. But since the onset of dementia she seems to not care about how she looks. And brushing her teeth is an issue. She is presently living alone. My brother lives close by and checks on her daily, bringing her meals, and staying a few nights a week. I live out of town, but travel to her home every other week to help out with whatever I can. Her teeth have become an issue. A couple of years ago, we had taken her to her regular dentist who charged over $1800.00 dollars for 4 cavities and a cleaning. She had no insurance, and received a 10% senior citizen discount. Knowing that she has to go to the dentist because she does not brush her teeth like she should, I also got her the Delta Dental plan. She chipped two of her front teeth, and others are deteriorating. The dentist has said that she needs at least 6 teeth pulled, and bridges put on them. The 2 eye teeth need crowns. I too don't know what to do. It is extremely frustrating. Why aren't there dentists out there to assist the elderly with an issue such as this. I think it definitely taking advantage and I am right on top of these dentists about it. I feel your pain though, really I do!
My husband has a partial plate and I had to take it away because he would not keep it in and would put it in his pocket dirty and then back in his mouth. It was really bad.
I don't think this is a simple decision at all. You are making a very personal decision for someone unable to do so. Are his teeth past the stage where Pronamel would benefit?
I think I would get a second opinion from another dentist. I was just looking up root canal prices this morning, as my father had to have one a few weeks ago and is horrified at the bill (which is in line with other dentist/endodonists). I think some dentists are taking advantage of people. Not to say we haven't had our share of teeth problems in last couple of years (7 cavities last year) after a lifetime of good teeth and nutrition. I think he forgets to brush and drinks Listerine. But trying to explain the need for the root canal and the bill to him with dementia is very trying.
Good article, bringing to light things we all [caring for those with dementia] should keep in mind if we haven't yet experienced anything of that magnitude. And actually, that decision IS of a fairly large magnitude. The title of the article had me thinking it was going to be more along the lines of "a day in the life"... about the truly simple decisions that my mom struggles with continually. Which top (or anything) to wear, what kind of sandwich (or anything) to eat, what program to watch - heck, which chair to sit in. For that matter, which way to turn when she is walking. Simultaneously exasperating and heartbreaking.
My husband is 82, has stage 1 dementia and has lost a lot of teeth do to sugar abuse for many years. He also has neuropathy - probably from same cause. To replace teeth now makes no sense, especially when the expense is likely to outlive him. We can't afford it now - I definitely won't be able to make payments once he (and his income) are gone. Like many caregivers, my financial future is bleak. Fortunately, he realizes this, and chooses to do without the missing (bottom front) teeth - even though it makes eating more difficult.
My Dad had dentures put in @ around $3000.00 and died less than 2 months later. I can't help but think the dentist had to have known his health was bad enough that the dentures were not really needed. It was a long time ago but I'll never forget how much he spent for practically nothing! It was his decision and he was mentally sound to make that decision....stil.....
I like the therapist idea and the sippy cup. For the damage now incurred, I wonder if it's worth checking with any area dental schools that may have students able to do dental work for you.
This could be my husband's story. He has always been a little "vain" and did not want to get dentures. Instead, got the partial, which is constantly breaking, the anchor teeth are deteriorating, and it is very costly. These decisions are not easy, but sometimes we have to put our foot down and let logic and common sense rule! Good luck!
Please get your personal medical doctor to refer you two to a speech pathologist/therapist. What crosses my mind is to provide him with a sip cup or a cup with a lid and straw so that he sucks the liquid in. Harder to relocate the liquid bolus to do the swishing thing. A speech therapist will no doubt have plenty of other ideas. How about enamel building rinses, so he can 'swish' to his hearts content with stuff that builds the enamel back up. Seems like your choices are being limited....
Great writing, Marlis. Thanx for sharing your problems with us. My husband has a good mind, but his body has been deteriorating for a long time. He now has advanced, metastatic prostate cancer which is all up and down his spine. In addition to that, he has diabetes and lots and lots of arthritis. Just this week he has decided he ought not drive anymore, which is a great choice, but it leaves more on my plate. Now I have to chauffeur him to all the places he goes, primarily to many different doctors. It is so hard, I am now 81 with aches and pains of my own. John is 83. Who knows the future? And how to plan for it? Like you, we have several choices, but which ones to take? Should we sell our home? I know I would not be able to keep it up should he go to Heaven before me. If we do sell our home, where should we locate? It would have to be somewhere that does not require any yard maintenance. .Should we sell all his multitude of tools, machinery, wood working supplies? We disagree on when to do that, it would be a huge emotional step for him to see his 'toys' leave here. Last year before he was diagnosed with cancer he had a lot of his teeth extracted, preparing for dentures. Now there is a choice similar to yours - should he go ahead with dentures? And the list goes on and on, including end of life decisions. "Old age" is also a cruel disease for some.
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Dementia Makes Even Simple Decisions Difficult for Caregivers
Since he is obsessed with his teeth, maybe it might work. Watch out for over-brushing (ask me how I know!).
As far as the $13k....depends. If you have a million in the bank, go ahead. If you have enough to live on after he passes, go ahead. If spending it now reduced options you may want later, go for the $3k solution. Don't do the "pull one at a time" option, or you may be risking numerous infected/abscessed teeth that may exhibit as mania/outburst at a later point (pain+infection that Charlie can't communicate about)
Lynnbren50
Also, you could give him water to "drink" and swish immediately after the acid drink so it wouldn't sit on teeth any longer. Perhaps with his dementia he wouldn't even notice if you stopped giving him acid drinks or foods like fruit altogether. Enough nourishment could be had with vegetables rather than fruits.
Regarding my own mother who is in her 90's and came to live with me a few years ago: I took her to a dentist nearby that was in her insurance system who I had never been to before, and over trusted him to be honest because I had a always had trustworthy dentists. So I let him put three crowns on her front teeth when I had gone in for one, which was only 2 years old anyway. It was such a stressful time with both parents living with me that I didn't properly think to question him. It was only shortly afterwards I thought to switch to the same dentist for my self to save money that the red flags went up: then I had 2 opinions with my periodontist and another dentist that confirmed that the 3 extra crowns he wanted to do for me in addition to the one I went in for, were totally unnecessary!!! Moral of the story: It is so easy for a dentist to lie, or direct you to more work than you need, especially when it is for those of advanced age. I used to work in the dental field when I was way younger and had been aware of honesty issues commonly happening. So hopefully a simpler solution is possible in your case. In addition, any decay issues might be minimally fixed before any protective glaze could be applied. So definitely get more opinions!
I don't know how many teeth he has left, but there is always risk to general anesthesia, infection, and pain of extractions. Or regarding crowns, the huge amount of time to sit in the chair for so much work time.
Another option: Treat each tooth one by one in time as decay happens, and if need be, use partial dentures as a possibility. I don't know, but the strangeness of new dentures filling his mouth might cause him to be unwilling to wear them ?????
It is very hard to predict life expectancy, which certainly complicates the problem. 6-8 years ago when my mom was more independent in wishing to make her own decisions, she had bad toothaches under a bridge that her dentist said to at the least remove that part of the brige and extract the bad tooth. She totally refused, and in the end, the tooth must have died, the pain went away after a month or so, and the bridge is still in place. I am shocked that it hasn't broken off from the decay 8 or so years later !!!!! No pain. Now that she is 97 I will just wait until it breaks off. Everyone's situation is different, but I hope some of this helps you.
For example, how will my husband deal with sitting at the dentist's office and have teeth removed slowly? And can he sit for a denture fitting and then remember how to prepare them and put them in? If not, can he eat without teeth? Can I put him through any painful procedures that won't have any lasting effects? Not to mention the financial costs!
And that's just his teeth! There are so many other issues with food, sweets, cough drops, hearing aids, handkerchiefs, etc., etc.! It never ends. And each becomes a crisis that I have to find some way to deal with and pay for. That's why we caregivers wear out faster than our loved ones. Because this disease is equally if not more cruel to the caregiver.
Th
I completely understand what you are going through. My mother is 85 and has always taken good care of herself. But since the onset of dementia she seems to not care about how she looks. And brushing her teeth is an issue. She is presently living alone. My brother lives close by and checks on her daily, bringing her meals, and staying a few nights a week. I live out of town, but travel to her home every other week to help out with whatever I can. Her teeth have become an issue. A couple of years ago, we had taken her to her regular dentist who charged over $1800.00 dollars for 4 cavities and a cleaning. She had no insurance, and received a 10% senior citizen discount. Knowing that she has to go to the dentist because she does not brush her teeth like she should, I also got her the Delta Dental plan. She chipped two of her front teeth, and others are deteriorating. The dentist has said that she needs at least 6 teeth pulled, and bridges put on them. The 2 eye teeth need crowns. I too don't know what to do. It is extremely frustrating. Why aren't there dentists out there to assist the elderly with an issue such as this. I think it definitely taking advantage and I am right on top of these dentists about it. I feel your pain though, really I do!
machinery, wood working supplies? We disagree on when to do that, it would be a huge emotional step for him to see his 'toys' leave here. Last year before he was
diagnosed with cancer he had a lot of his teeth extracted, preparing for dentures. Now there is a choice similar to yours - should he go ahead with dentures? And the list goes on and on, including end of life decisions. "Old age" is also a cruel disease for some.