My husband is in a locked ward because he always attempts to break out. He also has hit another resident, pushed a nurse, and constantly threatens to break out. I’m very worried that they will evict him because I can’t care for him and I don’t know where they could send him. I wouldn’t blame them if they did evict him though as long as they could find another placement.

I want to give you a piece of my mind. That's why I can't stand the thought of even wanting to reach old age. You usually end up old, ugly, and bitter unless you have God's Holy Spirit very strong. You're more likely to end up in a rest home and not be able to do much of anything and be depressed and bitter as all get out and then you wonder why you can't just 'go'. For those who have hardly any happy memories of their lives, the process is even more bitter. Some can't stand to give up the sense of power and control over their families lives because they're ageing narcissistic ones who can't even stand it when they can't control people. I've met some real assholes in those facilities.

We also have a resident who displays a character disorder (narcissist) and is creating chaos throughout the commiunity. According to the Dept. of Health and Services' Admin. on Aging, 1 in 5 seniors will be a victim of bullying. Training is available for staff on how to recognize and handle aggressive behaviors. Unfortunately, companies do not value the residents or staff enough to make the investment. It's a dark situation. The victims know that the administrators just don't care!

I have never seen an answer to the problem of elderly people who are dangerous to other residents and staff. Where I live, there was only one (government) facility which would accept them, and it has now been closed after a resident murdered another resident and was threatening staff members. The facility and staff were strongly criticised, and conditions had clearly not been good. Staff were not all that sympathetic to their very difficult resident group, and patients were seen to be bruised. Family members who had been unable to cope, clearly expected everything to be lovely and were highly critical. However restraints are usually not allowed, solitary confinement is unacceptable, reasoning is useless, and punishments are not going to change the situation. If residents are evicted from a facility that can’t cope with them, where do they go?

I think that when you throw a bunch of people from various social, economic, religious and ethnic backgrounds into a building and force them to spend 90% of their time together there are going to be conflicts no matter what their ages. You give up your home and independence. You may need to share a room with someone you never, ever would have chosen for yourself. You eat your meals with the same people 3X a day every day and you've heard all their stories and are at the end of your rope trying to overlook behaviours that make your dining experience less that pleasant. Unless you are highly self motivated and/or physically able to leave your days are an endless repetition of the same menus, the same activities, the same faces. Then add in a little bit of dementia just to make things interesting...

I work at an independent senior living community. We have a bully problem. What are some of the strategies that you find to be successful? Also, are there reputable agencies or organizations that provide staff and resident trainings on aggressive behaviors? Need help!

I work at an independent senior community that has a bully problem. We do not have a code of conduct, so the behaviors escalate. I'm looking for agencies or organizations that provide staff training on how to deal with aggressive behaviors. Also, what are the laws to protect the elderly from abuse by their peers?

Within the assisted living facility that I work in there is a resident that presents Narcissistic/Sociopathic/Personality Disorder... verbal/mental abuse towards caregivers and fellow residents (at the very least fellow residents are a witness to such abuse)... resident refuses a pysch eval... social services are aware... The facility has lost over 25 caregivers, just due to him... reputation of facility has been diminished greatly, just due to him, to the point that all the good caregivers stay away from filling out an application to work at our facility... and still this resident has not been removed from the facility??????

My mother was the bully. She would constantly make derogatory and mean statements about/to her roommate. There was nothing that could be done to stop it - and no, it wasn't alzheimer's or dementia.

I've been my MILs caregiver for the past 4 years with little or no help. I just had hip replacement so we were FINALLY able to get part time help. My problem is my MIL is very combative when changing and bathing her and my husband who isn't here thinks its funny. She hits and fights with trying to get her clothes on. She's a maximum assist and does not walk at all and has dementia and is 89 yrs. my husband will not put her in a SNF. Everyday is a struggle to chg and bathe her.