I think it all depends on your situation. I completely understand and agree with the previous comments for some people. However, I am going to write one of these letters this year.

We live in Texas and most of my mom's family and friends live in New Jersey or sporadic other places. We have a very large family that keeps in touch to different degrees over Facebook.

I obviously will not post about it on Facebook! But, I also don't have time to call each person that would want or need to be informed. I talk to my mom's brother about twice a month to keep him updated, and to her long time best friend about every other month.

My intention though, is to just let people know. She has friends sending her private messages on Facebook and emails asking if she is ok. Officially diagnosed in February of this year, she is declining so rapidly that she is already at the point that she is separated from reality in many areas can't, and can't log on to the computer or make phone calls on her own.

So, I intend to write a short few sentences telling that she was diagnosed, that my sister's and my family are caring for her at her home as long as we possibly can. I will tell them that she would love and enjoy a phone call or short note if they are so inclined, but that sometimes she may not know who they are, and are likely to hear made-up stories along with her true memories, and she will almost always talk about planning a trip to come and see them soon.
(0)
Report

@trymybest I tend to agree with you on this issue too. If the family does not know all that is going on it is not the time to write about it in a Christmas card. At least that is my opinion and for that matter I have not even had time to write one Christmas card out yet:) On your other comment about personal health issues out their for the world to read I thought of this when I joined this site and have cringed in writing my own situation as it is to the world. On the other hand I am happy to know that others respond and I have read so many things here that have helped me get through these difficult times as well. As the topic of the blog post is in rules in writing a holiday letter some of the ideas are great but for me personally I can pick up the phone quicker then writing a letter like this. I totally understand the point of view on this posting. I just write my heart out and I tend to say less or more depending on what it is I want to write about.
(1)
Report

Thanks, kaypetrick; and you have also raised an important point: Caregiving is incredibly overwhelming. We may feel we need to confide in others about what's going on, but putting all the details of Mom's (or, as you say, whomever is being cared for) personal health issues out for the world to read is probably a breach of confidentiality.
(1)
Report

I agree with the both of you. Besides, who says that "Mom" or whomever is being cared for wants a slue of people knowing her personal health issues. If they stay in touch, and care about her - they already know.
(1)
Report

I figure the ones who care know what is going on and the rest don't really matter.

Completely agree with trymybest. Merry Christmas!
(2)
Report

I hope this is not too controversial, but as a caregiver who has plenty of emotion invested in what I have been doing this year, and as one who does not believe a holiday greeting is the place to share information about this kind of experience, I would like to go on record as saying that you should save the report of your situation for another time of year. The holiday season, to me, is a time to share holiday greetings, if you have the wherewithal to do so. Last year I ordered some pretty cards and never sent most of them because I was too overwhelmed. This year I am in a better state of mind, and will send greetings and good wishes to my friends and update them at another time. I am not trying to be "holier than thou" in this matter, but personally I get really tired of reading about this person's stroke and that person's broken arm. Been there, done that. A nice little card with a kitty or a puppy or some elves or the religious theme of your choice will cheer others. You can tell them about Mom's behavior or symptoms some other time.
(2)
Report

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter