Early in my husband's dementia journey I asked his neurologist, with him present, "What about alcohol?" I wanted to be sure that Coy heard the message straight from the doctor, and not from me. To my surprise the doctor replied that he should keep it to no more than 2 drinks a day, and watch for any effects such as worsening balance problems. (Coy was not driving at this point.)
Later Coy's geriatrician gave pretty much the same guidelines.
I think in both cases the doctors were not so much thinking of the health benefits of wine as they were the pleasure of having the drinks. Dementia deprives people of so much that can't be helped, when we don't have a good evidence and a firm reason for a deprivation, let's not add it to the heap!
Coy really loved having a beer when he had bratwurst, and ordering wine at a restaurant. After a while it was more about remembered pleasure than actual pleasure at the time. He often left most of his beer or wine at a restaurant. The pleasure was in being able to order it, in being seen as "normal," and in tasting some of it. He didn't need a full glass for that, let alone two!
Last Thanksgiving I wanted him to come to the dining room to eat with me. (We'd had a big family gathering a few days earlier.) He resisted, said he was too tired, wanted to eat in his recliner. But when he saw the table all set with the good china and a wine glass he perked up and changed his mind. We had a pleasant meal and he went to bed. That was his last glass of wine. He died a week later. I am so glad that a drink now and then was not yet another pleasure he'd been deprived of.
Let's hear it for doctors who care about their patients' happiness!
Thank you Marlis this article was an eye opener and has sent me off in a new direction. Lots of research to do now Thank goodness for the Internet and people like you generous enough to share your knowledge. Charlie is a lucky man to have you in his life
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Dementia and the One Drink Rule
Special hugs as you approach the first anniversary of Coy's death.
Later Coy's geriatrician gave pretty much the same guidelines.
I think in both cases the doctors were not so much thinking of the health benefits of wine as they were the pleasure of having the drinks. Dementia deprives people of so much that can't be helped, when we don't have a good evidence and a firm reason for a deprivation, let's not add it to the heap!
Coy really loved having a beer when he had bratwurst, and ordering wine at a restaurant. After a while it was more about remembered pleasure than actual pleasure at the time. He often left most of his beer or wine at a restaurant. The pleasure was in being able to order it, in being seen as "normal," and in tasting some of it. He didn't need a full glass for that, let alone two!
Last Thanksgiving I wanted him to come to the dining room to eat with me. (We'd had a big family gathering a few days earlier.) He resisted, said he was too tired, wanted to eat in his recliner. But when he saw the table all set with the good china and a wine glass he perked up and changed his mind. We had a pleasant meal and he went to bed. That was his last glass of wine. He died a week later. I am so glad that a drink now and then was not yet another pleasure he'd been deprived of.
Let's hear it for doctors who care about their patients' happiness!