I am a hired caregiver for a alzhem. patient, How do I deal with the constant budding in of grandson

I agree that these tips would work IF there was an ounce of civility coming from the older brother when it comes to Mom. I live 5 hrs away and he and younger brother who has POA make it hard for me or our sister who is a few hours away from them, to have visitation with Mom and have now decided to tighten up restrictions on me and my older daughter, don't know if it applies to sister, from taking her out. Now they have to call POA brother to ask for permission. Older brother and I had 'words' right before this and told me he was going to the nursing home to see Mom. And I know it's not a coincidence that all of a sudden this restriction was put in place. He's a vindictive bully who has told me on a prior visit in a quest to keep my sister and me away, saying that 'whenever you or sister leave from a visit with Mom, brother and I have to fix her'!! Really-fix her!! His words. That hasn't stopped me though. He's a bully-they are all bullys, so we don't talk. Mom has her right mind and talks to me about what is going on there. We all 4 siblings never really got along growing up. Older brother used to molest us all and mom never believed he'd do it and all kinds of jealousy issues. Never will be settled. Anyway, in a perfect world these tips would work, but it's not in mine.

These tips could work well for some but I've found no middle ground with my sibling. I cared for my 98 year old mother for ten years until he took over POA (I was POA since 1993) with mom signing papers. Last year he cut me out of mothers care completely, I could not get any info from medical staff at her nursing home, doctors would not speak to me. Mother would get ill and I was in the dark and helpless in trying to alleviate her misery. Doctors and my Sibling made terrible decisions medical and drug wise due to not knowing her history and would not talk or listen to me about what could help and what would cause harm.
Poor mother has suffered and is now in hospice. I've gone to court to try to regain the power to be her legal representative again only to have my sibling use false allegations/hearsay about my character and mental health and convinced the court that I'm unfit.
My mother allowed my brother to take over POA and could not believe her own son could be so underhanded. She had chances to say she would like me to be her POA again but never could do it and chose my sibling yet again. I've witnessed his undue influence but mothers voice and the courts were silent.
I cry that I couldn't affect change and give her a better exit from life. It will have to be what it is. I have been so hurt by my sibling and so sad to be shunned by those that care for her, even hospice won't speak to me. All siblings orders.

My sister is an out of state social worker but helped me find a local LCSW for my mother's arrangements and an LCSW for my own stress therapy.

My sister has 5 sons and currently lives with one of them. He is divorced, and his ex-wife has convinced the other brothers that he is not taking good care of my sister. Recently she visited one of them and he and his wife thought she needed to be in an assisted living facility (ASL). They refused to let the caregiving brother take her home and transferred her to an ASL in her home city without his knowledge. He found out where she was and brought her back home where she told me she could "get on with her life". She was not ready to be placed there and wanted to be free to see her grandchildren and friends in her community, to be able to attend upcoming weddings and luncheons.

These brothers who are not living in her city do not respond to emails, have blocked their phones from accepting my calls. I have tried to be an objective person, not taking sides, but they feel I have taken the caregiver's side because I communicate with him. He is under a lot of stress, has his own medical problems, and is responsible for taking care of my sister's financial deals in two cities. Fortunately, some of her extended family in her community are helping to care for her. Would appreciate any advice on how to achieve family unity again.

Sister got mom to not have anything to do with 1 brother and myself. Brother sends money monthly (cash) to mom, but mom never responds to him. Sister opens the mail (mom doesn't go outside). Brother is doing what he wants to do for mom and never questions her about money. I, myself, has sent flowers on Mother's Day and her birthday and now, there is not even a thank you. Haven't talked to mom in over 1.5 years as she no longer wants to have anything to do with me. Sister is narcissistic and lies, even tried to clean out mom's closets while mom was in the hospital with pneumonia (at the same time was diagnosed with early dementia). For my own health, I have distanced myself from both of them. I like peace and happiness and all my sister did was want to take over. She did and it's ok, because now I don't have to deal with her, but when she wants money, she wants it now.

Wouldn't work with my two brother's (I've tried for years... one in the US; one in CA)... They're both/all "too busy" with their jobs, lives (as opposed to I don't have one ... in their minds)... and, make themselves conveniently transparent. It's a no win situation.

Mom was diagnosed w/Alzheimer's 10 months ago. As her DPOA & only child, I called a meeting w/our children & their spouses. We unanimously agreed upon what was best for Mom, based on our daily observations and medical advice. While placing Mom in a dementia facility was the hardest thing I have ever done, I was viciously attacked by a cousin and an ex-sister-in-law, both of whom yield undue influence with Mom. Providing them w/Mom's history and medical information, they both chose to continue with the assaults. Ironically they are both nurses! After months of misery, uncontrolled BP and ultimately a breakdown, I have chosen to remove them from my life. Our family has been permanently severed; cousins no longer speaking, aunts & uncles losing nieces & nephews. Sometimes you can do everything right, sacrificing your own health, mental & emotional well being, and still fail. From my heart, I urge you to simply walk away, knowing that you are NOT a bad person, but have acted responsibly.