Wondering why people with Alzheimer's don't opt to commit suicide shows you aren't familiar with the progression of the disease. First, you start forgetting things - senior moments that just get worse and worse. People around you see you going downhill, but you don't see it or believe it. Then, the next thing you know, you are in assisted living or memory care and your caregivers are in charge of everything. You are no longer mentally competent to choose suicide or assisted suicide, if you can even understand what that is. If you have decided before the disease has you to fill out a form indicating that you do not want to be fed or given fluids if you are unable to do it for yourself, that is not considered suicide and is legal in all states, as is do not resuscitate. You may also ask to be put into a coma, so that you won't suffer during the 9 - 14 days, the process takes. It isn't a religious or ethical question. It's the right to control your own life and time and manner of your own death.

This is one of the most hopeful caring articles I've read about the subject of mental decline. Thank you!

No matter what Suicide is murder. Murdering yourself. God says Thou shalt not murder. So the consequences of suicide far outweigh the terrible life an ill one has.

David Hilfiker is an idiot.

Or what if you attempt suicide, fail and are worse off than you were before. I think I may have told this story before but it bears repeating. An old friend of mine was an alcoholic and to be supportive I went with him to one of his AA meetings. He noticed a friend sitting in front of us and tapped him on the shoulder. The guy turned around and half his face and head were missing. He had attempted to kill himself with a gun and failed. So...............if you are going to try, make sure you can live with the consequences if you try and fail.

We perhaps underestimate how bad things have to get for a human animal, which is what we all are underneath, to choose death. As a comparison, the most militant pro-assisted suicide lobby I've noticed supports sufferers of Motor Neurone Disease; and the most vocal of those tend to be wealthy, educated, well-connected and self-respecting men.

And yet, and yet... when it comes to booking their place at Dignitas and actually getting on the plane, they don't.

I'm not saying, even as someone opposed to euthanasia, "yah boo sucks what a bunch of cowards" - what I'm saying is that this looks to me like there is something we only find out as we approach death that makes life look much more important, at no matter what cost. We hang on tight. We hang on for dear life.

I don't oppose the right of people to commit suicide. I strongly oppose their involving others in that choice; and one of the reasons for that is that I suspect that minds change and priorities alter, and taking decisions for a person based on their choices of three months, six months, eighteenth months prior is dangerous.

So if you want to kill yourself, crack on with it while you can. And if you choose not to, if you miss your chance, then that can only be because of your feeling that you're not done yet.

The trouble I have with this topic is we are only talking about suicide as it relates to Alzheimer's. If we made it okay to for Alzheimer's patients to take their own life, where would it stop? There are already people with A L S who have fought in court and won the right to take their own life while they are still physically able to. So, next comes Alzheimer's. Then what? I've suffered from some form of depression all my life. There have been many a time where I would have gladly ended my life. Does that mean one by one we go down the list of illnesses and justify why we should be allowed to take our own lives?

It's a slippery slope. While I sympathize tremendously with those who have watched their loved ones slip away slowly and painfully and have myself watched my Mom disappear in front of me, I can't help but feel that we need to really think long and hard about giving people the right to end their life. It might set a precedent that we are not prepared for.

My siblings want me to commit suicide so that my parents can live longer while they control their estate. I think Capitalism has reduced people of this country to this pathetic situation. They are no better than cannibals. And I think I will comply because I just can't live with this evil sh*t any more.

I HAVE IT. LOADED WITH DEPRESSION AND SOME ANG. THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT STAGE I AM AT, BUT I THINK IT IS 2. I MEET A VERY WONDERFUL WOMAN THAT I LOVE AND LIVE WITH, SO I WILL HANG AROUND AWHILE. I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THE WAY YOU SAID; THAT WHEN I GET BAD, I WILL DO WHAT I HAVE TO. I THINK ABOUT HER TAKING CARE OF ME AND MY MESS WHEN MY BODY LETS GO AND I DO NOT WANT HER TO GO THROUGH THAT. BUT YOU ARE CORRECT; I WANT TO BE WITH HER AS LONG AS I CAN WHILE THINGS ARE STILL KIND OF OK. SHE WILL GO TO HEAVEN FOR BEING WITH ME, THATS A GIVEN. THANKS!

As this is very related to the comment I just left regarding my opinion about the handling of UTI's in dementia patients, please read it! Obviously this is a very controversial issue, and probably could only be dealt with on an individual basis.

I want to add that I am in no way comparing a person's life with the value of money - I meant to speak more of the futility of it all...hope I didn't offend anyone (my fingers fly faster than my brain most of the time) ;)

What pains me most is that all the loving and happy memories of a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's or any debilitating disease will be decimated within the hearts of family caregivers. After years of dealing with ever increasing irrational behaviors, financial duress, stress, self sacrifice, and so forth associated with caregiving, very afraid the fond memories of a loved one fades. As caregiving drags on, who are we caring for? Someone who becomes more and more like a problematic total stranger..... Caregivers help ensure health and safety of the affect loved one, in effect extending the duration of the disease and allowing it to further debilitate the individual....

Can't make sense of this so only way to cope for a caregiver seems to trudge forward and NOT think about it. Keep reminding oneself that one chose to care for a loved one. That is why, in turn should I be afflicted I would not want any family member to go through such an ordeal. Not the memory of me that I want to leave them with....

I agree, Bewell - it doesn't make sense, does it? The western-medicine approach is to spare and prolong every life, no matter the cost. Pretty pathetic regarding the treatment of terminal illnesses, including Alzheimer's and advanced stage cancers, among others. To spend hundreds of thousands of dollars that may (or may not) buy you just a few months time, to me is morally and ethically wrong. Sometimes allowing nature to take it's course is the way to go, and if that road is too painful, then it should be an individual's decision how they want to leave this world...slowly and painfully, not giving up one day, or with the dignity we give our animals but can't (for whatever reason) give ourselves. Senseless.

Thank you all for raising the issue of suicide and sharing your experiences/thoughts on it. Having come half way around the world leaving my wife behind to care for my mother with dementia/Alzheimer's for 2+ years now, have definitely attributed to thinking about what I should/would do if I get the disease.

Ironic that our great nation the champion of freedom does not provide individual's the choice to legally/peacefully end their lives despite aging population with astronomical health costs. Understand many legal and moral complexities as well as "Do Not Resuscitate" option, but would be comforting to have avenue to peacefully end one's own life prior to debilitating diseases affecting mind/body to the point of becoming a total dependent invalid. Not trying to make any moral, religious, nor political statement, only voicing my personal thoughts. Just knowing I have option to die with dignity and some semblance of self, I feel would give me peace of mind that I do not become an unwanted burden to family and to society.

Wishing you good health.
BeWell

Suicide also nullifies most life insurance policies, so that might be a consideration... unless they are absolutely prepared to leave this world & won't be sticking it to their loved ones who will remain to tie up the loose ends.

Thank you ChristinaW! You sound like a wonderful and joyful person! Wishing you the best!

Wellington, there is no need to be defensive or assume people of empathy and compassion will hate you, nor any need to qualify your opinion. It's a free forum, and if that's your choice, I'm not going to talk you out of it. What did your grandfather die of? Many people die all sorts of ways. It's really weird to me if I spend time thinking about it, so I don't except when a question like this comes up.
I rather look at life as an adventure, including the physical as well as the everlasting spiritual experience. I'm not afraid to die, will hope I've squeezed every good moment I can out of it, then will take wing and fly to my next destination, free from bondage. I hope:) xo

I am not a Christian, so many, if not most of you, will find my following statement against God.

I watched my godfather die a horrible death when I was 17. Since I have been an adult I have belonged t some sort of organization that supports assisted suicide (the Hemlock Society and now to Compassionate Choices). I absolutely respect my mil's wish to live out her life, as I do everyone who chooses to do so, however, I want the option, without fearing the consequences for those that help me, to end my life when I am ready. I find it particularly hypocritical when people put God into it since my God is loving, understanding and has given us free will to determine what is right for ourselves...I know many of you will hate me because of this statement but what kind of people are we to hate others for their spiritual beliefs?

Most Christians believe that they will not go to Heaven if they commit suicide. (my opinion only.)

Every single living thing has a different length and quality of life cycle. I am a gardener, so liken it to flowers. Some live only a day, some live a few weeks, and the way each finishes it's duration is unique, and a mystery.
I see my Mother at 96 unable to talk, walk, extend her arms, not able to ask for anything or do anything for herself, my perception at first is: no quality of life.
Is that MY judgement to make? Not for her. I know her. She still loves to eat and to listen to music. I think she enjoys my visits. So, that is a lot compared to what some experience.
She has always been afraid to die or talk about it. I have tried to gently broach the subject over the last couple of years. Still, no go. It is between her soul and her higher power. I will see to her comfort the best I can by consulting with my higher power, my intellect and intuition, and medical experts. One day, her life cycle will be over. That's the way I look at it. It's part of a huge puzzle I cannot fathom. :) xo

I had an "off the wall" thought while reading "Still Alice" yesterday. I wonder how many brilliant scientists and mathematicians would take their lives if they knew they were stuck with MY brain, which has a corroded math circuitry board. I don't have Alzheimer's disease, but it gets often stuck when I have to visualize simple equations!
As I sit, watching my mother (once a verifiable, walking thesaurus) find delight in creating simple words with Scrabble pieces at my kitchen table, I know I wouldn't consider suicide either. Mom can't walk well, is blind in one eye and deaf in one ear. She can't knit, read at length, cook, sew, taste, garden, write poetry or follow a simple movie plot anymore.
But Mom and I have each learned to live our lives appreciating what we have ... not what we don't have.

Heartfelt thanks for this compassionate and clearly communicated perspective. God bless.

Well written article. I'm the care giver for my mother who is 89 and has dementia. She clearly sees and talks to people who are not there. Having a roaring conversation with them, she is outside of her depressive mood when in that state. She also has a great will to live, fears death and would never consider suicide. Makes you wonder.

In Feb it was apparent that my mother needed a Memory Care Facility. She was wandering at night in and out of her Apt. My Step-father who was legally blind, extremely hard of hearing and had kidney issues, couldn't control her wandering or understand her delusional outbursts, which in hindsight I believe were brought on by an extremely bad UTI she had in Dec. She was sent to Nerologist who told my Step-father he believed she had Alzheimer's.

I found a Facility that would allow mom and her husband to stay together. We had an appointment on Feb 17 to go visit. I was going down to stay with them on Fri Feb 15 for the weekend. I talked to them Feb 14, they both seemed excited about the weekend.

On Fri when I was 5 minutes aways from the apt I recieved a call telling me my step-father was ill and couldn't get out of bed. Upon arrival my mothers assistant (she came in every morning) met us at the door, repeating my step-father was ill. We called 911, his blood pressure was just about non exisitant but he was conscious. I had bypassed the diningroom when I arrived going straight to the bedroom where everyone was. After calling 911 I went to get him something to drink. I thought the diningroom table looked cluttered. Well, there were 4 large bottles of pills (empty) on the table along with tax papers and a note. All lined up very carefully. The letter from the neroligist was there also. Thinking his beloved wife had lost her mind (his words) was too much for my step-father to handle. I don't believe he ever ment to make it to the hospital, he never did make it out.

Mom has not talked about him since hes been gone. She knows he died but thinks it was a long time ago. For all intents and purposes she has shut down. She is now in the MC Facility. My step-father knew she would be taken care of physically and financially. Its just very very sad that he felt this was his last option.

I know for my mother (we are caring for dad, who's gone from probable Dementia, most likely FTD, to Mild Cognitive Impairment), seeing the potential costs coming up for him - who is a vet & has a reasonable amount of SS coming in - she says she doesn't want to do that to my family.

We never thought we'd be glad they had lost their home - they have no assets, the Life Insurance policy lapsed some unknown time ago (Dad handled that & lied to mom that there was a policy), and I am working 2 jobs to support my pre-teen son w/ no appreciable child support coming in. AKA, I haven't *any* extra long-term money. I help float my mom & dad, for gas & groceries, since they live with me - but I can't afford to just "give" her said funds.

Hence, she is very concerned about her future mental state. On the upside, her heart Dr is happy w/ her post heart-attack stats, and the only signs of dementia in her family appear to occur when in their 80s - she's just now turning 65 & lives much more healthy than her kin did.