I am so sorry for the other person's experience with her husband and understand the view.
I am of a different perspective here. I want the ability to refuse sustenance and have seen people in Memory Care prodded and cajoled into eating when they refused. It angers me that the staff where my father, who has clearly expressed he is "tired and doesn't want to be around any more" continue to make a big deal over getting him to the table and eating, and giving him protein shakes when he refuses the food. He's pretty easy to care for as he sleeps most of the time but they seem focused on keeping him alive. At $400 a day for a little room a bed, and a shared bathroom, while Medicare provides the nurses, incontinence supplies and showers him twice a week, it's easy money for them.
He is in the final stage of Alzheimer's and clearly frustrated with his quality of life. This is not what he wanted, as we already went through this with my mother when her DNR was ignored and she suffered a prolonged death from a stroke that took 2/3 of her brain capacity, leaving her in exactly the condition she feared most for the end of her life, crippled, bedridden, and unable to speak.
I wish I had known about this for him when we were still able to discuss it. I will be making sure to get this addition to my Living Will done.
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eeewww- I t hink it needs very specific language to be crafted before this should becomes choice. The decision to refuse food and drink to end your own life is one thing but we are not ready yet I do not think with the state of the medical professionalism in the country so degraded and exhibiting ver little compassion or concern for patients or the families. to allow facilities doctors or anyone other than the person themselves to be allowed to make these choices. My husband was in a rehab facility that was doing just that because they demmed his life as having no quality. no one discussed it with me and i was more than horrified when finallt the funding came through to at least bring him home on hospice at the state he was in. I had to feed him and be very careful with bite sizes and help hold the cup so he could drink but he ate and was very hungry for several days after i brought him home. I do not like to even think about it I get so enraged that they thoought it was their place to decide he should die and starve him todeath.
They knew he could not feed himself and they would put the tray of food by the bed and leave it thencome take it away as though he just did not want it. Cruel. i wish i could starve them see how they like it.
As much as I support end of life decisions and believe in assisted suicide this is not an area we should allow for yet. sorry but human beings are creepy and unkind by and large given half a chance we treat one another horribly it is shocking what i have heard and seen since covid preveted us from being able to check on our family in hospitals and live in facilities. There are places raking in money and for all intents and purposes killing the patients they feel are hard to deal with or too much work. Sadly they are more worried about the covid than the atrocities taking place in the name of safety for staff.
Sorry I am not paranoid my experience and some others i spoke with are very real.
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