I'm not sure if my mother-in-law is having this condition, we are waiting for the next appointment with the doctor to confirm so that we know what treatment is best. She has severe dementia and doesn't sleep in the night except for an hour or 2. During the day she doesn't sleep much as well. Night hours are difficult for everyone as she bangs the table and keeps asking for food. I'm seeing some similarities of her behaviour with those mentioned here but looks like her behaviour is throughout the day

Regards, Grace<br>86

I know this is an old topic, but I just found it and wow! It helped so much -- so many of the comments describe my dad's behavior! It is comforting to know it's not uncommon.

Yup, freqflyer, my Hubby exactly including Jeopardy questions.

Ann Marie, my Dad is showing signs of Sundowner's and like you, it really shook me to the core seeing that. Here is a man who use to answer most of the questions on Jeopardy, and now he gets confused in the late afternoon and evenings. I am shaking just typing this.... [sigh].

You are so right, knowing it and experiencing it are two very different things. Here I thought I was ready with all the research I had done. Not.

I guess I'm lucky. When my husband gets anxious, he lets me know and is willing to take any medication I give him. He's been on Trazodone for depression and insomnia and on Melatonin to get to sleep. I also use Calm Forte, an over the counter homeopathic type drug which calms during the day and in combo with the other two at night helps with getting to sleep. If I want to get him to sleep without using all of them, he needs to do some exercise during the day and at bedtime, I get in bed with him and hold him for awhile and play Spanish guitar music softly on the tape recorder. By the end of the tape, he's usually asleep.

My mom was a pacer (now wheelchair bound and in end stage dementia) could not just sit at any time of day let alone after 4:30. Mom and dad would go eat and she would come home immediately and start closing up the the shutters for fear that someone would be looking in on them. Would turn the thermostat hotter than hot where you just couldn't breathe. Dad would sneak and turn the air back on. I wouldn't say she was agitated but she just couldn't sit still. We couldn't get her to try ANY medications. Unfortunately my dad just had to live with it until his heart attack and we had to put her in a facility due to her confusion over his medical condition. I would tell her he can't get out of bed because he had a heart attack and she would turn to me and say "I KNOW THAT!". Then she would turn to him and say "Get UP and take me to dinner!". Finally it got so bad that I witnessed her getting mad at him and hitting him on the head and I couldn't take my eyes off of her for one minute for fear of what she would do. So, unfortunately we had to put her in a facility for what we thought would be a few weeks so my dad could recover and it's now been 6 1/2 years. It was awful at the time but I see now looking back that it was just a matter of time before she would have had to go anyway. My dad would not been able to handle her and bringing someone in would have caused WW3. She was coherent enough to fight anyone on coming into the house even housekeeper. Anyway, long story short.....she was able to pace all she wanted all night long at the facility. Many falls later and now she is either in wheelchair or bed. I'm not sure what the answer is unless you can get him to take medication to calm his anxiety at that time of day. Good luck and God Bless

My 93 year old husband has sundowners. But, he's a very gentle, quiet man. As mentioned, what to do in the evening after dinner? I've run out of old paper to shred; tried to get him to reconcile a checkbook which didn't work. He couldn't figure out debit and credit and whether to add or subtract. And he used to keep his own checkbook.
His confusion actually starts after his afternoon nap, about 3 pm. And, like someone mentioned, at bed time, he doesn't remember his "chores" -- remove dentures and hearing aids, get undressed, etc. Thinks that lives in another house that looks like ours. (He's lived here for 30 years & we've been married 19 of those). Thinks there are a bunch of ladies who live here. Keeps looking for them.

Anyhow, sundowners after 3 pm whether light or dark (summer or winter) outside, he has nothing to do. And gets confused. Thinks it's time for dinner, which is usually about 6pm.

Ok, I'm done. Will continue to read.

I went through it with my mom before she went in to the facility. About after 5:30pm, mom kept asking me "when can we go home " even though we were home. Then, she would call her husband as her Dad. It was weird situation to see her confused like that. Now, I'm dealing with my dad going through the same thing, but in different confusion and agitation. It is very hard and it hurts.

God Bless you for bringing your parents into your home. Thank goodness my parents didn't have to do that. With my mom's alz/dementia getting worse, plus my dad's heart attack, I know I wouldn't have had the stamina to do take care of them both for very long. Lived with them for 6 mos. as it was until mom just got too bad and dad was kind of back on his feet. We still have lots of drs. appts. and visits to see mom. You are way behind me with your mom (mom has had dementia going on 12 years) but I wish you lots of luck in your (and her's) journey. God Bless

Ann Marie, God bless you and your family. I hope you all can maintain such a positive attitude. bless everyone for sharing. Benita, please don't feel bad. It sounds like you are handling things well, but realize your frustration is not with your husband, but the situation/condition.

My mother was in a rehab center when she started Sundowning. At the time, I didn't know what it was. She would get agitated and confused with ordinary evening routine such as toileting, washing her face and brushing her hair and teeth. One night I saw her having trouble, and patiently explained to her that things could be much easier if she would use wipes. I rearranged things so she would have them handy and showed her how to use them. A few minutes later she was still having trouble, making a mess. I reminded her and showed her again. She continued with the paper. It was piling up everywhere and the entire bathroom was a disaster area.. I got so irritated. I snapped at her, "I showed you 3 times what to do! Why are not doing what I said? "
She paused, and then answered through tears, "I don't know, Chessie (my childhood nickname). I really don't know."

Now years after losing Mom, she's still teaching me. As Dad is going through Sundowning, I know from that exchange years ago that as hard as it is on me, it's that much worse for him. I must be as patient and calm as possible, and as several have said, keep loving and smiling until the door is shut behind me.

This could have been me writing this. The only difference is that I would be writing about my husband. It is so hard to see this happening. My husband used to be so intelligent. A encyclopedia on two legs. If anyone needed an answer to something, they always turned to my husband. Now, he don't know anything anymore. He is wandering around all day, looking for his bed or the toilet or he want's to go "home", asking me if I'm going with or coming later. He start showing some mood swings now. Last week while I vacuum cleaned the house, he came and banged with his fist against the vacuum cleaner saying I have to stop using it, it is too noisy. He was really cross. My only problem is that I feel so guilty when I sometimes get annoyed with this. He can not help that he is like this. :(

So much on meds, especially antipsychotics depends on the person. I think how the brain is deteriorating causes a wide range of reactions. Without Seroquel my Mom is completely unmanageable!

I would not be true to myself or to my father's memory if I did not tell about his Sundowner's. His hostile behavior, agitation, and not sleeping at night were attributed by medical professionals to Sundowner's Syndrome. After I was successful in getting him taken off three antipsychotic drugs, he had no more of the Sundowner's symptoms.

Dana, I don't know if there is ever a really good time to move them. It would have been difficult for Mom whenever it was. I do not know the right answer. The move has been very hard on my mom, though she is fairly late stage, she may not last the year.

Appreciate your comments, GladImhere. I've been wondering if it's better to move Dad into a facility when he is aware or wait until he doesn't recognize his current home. Think you have helped me make up my mind.

Sundowners... I have taken care of my mom with AD for four years. And knowing changes are coming and having a good idea of what they looked like was helpful. It was about eight months ago that the nightly routine became who's house is this and when do we go home? This is in Mom's house of more than 50 years. About four months ago was when I started hearing these same questions in the morning too. The past few months were very hard, I had become very tired when I finally decided to let my sister place Mom in a facility, which sis had wanted to do for years. Seeing the decline in Mom was very hard for me especially lately. But, imagine the shock of my sister when Imhave told her all that was occurring and in her denial thought me a liar. Now with the placement everybody is seeing everything I had told them about and naturally there has been a sharp drastic decline since the placement. Some days it is as if Sundowner's begins witth rising from her bed until she goes to sleep at night.

My father is best in the morning because he has a set routine he enjoys. Someone is usually with him in the afternoon/early evening and keeps him busy. After he eats dinner and they go home, he doesn't know what to do with himself. He'll either go to bed much too early and wake up confused a few hours later or he will walk around his place restlessly picking up pieces of paper and calling me about them with mounting levels of anxiety. I field 3-4 calls a night even after we have spent the day together. He has never really known what to do with himself after dinner. I can see already from writing this that he needs a set routine in the evening. Wish he had a hobby but I can't seem to get him interested. I do try to minimize the paper as it comes into the house.

Holy crap, a gun? He no doubt has seen things like that on TV.

My mom didn't have Alzheimer's, just old-age dementia, but still. She got more crotchety, negative, and argumentive as the day wore on. She was so stubborn there wasn't much anyone could do.

And sadly, perhaps the worst is yet to come. My husband experienced sundowners and it got to be quite difficult. He would get agitated, restless and try to get up walk. At that point there was no way he could physically do that so this meant that I had to keep bringing him back into his bed/chair. It would start in late afternoon and persist into the night until exhaustion--his or mine--until I accepted the fact that I should pre-medicate him before he got into that state. It is a difficult fact to accept as a caregiver but sometimes it is better to accept that sundowners is a real thing, to be expected, and best dealt with by medication.

My husband is typically confused in the late evening. He doesn't know that we are in our home (where we have lived for32 years; he frequently asks if I am staying with him tonight, does not know we've been married 32 years); asks if I have a toothbrush; asks if the other people who live here are coming here tonight; etc. The night that was most troublesome was about two weeks ago. He absolutely did not know me, thought I was an intruder in the home and pulled his gun on me. (The bullits had been removed months ago by our son-in-law, so I knew I was OK). He ordered me into our bedroom , threatened me, told me to"Stay in there and don't come out". I did. I pretended to go to sleep. He came to bed at 2:30 am . The next morning he had no recollection of the previous night's drama. As long as every single thing in his life is absolutely perfect in every way (meaning we go where he wants to , like out to eat lunch, do what he wants to etc. etc.) he is happy. When the slightest small thing happens that is irritating or displeasing to him, he has a tantrum. Within minutes, he does not remember that he "acted up". I reported the gun incident and other frightening event s to his doctor. With the urging of our adult children and at her suggestion, our family is looking at Assisted Living options for him. This eventuality makes me distraught because he will never understand why we have moved him . When he is well . He is so happy.

I finally got my husband to go out since the weather improved - sunny and milder. We visited my son's family for our regular Sunday dinner (which had been interrupted for 2-3 weeks) and then finally got to see his cousin (3 lunch dates had been cancelled by the snow & ice). Hi spirits have improved and we can finally LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!

Booper37, It does seem to have been a long winter. I purchased some CDs about arm-chair Yoga for my father to do with me on days that he can't go to the gym. He also shows benefits from exercise and getting out, if just to drive around looking at houses for sale.

Kkinsel, my father will also sit in his living room with all the shades pulled even when it's a lovely sunny day. He opens the bedroom shades because his bedroom gets warm but then he dresses too lightly and gets cold in the LR, because that is where he sits and watches TV. Also his cataract makes glare worse on an overcast day. Perhaps your father is experiencing some of this. I go over everyday to open the shades and make sure he has what he needs. Today it was unseasonably warm outside so I asked him to sit with me in the sun for a few minutes.

Sunlight doesn't work for my dad he sits in his room all day in the dark with the shades pulled wearing sunglasses. Does anyone else's parents do this?

Buy some sun lamps. Turn every light in the house on until they go to bed.
There have been more sunlight here in Vancouver Wa than usual, But I don't like it here and that is a problem I cant do much about.

Thanks for sharing about Sundowners. I believe the tip about sunlight is worth a try. It sounds as though your family is coping well. I wish you patience and ase a of humor to get through this tough phase!

Ann Marie, I agree with you. Knowing something and then experiencing it are two very different things. My mom was truly one of the best moms to grow up with. Loving wife, an amazing cook, read a ton, took care of all us kids, and worked as an RN full time. She really was super women. Now she doesn't even talk. Has no interest in anything. Even taking her to the doctor has been an up hill battle for every appointment. It has been a long, cold, snowy winter in New England. I'm hoping the warmer weather and getting out more will help.

My husband never forgets who he is or where he is, but his sundowning results in his starting to curse and call me names - I have to remind him that I am his "wifey" and ignore the name-calling. During this winter he has stopped exercising, going to the gym, taking walks and retreating to his bed. It has been snowing and icy, difficult to get the car out and deal with his reistance to anything I suggest. He has stopped going to our therapist, and the weather has prevented starting up with someone new. I am just waiting for spring. Hopefully, today will be sunny and milder and we'll get back to the gym. This will put him in better spirits.