I used to stuff down all my feelings all my life. when i was 21 i fell in love and spent almost a decay of my life waiting for him to live with him one day. but he disappeared suddenly without even saying bye. i`m 32 now. and for the 2nd time i fell in love with a man in another country. but i`m suffering again that i cant even be with him. I always ignored my feelings, never cried in front of my family, never complained, acted like nothing happened. because mostly my Dad taught me not to be so weak!!! I`m in a bad mental condition now. and never talked on this with anyone.
Knitting saves me every time and I have something to show for my caregiving time. It instantly relaxes me because you have to be present and focused. I would encourage all caregivers to try some sort of needlework.
What a wonderful array of ideas to try! Phydical release is great, but I have read that studies have shown that activities like going to the gym often work better than the more violent based cathartic methods of hitting things-especially using self harm tactics! Having a good social network where someone DOES really have time to listen equally as important as the physical release this article so importantly discusses.
Thank-you for this. It arrived at a point where I REALLY need it as my body it definitely telling me that I need to look after myself a little better. I'm going to print it out and hang it where I can see it every day.
Yes, very good advice! I go to the gym early before my mom awakens and pump iron. There is a punching bag there that I give a good punch to when I'm feeling angry or aggressive that day. JessieBelle has the right idea, too. Animals are very calming. I have a cat that senses when I'm a little 'at odds' with Mom and he climbs in my lap for a pet..this calms me down. Then, I can tolerate my 'sweet little Mother' and be nice to her :-)).
Excellent advice on not stuffing feelings. I punch my palm a lot when I get angry. After three years I'm surprised my palm is not black and blue. It has taken quite the beating. But I have to let the anger out.
There is a positive way I stuff my feelings, though. If I am angry or upset, it upsets my rabbits. They look concerned and I assure them that I would never hurt them. I can feel the anger slipping away when I talked to them and pet them. Animals are magic like that.
Amen to that!!!! Experiment!!! When people ask you how you are. Do not reply and watch how many people will say in return , Oh, Good!! Everyone is so Out of Tune to what is happening in others lives, because they are so overwhelmed with what is happening in their own!!!, or simply have not taken the time to listen!!!!!!! I "mess" with people when they ask me how I am, at times. I ask them if they really have time to listen! Some will be honest, others get the biggest look of surprise on their face! WE ALL NEED TO REEVALUATE HOW WE ARE TREATING OTHERS. In this high tech world, it is becoming evermore detached, emotionally!!!!!! Try to take time to listen to one person each day. It will make you feel like you helped them and it will make their day or perhaps even life better, because you took the time to care!!!!!!!!!!
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Stuffing Your Feelings: An Unhealthy Caregiver Coping Mechanism
i`m 32 now. and for the 2nd time i fell in love with a man in another country. but i`m suffering again that i cant even be with him.
I always ignored my feelings, never cried in front of my family, never complained, acted like nothing happened. because mostly my Dad taught me not to be so weak!!! I`m in a bad mental condition now.
and never talked on this with anyone.
There is a positive way I stuff my feelings, though. If I am angry or upset, it upsets my rabbits. They look concerned and I assure them that I would never hurt them. I can feel the anger slipping away when I talked to them and pet them. Animals are magic like that.
Experiment!!! When people ask you how you are. Do not reply and watch how many people will say in return , Oh, Good!!
Everyone is so Out of Tune to what is happening in others lives, because they are so overwhelmed with what is happening in their own!!!, or simply have not taken the time to listen!!!!!!!
I "mess" with people when they ask me how I am, at times. I ask them if they really have time to listen! Some will be honest, others get the biggest look of surprise on their face!
WE ALL NEED TO REEVALUATE HOW WE ARE TREATING OTHERS. In this high tech world, it is becoming evermore detached, emotionally!!!!!!
Try to take time to listen to one person each day. It will make you feel like you helped them and it will make their day or perhaps even life better, because you took the time to care!!!!!!!!!!