Just had an idea re Mom refusing paid in home help. Both are elderly and Dad has dementia and COPD and needs 24/7 care and supervision. I say we kids hire in home help for Dad. Tell Mom we are doing this for Dad which would be so. Parents have the resources to pay. We would trial 2 days then add two nights. Then hopefully add more hours and/or days. Month trial each. Sibs continue visits for family time , appts., shopping, manage finances and meds, monitor paid help etc. Thats a lot for us too! But much more doable than 24/7 coverage by sibs only.
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I just thought of something. My mom is primary caregiver for my dad who has dementia and COPD , on oxygen 24/7 now. Mom refuses paid in home help. And saysto pay one sib to clean the house is unfair tho although most of us agree that is perfectly OK. She also has arthritic hip that makes difficult to care for dad home cook etc. Sibs can not continue to do do 24/7 care and supervision of Dad. I see clearly that main issue is dads care and supervision. Think we should just tell Mom we are hiring 3 day per week help and house cleaning for Dad as trial. Will then determine after one month if this is sufficient to care for him safely and stay in own home. Rest of us will monitor and cover the other days and nights out of love. It's Dads money too so should not be just her decision.
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The right time, at least for me, is when you feel any particular device will reduce your own stress level - will solve a problem for both of you. Although my husband complained at first about the monitor, he knows it is for his own safety. I certainly have found I have been able to avert many incidents, such as finding him asleep (or nearly so) in the middle of the night. In fact, I now have 2 in case one malfunctions. I can't be without one any more.
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when is the right time to talk about monitors like life alert products
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For my mother, who was a legally blind individual, I made a whiteboard, placed on the kitchen wall after I had programmed her phone for routine numbers dialed.
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I am the wife/caregiver of a 70+ year old man with vascular dementia. In addition to the usual grab bars and eliminating scatter rugs, etc., there are two items that I really like and recommend. The first is the Philips LIfe Line Pendant. It has a technology that can tell when the wearer falls or just sits down hard. There are no "oops" calls. One time my husband accidentally flung it off with his shirt and the unit thought he had fallen. Because the response of the system is loud enough for me to hear, I was able to go in to see what had happened before the call completed and I was able to tell them that the pendant had indeed fallen but my husband had not. It also has a speaker that we keep in the bedroom which is separate from the main unit in the living rom. And I was able to set it up myself. The biggest plus on having this is that it has reduced my anxiety about his falling. It also allows him to call me for help if he needs it. The people who answer don't care - we are paying for it. We just say it is a "test". You do have to call in once a month for a test, so this is no problem.

The second item I highly recommend is a Levana baby monitor. Not only does it allow me to check on him, I am able to talk to him as well by pushing a button (he doesn't hear me unless I have the button pressed). Again, this has reduced my anxiety and has been able for me to see when he needs help with the CPAP machine, for example.
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