Austin, I didn't know that some hospitals offer support that is nice to know.

A lot of hospitals have support groups for families taking care of ALZ elders-so that might be something to look into for help.

Debbya, I would contact your local VA office n see what they have to offer. The VA has been taking more notice for their VA's being the media has done some reports n r local area for those who are homeless. I would think in your area too would not won't something like that out in the air if u know what I mean. If you r not able to do the 24/7 careg-giver then do what is best for him n yourself. I also say that to anyone else that may be in similar situation.
For Those who wish to continue to be a caregiver I suggest to get all the support group you can get n here is a start. If you hover over with your mouse on the blue areas you should be able to find some help like the, "Agency on Aging." The Alzheimer's Association in your local area can help too.
For those who r thinking about take that step as a care-giver, their is no school that I know of just like Austin mention. This place is a start to get a feel from other people who r experience n walking these shoes. I personally found a lot on this site n educated myself about the disease so that I can understand it a bit more.

ctstorey, I don't see why the VA not paying for his meds, can u get it in generic form or something? I would contact my local Alzheimer's Association to see if they can help you. Here is the Organization web-site n all u need to do is type your zip-code for your local area association. Here is their phone # for their 24/7 Helpline: 1.800.272.3900 I hope this help. You may also want to check into an Elderly Law Attorney if he has any assets like a house or property n such. Good luck n just remember to breath. Please come back to let us know how u r doing.

If there is a caregivers support group near you -it would help you to talk to other caregivers. There is no school for the children of the elderly-here on AC we share experiences that is one reason I stayed after my husband died-I had so much unwanted experience and knew I would be able to help others. Call you office of the ageing they should be able to give you some direction. I had to pay a pently for my drug plan but it was not much and the pently was droped after about two years because I got all my meds through my husband's union plan.

I am at wit's end. My mom has passed away and my dad (83) has beginning stage dementia and was no longer safe living on his own. We have found a wonderful assisted living facility where he is now living. My problem is how to pay for it. There is enough money at present to keep him at the facility for up to 6 months.

There is a reverse mortgage that my parents took out several years ago and borrowed money, but not to take care of the house. I now have to sell the house, but it is probably not even worth what is owed to the bank, so that is not going to be a help.

Dad is a vet, so I am meeting with the VA to get financial aid. It has taken me 3 months to get that appointment and now I am told that it could take 12 months for him to be qualified.

His medications now have to be put up in a blister pack for the assisted living and the VA will no longer pay for his meds. So I have to sign him up for Medicare Part D. Because he did not apply for part D years ago, he may have to pay a penalty which stinks, because he did not need part D then. Also, that will not start until January 2013 and it is now $650 a month out of pocket along with the $3500 for the home.

Medicaid is only interested in how much they are going to be reimbursed. He has paid into the system since he was 17 years old and now that he needs it, he has to pay them back with any money that is available including his life insurance policy which we will need to bury him when that time comes.

I have had days where I have done nothing but make phone calls and at the end of the day, have nothing accomplished and still no real answers.

Where is there a school for the children of the elderly to learn what to do before we need to do it?

You need caregiver respite

You can get a caregiver depending on what you qualify for. There's In-Home Supportive Services or several home care agencies (google it) around whatever area you're in. Caregivers would help take care of things around the house or wherever you need them.

There's also Adult Day Health Care (ADHC) where you can drop me off for a couple of hours so he can socialize with other people. He might be able to meet a couple of other veterans. I've seen more veterans at various senior centers (also google it).

Also, if your father is a veteran, call the VA for more resources. They'd be able to provide more help and referrals depending on his need.

Hope this helps.

i am tired. dads dementia is escalating, hes a vet, wont go to home, even tho 4 doctors have recommended now that i put him in one.. i dont know what to do !!, im here 24/7, i do everything regarding house and him, except personal hygene, and dressing him,, i heard the VA has free old folks homes?, how do you do that? and will the/his doctor put him there? since i cant do it?, he grew up in orphanage, and by the way, the ONLY thing keeping him alive is his many pills for various things, heart, and more, i now administer those too. please someone advise me, please.