I know that trying to take these steps with individuals who suffer with a mental illness (or perhaps symptoms of paranoia/delusions due to Dementia) is a completely different thing. I am sorry to hear about your struggles!
I approached both patience in the kindest, most reasonable manner possible when they were BOTH hospitalized this past Spring. Mom for exhaustion for dealing with a sisters death and for caring for my N dad. Dad LAYED on the couch so many mo this watching weaterns bro g waited on hand and foot because of "pain" and denial of COPD/emphazema coughing up phlem, that he passed out with pneumonia two days after having a minor stroke, in which he went back home after of course. I was very reasonable and thoughtful in my suggestion of them selling some property that causes mom to work constantly and they could buy the lake land they takes about for years and retire. This brought on that I was brainwashed by the Navy, wanted to take all they had and put him in a home. After that statement, it was tempting. I would have been willing to help them in the transition. But, instead they decided both at at 71 to keep pushing lien they are 20. They coma in about pain and dealing with people, and are having memory loss as well and questionable financial issues upcoming now since Dad doesn't respect our government and how they request tax payments according to law. Just waiting and staying in the clear for now for the other shoe to drop I guess. They " have it under control and I ow what they are doing" as they say. Ugh!!!!
This approach would NEVER work for my bi-polar, Narcissist, BPD mother. You got to be kidding! First of all she doesn't even let me get in a "oh really". She talks non-stop unleashing her guilt and self pity guns. Interrupting that brings on ranting, shouting, temper tantrum, worse monologuing, and then that's usually followed by an ER call. No thanks! I wish this were possible. But actually this never was etiher. You must be talking about more "normal" families.
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4 Steps for Easing Into Conversations about Aging
I was very reasonable and thoughtful in my suggestion of them selling some property that causes mom to work constantly and they could buy the lake land they takes about for years and retire. This brought on that I was brainwashed by the Navy, wanted to take all they had and put him in a home. After that statement, it was tempting. I would have been willing to help them in the transition. But, instead they decided both at at 71 to keep pushing lien they are 20. They coma in about pain and dealing with people, and are having memory loss as well and questionable financial issues upcoming now since Dad doesn't respect our government and how they request tax payments according to law.
Just waiting and staying in the clear for now for the other shoe to drop I guess. They " have it under control and I ow what they are doing" as they say. Ugh!!!!