Well I hope you get to make your much needed trip. My only question is why add to your anxiety and stress level by planning a trip from New England right in the middle of winter? As it is it a Noreaster is hitting NE right now. With another storm on Monday.

You take the trip when weather isn't going to be an issue in the fall or spring.

Why add more stress to an already stressful situation, worrying about whether or not your flight will be canceled due to bad weather?

Keep the schedule and get that needed respite. I am planning one from the Parkinson's husband in August with my sister and a couple friends.

For many reasons I didn't think hubby would do well with my respite of 7 days. I was very wrong, all he needed to hear was that I would be home soon. Good enough, and then after a day or so he didn't ask any more and enjoyed the full attention of my awsome brother. IBS is miserable, (mine cured with adjusting my thyroid meds) take your survival foods and ENJOY your trip. Husband will be fine and you will be refreshed with the change of scenery.

My husbands daughter took him to SC for a week three years ago, they stayed at her sons, months later she told me that had she known what a traumatic event this would be for HER and her children, she never would have done it. At that point in Alzheimers no one would have known to look and talk to him that there was anything really wrong with him. He could use a cell phone then and would call me, which was fine. He did not know where he was, or where I had gone & he wanted me to come get him. Then one night around midnight he called that someone took his wallet, daughter did not know he was on the phone, let alone with me, and she came into that bedroom like Hitler, screaming at him to stop going through all the drawers and closets, she had had enough of his crap, then realized he was holding his phone, she took it, he yelled no, and tried to be real sweet as to what was going on. Now she's an RN, and she couldn't handle him, I told her to get him back home ASAP and I did not appreciate the way she was treating her father. Well we have seen her maybe 3 times since, when she would take him to lunch, like Marlis says he was glad to be able to go out with her, but when he came back I went through hell for the next two to three days, and this happened every time he saw her. I have stopped the visits unless I'm there, but she's all but forgotten about him anyway, no more visits, no outings. And we are much better off for it. Sometimes we think we are leaving the person we love in good hands, my husband on that trip put a kitchen chair by the front window waiting every minute for me to come back home. I won't ever do that to him again, I missed two Granddaughters wedding last year ( west coast) I hate that, but as much as we hate to admit it Alzheimers Disease has taken control of our lives also.

Just wanted to correct, I meant to write 3-4 times/wk, not per day. That, my friends, would be heaven.

I'm with you, Marlis. My husband is a quadriplegic, and so many things can go wrong with his care and his needs. However, he is completely clear, mentally, which makes for better communication. I've been caring for him for 8 years and I know how truly lonely that is. I do errands alone, stay up late with chores alone, everything alone, all the time. I do have respite services and I hope when you get back, if you haven't already, you will try to get that benefit from the feds and state programs that should be available to you. It is the only program we qualify for, and we pay for everything else ourselves. There is a reasonable co-pay, and sometimes when our regular worker is no longer with the company it takes some time to find someone suitable, but it has been a good program for me. His care is very complicated, so the respite doesn't do anything hands-on, but can do little duties around the house and keep him comfortable and companionship. That doesn't fix the breakdown of my body in doing the physical work of transfers, dressing, etc., and I've had to hire for a couple of hours 3 or 4 times a day. That has cut into available funds to the point that I wouldn't be able to afford to go away, anyhow. I used to go, though. My mother passed away three years ago, and I miss her so much. I used to take care of her as much as possible, too, except that she lived far away and I would go a couple of times a year to stay a few days and see her, and see to her needs. I moved her twice and she was finally in a nursing home where they finished her off within 6 months. My grieving won't stop. But I know I was better for her than not. It was so hard to explain to her that I couldn't care for her here along with my husband. I didn't have it in me to see to the needs of both of them. When I would travel, I just took extreme measures so I wouldn't find myself in a bad situation. Same with IBS, etc. I had to stay in a hotel, but I made sure I enjoyed it. Long baths, good food, slept in. I hope you'll try some new remedies for your IBS when you can. I don't take medication, just management. My doctor prescribed the opposite you would imagine and it has really saved me from the symptoms I used to suffer. Just have to keep away from some foods when I'm not going to be at home. I know how confining and distressful it can be to worry about this. I hope you have a great trip, and that you pamper yourself in every way possible. Go for the luxury and indulge yourself like you wouldn't ordinarily do. You may feel exactly the same when you get home, but you'll have some photos, and some good memories, and you can start planning your next escape!

I think that all of us feel the same way at times. We have to take care of ourselves to so we do not suffer health problems like I have. It is hard to put ourselves first but necessary sometimes.

Who is taking care of Charlie while you are gone? Do you have people checking in on him? I haven't had a vacation from my husband since 2011. I really need a break. I am putting him in respite care at the VA Home for a week and spending a week at the beach this summer. I was happy to hear that the VA does this. It will cost me $1000 for the week, and it will be hard to scrape that money together. But it will be totally worth it. Even if I do worry about him all week. I need it for my sanity. My daughter is providing the week's stay at their vacation home.

I certainly can I identify with you, except it appears that I have a difficult time trying to get respite. I have missed 2 years of my spouse medical appts out of state. I have requested two years for respite to take him to his appt, and the case manager's reason it that its difficult to get respite in a Dementia facility during the summer, because everybody request respite during those times and its hard to find a bed. So I asked for a Homeshare program to this day have not gotten a contact person to put in a request. Also attempted to use a private person that does respite for a county agency however the respite program will not pay because she is not licensed by the state although the respite program gets their monies from fundraising under the auspacies of the Alzheimers Program.
You see I am the only person to care for my 93 year old mother, There are other siblings rather just 3 of us left. A brother thousands miles away and an older sister about 1300 miles away and she's 72 years old and needs her son to care for her due to her disability. I had to go get my mother from New York, to bring her South to care for her fortunately I have worked as a Case Manager myself and was quite aware of how to access services for her. She attends a day program so I do get a break from 730am to 400pm 3xs per week. I really need to go back to work because I still owe for student loans. I am so discouraged.

Marlis Charlie will be cared for by someone who loves him too.
Your batteries have to be recharged. As you well know the end of this journey is not clearly defined nor can it be. You will be with people who love and understand your health problems and will be happy to accomodate your dietery needs. I too have an explosive gut and if I am fearful pop on the pull ups or two pairs if necessary. Have a wonderful trip and don't worry about Charlie. Any thing that may happen to him while you are away could happen if you stay home. God Bless and keep you both

Oh Marlis, what a good wife you are. May the Lord bless and keep you safe on your well deserved vacation. And may the Lord also bless Charlie in your absence.!!