How to Pay for In-Home Care


Home is the one place your parents find comforting. They know every inch of the home and stay in their home is a sign of competence and capability. Please look at every option to keep them in the home.

I have my mother living in my home. She is becoming more and more dependent. She takes up most of my day caring for her. I have heard that a lot of families let the sibling that is doing all this work keep their monthly checks after taking care of the parents expenses if any. Why should my brothers benefit from my mother saving her monthly checks when she pasess while I do all the work? Is this common practice with families?

commented in January that a reverse mortgage was a viable resource for this purpose. I would like to reiterate this and also mention that many people do not have long term care insurance or other resources besides their home equity. I know this seems out of the ordinary but many people that I speak with in their seventies and eighties have very little financial resources. This places greater emphasis on the potential use of a reverse mortgage as a safe effective tool to assist with care.

My father retired from the US Navy in 1981 after 30 years of service. He did not serve in Vietnam nor was he exposed to Agent Orange. When I called the VA program mentioned in the article, they stated that his widow (my mother) was inelegible for aid because he didn't meet the requirements stated above. What a pity.

I am my Mothers caregiver. Is there assistance available that would cover the cost to have someone sit with her so that I may have a day for myself occasionally?

For the kind of care my parents need ('round the clock), home care so far seems to be far more expensive than the fantastic ALF they're currently in. If your folks can handle most tasks of daily living without assistance and just need drop-in help, home care seems affordable, but when they need total care, it's pricey (at least around here).

For those of you who are looking to get through the red tape of veterans benefits, please contact the VCC or the Veterans Care Coordination. They not only handle Veterans but their spouses as well. They are wonderful, they will even up-front the money for you due to how long the VA takes to approve the benefits. I hope they can help you!

If an elder owns a large home with a lot of equity, I would have the parent(s) downsize to something more affordable [and on one level]. And put the remainder of the equity into a safe money market where it gains some interest.

Example, my Dad wanted to stay in his large home but the cost of having professional Caregivers from an Agency there 24 hours a day because he's a fall risk, didn't know how to cook or do any housekeeping, was costing him over $20,000 a month.

Cost wise he found if he sold his house and goes into Independent Living it would cost him between $4,000-$5,000 a month, which includes housekeeping, meals in the main dining room, activities, plus caregivers/aides/nurses on-site if he needs them. And he has a 4 room apartment all on one level. Plus he is around people of his own generation. He has already moved in and he's happy as a clam.

Once the house sells, no more worry about unexpected repairs such as needing a new furnace or new appliances or plumbing issues [which he recently had with the house], no worry about shoveling [we are in blizzard mode as I type this] or yard work.

It's something to think about.

Should a daughter be paid to be a live in care giver?. I don't need the money but I have to pay all utilities and groceries. Two older sisters have POAs. Only one can do the job because Husband is very ill and can't do much. We have three fathers between 5 of us. Two older and two middle and 1 younger sibling have a different parent. Youngest Lives far away, two in the middle (me and brother) same parent. The two oldest have the POA's and different parent. Those who have POA dominate all decisions. I want to have a say in some of the more important parts of mom's want and needs.


A Reverse Mortgage can provide easy access to home equity that has been built up over time. In turn, these funds can be used for in home care and enable the homeowner to stay in their home. There are some qualifications for eligibility but the loan is a non-recourse loan insured by the government through the FHA program and specially designed for seniors.

A key element to considering a HECM Reverse Mortgage for care is how they stand up against the available alternatives. If you were to pay off a mortgage and debts with savings you would have to deplete your savings to do so and many people simply do not have the savings for this option. In addition, and of paramount importance, a Reverse credit line cannot be taken away or cut back like a traditional home equity line can for non-payment or the perceived decline in value of the home. A Reverse credit line remains in spite of market conditions and the unused portion of your credit will actually grow between 4.5-5.0 percent per year as the homeowner ages. Unlike a traditional home equity line, this means that there will be more credit available each year based on the unused portion regardless of market conditions, and there will never be a monthly principal and interest payment due (applicable taxes and insurance still apply).