Vvisitation does not have to occur at a funeral home. Houses of worship from all faiths usually have fellowship or parish halls. If a funeral will occur at a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple, why not have the visitation (and reception after the funeral) there? The article omitted an obituary as part of funeral planning. When I prepaid for my late husband's funeral and my own, we discussed the newspapers where the obituary would occur and I included that fee in the funeral preplanning. There should also be the opportunity to discuss (and prepay) for clergy, musician, and (if desired) live-streaming of a funeral service. It's also not a bad idea to pay for a funeral plot or niche in a columbarium in advance.
One point not mentioned was transportation should the family member no longer live in the area where their plan was arranged. For distances, that are drivable, local funeral homes will honor the prep work, included with the policy, but will charge $2 + per mile transportation to the plan's facility funeral home. Air fare, I have no idea, but worth checking out in advance so you know and can plan for.
We are fortunate in that none of our family has strayed too far from our ancestral roots. My dad's resting place is just down from my brother, and my grandparents and great grandparents are there too. There is an expectation in our little community about the way a funeral should be conducted and I find it comforting to follow that tradition. The reality today though is that families travel far from home, not just physically but in their beliefs and lifestyles. I think sometimes the oldest generation forgets that some of the things they take for granted such as the way they feel a funeral should be conducted are sometimes a mystery to the following generations. I know my nephews would not have a clue about our small town traditions, so as my generation dwindles I will make sure that they know where and how, and I already have insurance to cover the expense. I do believe however, that a funeral is for the living, that the planning of the service is a step in the grieving process, and that arranging everything down to the flowers and music robs the family of this. Years ago families prepared the body and laid them out in their homes, a final service to their loved ones. If there is truly no one who would be willing to take on that task then I would rather they skip the funeral altogether than participate in a sham tribute that has no truth for them.
For years I have been trying to get my Dad [93] to give me more information about his final resting place.... all I kept hearing was a cemetery in Iowa.... ok, thanks Dad for narrow it down :P
Finally late last year I gave Dad a large red notebook where I had sectioned off tabs for various things, such as Trusts/Wills, continuing care requests, etc. and had a bunch of questions in each tab for Dad to fill out. Bravo, at least now Dad said he found an ad for the funeral home in Iowa he wants me to use which had been used by other family members... at least it's a start... [sigh].
Unfortunately because of my own age decline traveling across county isn't going to happen... so once my parents pass, their trip via plane will be on their own with the funeral home meeting the plane, etc. Sadly I won't be able to attend the services at the cemetery. If only it was local. But I can understand my Dad wanting to be buried next to his parents, brother, and grandparents.
Yes, I put together a red notebook for myself with all my request, plus another notebook from the law firm that I had used for my Elder Law legal documents.
We do the funeral trust at our office, in Georgia (Metro Atlanta), {Decatur}, and I can send information to you.
The trust itself is already in place, so there is cost involved on forming one. We need to know the name of the person and age, & date of birth of the person covered.
Who can be covered?: Both spouses, and their children & Spouses.
There is no additional cost for the trust; only the amount to be put into the trust, (which qualifies as an Immediate MEDICAID spend down, In Georgia for example; up to $10,000 person can be set aside,
IT IS NOT SPECIFIC TO ANY FUNERAL HOME, for your protection, and no visit to a funeral home is required, It does not become owned by the Funeral Home, any excess funds revert to the estate, and it can be arranged with a valid Power of attorney, for an aging parent.
It is valid at any funeral home, so portability is not a problem, and the funeral home is not privy to the 'budget'.
It is not controlled by the funeral home and it is insured, so there is no possibility of loss of funds by a firm going bankrupt, or a change of management, or mismanagement.
A private funeral director fund in Wisconsin came up short $20 million in 2012.
Where would I go for a Funeral Trust? Attorney? Bank? This is very informative information.
I lost both my siblings and had to plan both their funerals; my parents weren't able to do it. Both were sick; neither had life insurance so my parents paid. Then my mom suddenly died, 5 mos after my sister. I did it again. Mom wasn't religious, and never wanted to discuss planning for herself or dad (bad karma). But dad, God bless him, wants to talk about it, plan everything. I spent all of last year getting his Army uniform up to regulation (42 years of service), now we're choosing an assisted living near me, but I want to protect his money to be able to have the big send-off he wants.
One thing regarding a Funeral Trust: Besides the fact it is not tied to specific Funeral home is the fact that it is Medicaid Exempt, so it preserves money that might otherwise be required to pay to a Nursing Home before Medicaid will qualify. The Funeral Trust is Medicaid Exempt for the spouses, and their Children & Spouses, and counts toward spend down. ( for those younger folks the portability is extremely important and it has conservative yearly growth
Thank you for opening this conversation! LONG before this was ok to do, my dad planned his own funeral, chose how his remains were to be handled and picked out the most ridiculous coffin he could (his last laugh).....then he paid for it all! I was saddened at first, thinking in my heart that no one should face that alone, least of all my shy dad, then I was at a loss between the time of death and the time of service...after all shouldn't the eldest child/only daughter being handling this? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS EMOTION & ENERGY during this anxiety ridden time? (step-monster never told us dad was in hospital and died then brought her boyfriend to dad's service--HIGH ANXIETY time) Then a few days later I was sobbing, so happy he loved my brothers and I enough to take care of all those final arrangements so we wouldn't have to. He knew his wife wasn't going to pay for a funeral and we would have been on the hook for the cost, he knew she wasn't going to share our written family history, any posessions or any of the million dollar insurance settlement, he knew everything about her and happened to die the day before he had appointment with attorney to rewrite will......So I say, and my brothers will agree that if you want to truly leave your children a happy memory, no matter if your family dynamics are - great or greatly flawed - plan and pay for (if you can) your own final wishes.......At the very least, please write or record somehow your detailed final wishes as each and every adult child will have a different opinion of "your wishes". PS: you could be saving thousands of dollars by doing this!
The planning my husband I have in place is no funeral for us, thanks. Except for my mom's, which I was not invited to, we saw the ungodly amount of money poured into the funerals of our parents and cringe at the thought. Cremation and ashes scattered on our land out here in the country is our preference. We'd love for everyone to have a meal and a beer or two in our home and remember us that way. Then if we haven't spent all of our money on elder care for ourselves, all the kids could go on a cruise. No disrespect to those who believe in funerals, it's just not our thing.
we have been thu two different funeral directors who insist on visiting with my mother and getting a check from her. this is the most thoughtless and morbid process i can think of. i dont think they have my mothers best interests in mind i think they want to secure that check and draw interest on it. ill probably choose yet another funeral service when the time comes just because of the lack of sensitivity of these two clowns..
More people are looking into or conducting Home Funerals. It takes planning and you do the work that you would pay big money to a Funeral Home. By planning ahead you can do the 'send off ' You or your Loved One would choose, not what you get pushed into when emotions are at their peak.
Investigating a Funeral and costs in advance is smart: however one should never reveal the amount or budget before hand, and perhaps more than one Funeral home, might provide pricing of services, A FUNERAL TRUST NOT purchased at a Funeral home is portable ANYWHERE, in contrast to a prepaid plan at a Specific funeral home , in the event of life changes; it might not be easily 'moved' In Wisconsin in 2012 it was discovered the Funeral directors prepaid investment 'trust' was short 20 million in future liabilities A Funeral trust in GA is Medicaid Exempt up to $10,000, and the only cost is the funding, no cost for the trust, I issue them on a regular basis,, and will work with attorneys helping with the estate planning etc, to provide one, not increasing any legal cost,anf leaving all options 'open' for the final services location, the Funeral trust is insured, and any excess is paid to the estate, The Funeral Home is not the beneficiary, so it does not control the funding
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Planning a Funeral in Advance Can Ease a Family's Grief
I do believe however, that a funeral is for the living, that the planning of the service is a step in the grieving process, and that arranging everything down to the flowers and music robs the family of this. Years ago families prepared the body and laid them out in their homes, a final service to their loved ones. If there is truly no one who would be willing to take on that task then I would rather they skip the funeral altogether than participate in a sham tribute that has no truth for them.
Finally late last year I gave Dad a large red notebook where I had sectioned off tabs for various things, such as Trusts/Wills, continuing care requests, etc. and had a bunch of questions in each tab for Dad to fill out. Bravo, at least now Dad said he found an ad for the funeral home in Iowa he wants me to use which had been used by other family members... at least it's a start... [sigh].
Unfortunately because of my own age decline traveling across county isn't going to happen... so once my parents pass, their trip via plane will be on their own with the funeral home meeting the plane, etc. Sadly I won't be able to attend the services at the cemetery. If only it was local. But I can understand my Dad wanting to be buried next to his parents, brother, and grandparents.
Yes, I put together a red notebook for myself with all my request, plus another notebook from the law firm that I had used for my Elder Law legal documents.
The trust itself is already in place, so there is cost involved on forming one. We need to know the name of the person and age, & date of birth of the person covered.
Who can be covered?: Both spouses, and their children & Spouses.
There is no additional cost for the trust; only the amount to be put into the trust, (which qualifies as an Immediate MEDICAID spend down, In Georgia for example; up to $10,000 person can be set aside,
IT IS NOT SPECIFIC TO ANY FUNERAL HOME, for your protection, and no visit to a funeral home is required, It does not become owned by the Funeral Home, any excess funds revert to the estate, and it can be arranged with a valid Power of attorney, for an aging parent.
It is valid at any funeral home, so portability is not a problem, and the funeral home is not privy to the 'budget'.
It is not controlled by the funeral home and it is insured, so there is no possibility of loss of funds by a firm going bankrupt, or a change of management, or mismanagement.
A private funeral director fund in Wisconsin came up short $20 million in 2012.
I lost both my siblings and had to plan both their funerals; my parents weren't able to do it. Both were sick; neither had life insurance so my parents paid. Then my mom suddenly died, 5 mos after my sister. I did it again. Mom wasn't religious, and never wanted to discuss planning for herself or dad (bad karma). But dad, God bless him, wants to talk about it, plan everything. I spent all of last year getting his Army uniform up to regulation (42 years of service), now we're choosing an assisted living near me, but I want to protect his money to be able to have the big send-off he wants.
Besides the fact it is not tied to specific Funeral home is the fact that it is Medicaid Exempt, so it preserves money that might otherwise be required to pay to a Nursing Home before Medicaid will qualify.
The Funeral Trust is Medicaid Exempt for the spouses, and their Children & Spouses, and counts toward spend down. ( for those younger folks the portability is extremely important and it has conservative yearly growth
PS: you could be saving thousands of dollars by doing this!
Yes; emotion's are a large driver in the expense column, and can be driven by comments made by the sellers of services.
A FUNERAL TRUST NOT purchased at a Funeral home is portable ANYWHERE, in contrast to a prepaid plan at a Specific funeral home , in the event of life changes; it might not be easily 'moved'
In Wisconsin in 2012 it was discovered the Funeral directors prepaid investment 'trust' was short 20 million in future liabilities
A Funeral trust in GA is Medicaid Exempt up to $10,000, and the only cost is the funding, no cost for the trust, I issue them on a regular basis,, and will work with attorneys helping with the estate planning etc, to provide one, not increasing any legal cost,anf leaving all options 'open' for the final services location, the Funeral trust is insured, and any excess is paid to the estate, The Funeral Home is not the beneficiary, so it does not control the funding