Thank you for sharing your experience. I need to start researching home health aides to assist with bathing for my husband who has strong objections. You’ve given me some good ideas for moving forward. Glad it worked out for you. Gives me hope. 😊

How about calling your Church and see if someone there might be looking for extra income. Make sure they go through the Red Cross Training Course. You might get lucky and someone in your church already has. If they could make their money direct from you instead of an agency, they will actually get more, or you could reduce your fee to compensate for the lower cost. Don't just think about your church but another church...BUT, check them out. Talk to the pastor or priest and tell them what you are considering.

For an aide, check with ur Office ofAging. Try any senior organizations.

I think it is great. I have resisted an aid. But, I am SO there. I doubt he would allow a women to bath him. But, when the PT comes in (a HE), my partner is talkative and friendly. When I am taking care of my partner, he is like OH WOE is ME! I am so ready for a day off. I will call tomorrow. I will start with one day and work it up to a few days. Then I can finally go visit my grandkids. Thanks so much for the post

I wish i could get an aide for Mom. She does not qualify for Medicaid by $40.00!!! If anyone has any ideas, information or comments, I will greatly appreciate it.

Jessie could you not just use a little white lie and tell Mom it is the law? Not far from the truth if it is "JessieBelle's Law"

I saw the title and said, "Is that Marlis?" I opened the article and yes, it was. :) Always a treat to read what you write.

And even though I don't know Charlie, I feel better just knowing he'll be clean. Way to go, Marlis! Good job. Sometimes I feel we should get Congress to pass legislation that people have to have at least one bath a week. Then we could tell our loved ones that it's the law.

Great story. When my mom lived with me, she had Alzheimer's and passed 3 years ago, her aid Esther used to waltz with her and they's end up in the bathroom! So cute. She was very resistant to showering. She'd feel so cold.It was a problem until she died. Now my mo in law has Alzheimer's and also lives with us. She lies to us about showering often, we are going to have to start thinking of a good way to make sure she does it instead of faking it!

My question...why didn't you get a male aide? My uncle was in an assisted living. We had been visiting and were getting ready to leave when a femail aide came in. She told him it was time to shower. He said OK when into the bathroom and locked the door, leaving the aide outside. She hollered that she needed to be in there with him. My Aunt said "good luck with that". My husband said he wouldn't want her in there either. There were male aides where my Mom was. I questioned if any of them took care of Mom. I was told not for a shower or toileting. The males were to call in a femail aide for that.

It certainly is challenging. My 87 year old mother and my 92 year old mil are both reluctant to bathe or shower (both have dementia), but their caregivers muddle through it a couple of times a week. I buy the microwavable bathing wipes for the days without a shower and that seems to work well.

Just curious, how is Charlie related to you? (I didn't read earlier comments).

I think my husband would have had a fit if I just sprung something like that on him without warning. Guess I am lucky my husband is pretty easy going. We have a care giver come in once a week to just be around in case he needs help. I think he knows that someday he will need help. So now the care giver also helps me out a bit and I can get my hair done and get to go shopping by myself!

I'm surprised that Charlie agreed to shower with the assistance of a woman. My husband, Dean, would never consent to that, so when that time comes for us, I will have to have a man in to assist. You are fortunate that he was agreeable. I am always interested in your experiences as Dean has Alzheimer's and I find your experiences most helpful. Blessings!

Great job on your part - to decide to "get the caregiver" is the first step. Congrats! and good luck going forward. I imagine Charlie will become dependent on her and over you. I imagine it has something to do with old stereotypes….you don't want to be a burden on your family; so he resists your suggestion, because it is a feeling of "loss of independence".

As always you are an inspiration Marlis with your mature insights and inspiration

Good for you!! We're just starting with every day home health care for my mom. She just can't be alone in our home for any length of time anymore. And I'll bet she'll like being clucked over, too, once she gets used to the idea.

Marlis, thank you for walking us through the time frame when using a home health aide to help your hubby with showering. I am amazed at how these women are able to get people to take a bath or shower, more power to them. I bet you were so glad it was a success :)

Oh Marlis - I am sooooo happie for you and for Charlie !!! I bet he did indeed like the pampering.......most of 'us people' like to be pampered. I was hoping Charlie would like it. We have had home health care several times over the past 15 years or so for my husband John. I tell you, he loves it when they come.......he is usually a quiet person, but when they come he talks so much it is amazing. And get this - the people that come just LOVE him !!! Ha ha ha..............