I have just recently started work in a nursing home as part of a team of social events co-ordinators, caring for older people with varying stages of AD. I've found too that positive happy times have a brilliant effect on all of them, and I'm looking for more ways to help bring feelings of usefulness and fun into their lives. I love to see the way their eyes light up when they're engaged in activities. I so love my job

The hardest thing is to keep the love shining through when you or another loved family member becomes a target. Right now I have decided that the most loving thing to do is to take the attitude of a caregiving professional, and not expect him to treat me like his daughter. He doesn't know how anymore.

My family and I are trying to gain more information about AD and how to interact with my sister who has recently had to reside at a memory care facility. This information is hopefully going to be helpful. No one offered any advice, just that she needed to be institutionalized. The transition was a nightmare. We were all traumatized. There should be a smoother method of transition in these cases.
Thank you for all your articles, especially those related to AD.
An avid reader.

my aunt and i just spent a year taking almost daily rides in the country in my little truck . at this point she doesnt remember ever riding in the truck but somewhere in her mind she remembers that we made one h*ll of a connection and she is always happy to see me . perhaps arnie is most accurate in that edna dont remember the details she just associates my face and my kindness with a bunch of positive experiences . maybe it goes even deeper than that . a female friend stopped in to see edna with me one day and edna said no one told her that i got married but she was quick to remind " betsy " that i was still her ( ednas ) boyfriend . if she enjoys that fallacy theres nothing in the world i would do to spoil it for her .
she doesnt remember trike riding with me years ago either but she always recognizes the sight of the trike like its an old and dear friend .

To paraphrase Maya Angelou, they may not remember who you are or what you do but they remember how you make them feel.

I have a friend whose mother passed away about 10 years ago. She had been a victim of Alzheimer's and eventually was put into a nursing home. Knowing that she didn't have much time left in this world, my friend took her mom home to live with her. Even with her sweet husband's help it was a challenge, as caregivers of advanced AD sufferers know all too well. Living in a rural area, Cindy had to be constantly on guard lest Mom wander off into the woods as she was inclined to do every chance she got.

Cindy was at her mother's bedside during her last moments on earth when a miracle occurred: Her mother's mind became whole again, she took on the demeanor of a fully aware individual, recognized her daughter and told her how much she loved her! They were able to affirm their love for each other before Mom passed peacefully into eternity.

In spite of all outward appearances, they are still there, a whole spiritual being trapped in a failing body and brain. As the saying goes: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." (attributed to Pierre Teilhard de Chardin)

Heart Memories

I remember you with my heart.
My mind won’t say your name.
I can’t recall where I knew you;
Who you were
Or who I was.

Maybe I grew up with you,
Or maybe we worked together,
Or did we bowl together yesterday?
There’s something wrong with my memory,
But, I do know you.

I know I knew you
And I do love you.
I know how you make me feel;
I remember the feelings we had together.

My heart remembers.
It cries out in loneliness for you,
For the feeling you give me now.
Today, I’m happy that you have come.

When you leave,
My mind will not remember
That you were here,
But my heart remembers.

Remembers the feeling of friendship
And love returned.
Remembers
That I am less lonely
And happier today,
Because you have come.

Please don’t forget me;
And please don’t stay away
Because of the way my mind acts.

I can still love you.
I can still feel you.
I can remember you with my heart;
And a heart memory is maybe
The most important memory of all.

Aligned to bookluvr I also have a dad that always puts a superiority attitude first. Demeaning suspicious like a spoiled rottened kid. Sometimes it hurts so bad you want to withdraw. Is continuing to love him all the time right? Might be best for caregiver to act like cnn rather than a son!

Loving, regardless the temperament or condition, is one of the most important tried and true recipes alive (thanks)!:D

I grew up with no affections, hugs or positive reinforcements from our parents. My dad told me that the reason they had children was to take care of them when they got old. He truly believes that we're obligated to put our lives on hold to take care of him (and mom when she was alive.) He is very authoritative, demanding, etc....

When I saw that video a few weeks ago, I was soooo envious of what they had. You can see the love shining through. It made me realize that I can improve myself by making it a point to touch my dad's legs when I pass by. Smile to him when I pass by. Talk softly to him. Then we blow up and argue. This article just reinforces to me to continue to be nice to him - even though he keeps saying, "SOMEONE is taking my money." I figured, in the meantime (before he calls the cops and accuses me), I will continue to show positiveness to him.