The thermostat was recently replaced in my 80 y/o mom's house. My mom has a fixation with it. She calls me multiple times during the day, typically 5x, every day, to ask what temp setting should she adjust the thermostat to. She has anxiety about adjusting the setting, always wants to adjust the setting, and always asks for direction, despite me telling her, it is up to her, and her comfort level. We do not reside under the same roof. She can adjust "up", if she is cold, and "down" if she is too warm. She cannot grasp this, despite repeated instructions, diagrams, notes, etc. (from myself and two technicians). The techs told me the thermostat is the most "basic" one they have and the pre-programmable one is more complicated. Also, due to some underlying medical condition, my mom is either cold or quickly gets hot. She adjusts the settings AGAIN, after I tell her not to, and often wants to change the setting after a few minutes. A commenter here suggested a thermostat I can adjust from my phone or a type of box placed over it so she cannot touch the settings. I have to find a solution. The incessant calling is stress-inducing. I am at my wit's end. I know this is just the beginning, in terms of daily tasks she will not be able to perform.

Totally agree with lisah.... my 96 year old mother would still be fiddling with it had her AL not installed a lock box around it awhile ago.

You can purchase a digital thermostat (the cost can range between $35-$100, for the unit) that you can easily connect to your smart phone, then lock the exterior keypad with a code (you can purchase these units via Amazon.com, Home Depot, Menards, etc.). You controll the settings directly from your phone with a simple to use free app. I did this for my Dad who has vascular dementia. We don't live together and he was turning on the heat in the summer, the air conditioner in the winter, fiddling with the fan, and sometimes turning the system off. I am able to qickly log into the app whenever I'd like and make any changes between heat, air conditioning and fan settings. Something to consider just to make things a smidge easier for you.

I have a question - why on earth are you putting up with this? You do NOT deserve this and you must NOT tolerate it. You must unplug everything and put locks on anything he might tinker with. Take similar steps with other items. Nothing you do or say wills stop him - it will get worse. So it is time for YOU to decide how much more you can and will take before you lose your sanity and what tiny hope you have for normal life. If it is "that time", and it will get much worse, you must consider placing him somewhere unless you can afford a caretaker to watch him in your down hours. This cannot continue - there is no other way I know how to supervise and control dementia patients. They do NOT belong with a family where they will ultimately destroy everything and everyone. And as to thermostats, I cannot stand too be hot - I can't breathe, I sweat, my heart is irregular - I am MISERABLE. I MUST HAVE IT COOL OR EVEN COLD. I can't peel off my skin and walk around in a sleeveless cool top. People who are cold can put on more clothes. And if they are just sitting watching t.v., a warm heating pad on their lap does wonders. They will be warm and you will feel comfortable. Believe me - it works - I have tried it.

Lock box on the thermostat will prevent him from changing it.

Hide all remotes, etc.

Perhaps a programmable thermostat would help. That was you can set the thermostat ahead of time and he can't alter it?

In the Alzheimers Store, the have "toys" for men who liked to do things around the house. Perhaps you could give him something else to fiddle with? Besides all the other suggestions.

As my husband's physical and mental challenges increase, I have come to realize that the quality of MY life depends on MY ability to learn to focus on the moment, the day.....and not look back to what was, or project ahead to what may come. It's hard work, but worth the effort. Meditation helps, good friends and family for emotional support, and searching out ALL resources available to me. I quickly spiral down into a state of guilt and remorse when I don't do this.......I feel AWFUL when I treat my husband to my sarcasm and I see the hurt in his eyes. It may not be "fair", but nothing in life is. It isn't "fair" that my husband doesn't have good health. MY ATTITUDE is what is in my control.....and NO ONE but myself can influence that!

We have a thermostat that you can actually take off of the wall. Perhaps you could have one like that installed. Also, As far as the TV being changed, what if you simply remove the remotes before going to bed? Set the TV on a channel Charlie enjoys most and just leave it on for him. I am the Coordinator at an Adult Day Service and totally understand your frustration. It's so much easier for someone not directly involved to see clear, simple solutions. I would also suggest joining an Alzheimer Support group either on line or in person. They can have a plethora of wonderful ideas.

Lyndee, for a week or so keep a food diary of what your Mom eats, see if any type of food/drink makes her feel warm. Chocolate use to give me hot flashes :P

Lendee, buy shawls, throws, and blankets. Tuck her in and make her feel special. Keep the thermostat reasonable. Warm wool socks help, too. It's easier to bring a warm environment to them than heat the house to 80 or 90 degrees!

The only comment is "It will get worse." Has he started to wrap brownies up in a wet dishrag, stuff it into a bowl cover and push it to the back of the pantry cabinet, to be found a few weeks later, covered in mold? Or started firing all sorts of dishes, mugs, clothes into the trash? Or trying to brush his teeth with a comb, combing his hair with a bunch of toothpaste on the toothbrush? Yes, sometimes it is just so hilarious, that it is just not possible to have a laugh about it. Just keep reminding him that you love him, even when he's totally "ditzy" and one of these days, you will know when it's time to move him to a higher level of care than you will be able to master. At that point, try to keep him "in the loop" as well as you can with photos, reminiscences, news, until you see that they are no longer registering. Then continue the human touch--hugging, kissing, massaging head and neck, combing hair, his favorite type of music (great music channels on TV), telling him how cute he still is, and how much you still love him. Trying to stay engaged emotionally is the hardest, but you will have fewer regrets when you know you did your best. That's all any of us can do...

My Momma was recently diagnosed with having Dementia. Her own body thermostat is very wacky. Some days she is froze to the bone while other days she is hot. We are in Winter here. I'm the one that lives with her and pays for our fuel a month. I try to keep our thermostat at 70 during the winter months, but her ever changing body temp is unnerving to me. Is this fluctuation in her own body one of the many occurrences that go with Dementia? I don't know a whole heck of a lot about this disease, since every body and every brain is different, I truly don't know what to expect with my Momma. She just turned 86 yrs old on New Year's Day.

Mrs Powers: I loved your story about Charlie, the thermostat and tv/netflix. I did get a chuckle out of it even though I know it wasn't funny to you at the time. Keep up your stories. Happy New Year to both of you.

Thermostat problem here too. I have an eBay account. You list Charlie and I'll list my mother and between our earnings, we should be able to take a cruise -- on them. God bless.

My DH is always freezing. I'm sweating. He's comfortable in the house at 78 degrees. My hair is wet with sweat. I give him a soft Warm blanket and dress him in fleece. He still wants the fireplace going all day. I step outside in 30 degree weather to cool off. Just one of the many trials and tribulations of our current life together. 😟

We put in a Wifi thermostat for my cousin. As soon as she and her husband would leave for work, her mom would turn the tstat up. Wifi tstat are pricey, but they are happy with it. We have put them in for a few customers that have the same problem.

I didn't know about the lock boxes, not a problem - well, most of the time, it's not a problem. Now, I hope I can remember the solution when needed. thank you

Marlis, very funny story. We were caring for someone with dementia and she kept her thermostat so high that when I would walk it into her apartment, I had to remove not only my coat but my sweater. It was embarrassing to go and visit one of my patient and have to excuse myself from being too hot and sweating. Once we started caring for her, we were able to adjust the thermostat just right.

get on of those lock covers for the thermostate, and you keep the key.

What a good sense of humor you have! I keep trying to keep it but don't always achieve my goal. On the thermostat problem, can you put tape over the adjustment button or knob ,, enough that would perhaps frustrate him and he would leave it alone?? My husband has started making a noise from his throat,, driving everyone nuts. I now am telling him , with a smile on my face, that I'm going to hook up my hair dryer ,, he hates that noise. He smiles but knows what I mean . Good luck - life is sure a surprise and I'm only in this alz life for a year and half . moanddo

You can get a clear lockbox that encompasses the themostat that requires a key to get at the thermostat to fiddle with it.

My father-in-law would do the direct opposite. He would turn it up as high as it would go so it was 85+ degrees in the house. He would sleep all the time and was completely confused. My husband left the old thermostat was it was and disconnected the old one. Put a new thermostat in where his dad could not see it and set it on a normal temperature. His dad has not figured out that he can still play with the thermostat all he wants, but he is not controlling the temp. anymore. We have seen a drastic change in my father-in-law's alertness since the new thermostat has been installed.

Oh, gosh. I can so relate to this post. My (almost) 93 year old mother with advanced dementia is constantly "losing" things and always thinks we either have them in our home or someone has moved or misplaced them. Yesterday she "lost" her makeup bag so she called us twice (didn't remember the first call 1 1/2 hrs prior) and said she must have left it in our house on Christmas. She did not, of course. So, when I was there today I asked if she found it and she said she had. I asked where she typically kept it (the bathroom) and then said I didn't see it there so did she know where it was. It was in the seat portion of her walker - unbelievable! Anyway, as Marlis says, they don't know what they don't know and the best you can do is keep that in mind and a sense of humor, if possible. Happy New Year, all!

I would invest in a lock box that goes around the thermostat so that he can't get to it to change it. Easy solution for just a few dollars.

Well, - at least heat is optional at your house. That's something. I live in HUD housing for seniors. I did not know when I moved in here in June, that I was moving into a chimney neatly disguised as clean air until...four months later when the AC was turned off. Immediately all communal areas (halls, elevators) were filled with second hand smoke. I keep the ventilation closed and cannot turn the heat on as that would suck the smoke right into my apartment! I have no money to move again and it does no good to report my complaint i.e. I have asthma and am forced to inhale 2nd hand smoke. There! Lotsa luck, Marlis! When you get REALLY exasperated w yr. heat situation just think of me in a Michigan winter with no heat. I have to choose between breathing and inhaling other people's smoke habit. Nice, eh? This is mac, who loves writing also ?@@?

I didn't read through all 152 comments, so if someone already suggested this, my apologies. A programmable thermostat might solve your problem while allowing Charlie his dignity. If he goes to bed at 1 or 2 or 3 in the morning, you can set the thermostat to automatically reset to whatever temperature you want it to be at say, 4:00 am. If he changes it, it would only be that way for a couple of hours or so, short enough a time so no damage is done. If you program it to not be allowed to change at all, that might frustrate him. But if he changes it and goes to bed peaceful, happy and feeling whole because he knows he's done his job putting down the house for the night, at least for this issue everyone will be happy.

My mom would have tv blaring when first moved in. I bought earphones, she would not wear them. I now tell her I can't find remote but have also put tape over sound etc I don't want her to touch. Not sure about thermostat. Mom would do that also. I came home and house cold. She did same thing and I had to tape it also. No problem so far. The grossest thing I had happen was one day heard water running and went into her br and she had emptied Bsc with poop into bathtub. I guess she thought she was helping----ugh!

Obviously shoulve have read "Didn't even have to tell her about it."

Hi, Marlis. This is the first of your posts I've read. Hang in there! I imagine the issues are harder when you're caring for a spouse. I remember the TV, the telephone dialing, and scariest of all the stove burners when I began caring for my little mother. After she decided to walk a couple of miles to town one day, I solved the problem by installing small motion alarms on the front door. Didn't even have to tell you about it. Then, I put another one beside her bed to alert me when she got up and needed help in the bathroom. It took a while to learn everything I needed to know to keep her comfortable and happy.