The Captain could be a real p.i.t.a. sometimes, but his irreverent responses just gave me a good chuckle.
I agree with the comment from anonymous100919 that nurses and aides shouldn't have to receive incentives to do their jobs, but I've come to realize that competence and dedication are unfortunately often not the norm and should be recognized.

Once a twice a year I slip a twenty to the nurses and CNAs who "wait on" my wife over many years...they are not supposed to take it, but I do it privately and they do appreciate it...

I also compliment them routinely..

Grace + peace,

Old Bob

Well I guess I messed this one up. I have already told off most of the staff at the AL place my parent's live. They mostly sit around doing nothing but chat among themselves and I told them as much.

About the Go Home advice: Nope, no way, not happening ... IF the patient has dementia. Most hospitals are woefully ignorant of the special needs of patients with dementia. Some nurses have some experience, but not necessarily good experience that had good results. All do the best they can. Until that is remedied, I would not consider leaving a loved one with dementia alone in a hospital. This is NOT a criticism of nursing. It is a criticism of training and staffing volumes. My husband had mostly competent and delightful nurses during his various stays, and they mostly seemed pleased to have family on hand to keep him calm, help him remember where he was, and understand what was happening. Hospitals are NOT designed to be friendly places for those with dementia. Not the nurses fault, of course.

lol, reminds me of homer simpson asking his new friend if he liked to be referred to as gay or queer. his friend replied " or you could just call me john " .

Actually it's Mz Big Linda, to you.

i think you could have begun a better relationship with the nurse by just calling her linda as opposed to " big " linda.. i suppose chocolate cake probably mended that mistake but id be more careful in the future.

I have a lot of respect for good nurses and good aides and all good health care providers but regarding bringing "goodies" for staff, you can call me Scrooge but this troubles me. First of all, many caregivers are stressed timewise and financialwise. So maybe they would love to do this but do they now have to feel that in order to ensure quality care for their loved ones they have to add this to their tasks? Second, these are professionals, or supposed to be, they should be doing their job, regardless of who the patient is or whether family is rewarding them. And the time they spend chit chatting with you or spending extra time with your loved one, some other patient is not getting their attention. Don't think I don't reward good workers. I do but after they have done the work and without any expectations for better care. I always give aides at home birthday and holiday gifts. In hospitals, I write commendation letters or note them in surveys. In rehab, as my family member is checking out, I give gift cards to local food stores or restaurants to those who gave good care without knowing they would be rewarded.
This is not to knock anyone who does bring in treats, etc for staff b/c I understand, yes can be effective for your loved one's care.

When I go to my mom's every 90 days or so, care plan meeting, I take something for the staff on my mom's floor to share (cupcakes from Sam's, couple of boxes of fruit bought from a roadside vendor, etc) AND a small version of that for the DON (director of nurses who is the god or goddess of the NH). Nothing pays off like this sort of investment as the staff remember you or your name and your parent in a positive light.