These are great recommendations. It's also important to know the warning signs of senior depression, and to seek help if you pick up on them.

Thank you, this helps ...

Honestly..........after spending 24 hrs/day doing the mundane caretaking and cleaning up etc and being treated poorly.................I have a hard time motivating myself to try to get my MIL to smile. The history is there and it is hard to forget. Sad to say but I don't worry about getting her to smile because she exhausts me with her miserable demeanor. And then, seconds after working to get her to smile.............she doesn't remember anyway.
I am cynical today.

Litldogtoo, while I agree with many of your statements, not everyone who places their elder in a NH or other care facility does so because they don't care. Many people simply don't have the personality or skills to be a daily caregiver. If it is not something you are good at, it can be disasterous to attempt it, for both parties. I have many talents and gifts, but I was not gifted with enormous amounts of patience or empathy. This does not make me a bad person, just not the best choice as a caregiver. I think it is wiser to acknowledge areas where we might have shortcomings and not put our elders or ourselves in the sort of stress that would surely result. So much better to carefully research a good facility where there are people who have these natural talents and are trained to handle the situations that inevitably arise, thereby keeping your good relationship with the parent intact. For some, this is just a wiser choice than constant stress or bickering.

I get my mom to smile when I take out my lipstick and offer to apply some on her; she loves that. Also, I point to her wedding rings and smile. Seeing my dog usually brings a smile. And of course, bringing her a glass of wine makes her day. Momma is very hard of hearing and struggles to express herself. It will be a sad day when i can't get Momma to smile. Thankful for each and every one that i can coax.

Litldogtoo (love that name)... You are so right!... so sad, I almost have no words for it... People now-a-days are 'vacant'... 'not home'... 'not helpful'... I'm amazed anything works (we won't go there!)... Getting back to the subject... Everyone is so different with all the malady's so you have to test the waters (so to speak)... My mother doesn't like music (that's just the way she is...)... but, I have 'figured' out what she does like... playing cards (and, my neighbors play cards with her once a week, when I'm at work)... church, going out for breakfast... having people come over to the house for get-together's... I put out Easter 'rabbit's around for her and give them names... she gets a chuckle with this... But, everyone is different...

This article was neat and can relate and appreciate the suggestions. Even my brother has helped me understand why my dad gets in moods like this and to just let it go.

Ageism is HUGE. There's lots of programming our elders don't understand on television, and with the inaccessibility of face to face banking business contacts, the telephone prompts that even younger people can't understand or keep up with, etc., etc., it's nearly impossible for them to interact in ways they are familiar with.

Ask yourself when was the last time you saw anyone over the age of 85 in a public place other than a doctor's office?

The elderly are the unseen in our society and when they do go out, they are nearly plowed down by people texting and/or talking on the cell phones. Nobody says hello anymore. Lots of talk, no action.

Sad. And it's going to get worse with the 'baby boom' generation coming up.

How sad family no longer wishes to care for their elders and place them in 'assisted living' and/or nursing home care.

Balloon batting while Mom is safe in bed always keeps her laughing but will annoy her if she is already in a bad mood. Brushing her hair makes her purr. Opposite of the advice above, children's books that are gorgeous and have themes of inclusiveness are a mainstay of our activities, as are the Classical Baby programs which you can preview on youTube. She enjoys anything about babies and does not think SHE is a baby.

Andre Rieu and The Celtic Woman concert DVDs are standards...watched repeatedly. Surprisingly, Mom loves the Diana Krall Paris DVD. At first I put on just the popular tunes, but realized she could follow all the jazz instrumental breaks as well.

Gentle hand and leg massage with massage oil. I work on her nails a bit every day, and she enjoys that.

Very good! Thanks!

I appreciated the practical ideas in this article.. Thanks!

Hi -- does you mom have a medical condition which makes eating difficult? Or is she just a finnicky eater? If it's the latter, maybe some "Ensure" and/or V8 juice as supplements to give her vitamins she's missing. Focus on the foods she loves, and get the healthiest version of them. A few of the foods my mother loves are blueberries, sweet potatoes, pasta, chicken, etc. so I make them in various ways and add in veggies whenever I can in salads & soups. Even though she doesn't eat a lot, at least it's healthy. Hope this helps & good luck . . . Donna

ant sugestions on how to get mom to eat?