Love this article! So much truth and well spoken thoughts to make us all take a second look "inside". A lesson I learned from my several dementia patients that Leanne's words bring right to the surface. It's the moment that counts, reality is in the eyes of the beholder. Make it a good moment.

Hear Hear!!

Each day, my 87 year old mother thanks me for all I do for her. She never gets angry with me when I become frustrated with her repetitious questions or her inability to make simple decisions. She. understands, to the degree she can with her dementia, the burden she has become since moving in with my husband and myself. However, I am determined to give her the best life possible and the dignity she deserves. Was she the perfect mother when I was growing up? No, but being a mother of two grown sons myself, I can demonstrate to them what it means to be a greatful and loving child for the sacrifices our parents have made. None of us is perfect but we do what we are capable of doing to help our loved ones manage the challenges of dementia . Seeing my mother decline in her cognitive abilities has been a such a sad experience for me. However, my mom shows me every day how to be strong and thankful for every blessing. Anyone who cares for a loved one with dementia knows too well the emotional and sometimes physical stress which has become a constant in thief life. Learn to be kind to yourself and accept help whenever it's offered. My friend told me recently, that by taking care of my mother I'm doing god's work. I like to think about those words when I have self pity days.

An excellent tribute to your parent. I'm glad you have been blessed.

It was a beautiful commentary from a loving daughter to a mother. I wouldn't read anything more into it. :)

Hmm. I can remember lots of times my mother complained. And sometimes it was about us kids. I don't ever remember a complaint about getting pregnant, from either Mother or Dad. Not even for the 7th and last late-life baby. But other things? Oh yes, she was not above complaining about a politician or a neighbor or getting the wrong thing in a catalog order.

My children will certainly never be able to say "I don't remember Mom complaining" (unless they develop serious memory problems.) I suspect they will remember me as a problem solver, but they can't claim I never complained about the problem while I was fixing it.

But here's the thing. My siblings and I cherish our mother, hate her dementia, and do all we can to make her feel comforted and loved. Whether she was the perfect embodiment of uncomplaining love is beside the point. She was a wonderful mother. She did her best. We love her.

I hope my kids don't measure me against some standard of perfection when deciding if I'm worthy of care in my old age. :)

I cared for my husband on his 10-year dementia journey. I can't say I never complained about it or other things. But it certainly gave me a very different perspective on what was important, and how much psychic energy it can take just to complain.

Very nice article. One day at a time . Try to find laughter and joy in each day. :-)

One word...POWERFUL.
Thank you for writing and sharing this. I didn't know there were different kinds of dementia. I will have to look into that in regards to my mother-in-law. Thanks again.
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This is a beautiful story, and I feel the same way about my loved one with dementia. The resonated with me.

It was a joy to read this! What a positive attitude and no doubt she learned that from her Mom. God bless you both!

That is a wonderful blog and brought tears to my eyes because of the absolute love that radiated from each word. The love for a woman who truly had earned the care from her family.