i dont want to do things for myself . i am a monster of creating beautiful things but for my own purposes a one room cave with an earthen floor is livin large imo . i have built two homes that became so beautiful i couldnt live in them . id have been more at home as a member of a germanic tribe in the time of the roman empire . hunt , gather , make beer , and hack the heads off of roman soldiers who ventured into my forest .

mslisadoll:
I am doing the same as you, mistaking self care for selfishness at times. And I'm very hard on myself. Very hard! Hubby is 20 years older than me and has old age problems like your Dad.

This article is a important reminder to caregivers. Personally, I've found out that it's easier to pour my compassion and helpfulness out to others, but harder to give myself the same. When I'm caring for my loved one I give, and give, and give without a thought for my own well being. It becomes a never ending cycle, without a thought to myself until burnout slaps me down with illness or mental exhaustion. This article is helpful for the tips on how to take care of myself. Point #3 hits home to me. It's easy to be critical of myself about what I perceive as failings or weakness. It's a lot harder to treat myself like I would treat my best friend....with love and compassion for what they (I) am going through. Shouldn't we all be our own best friend? I should stop and ask myself, "would I treat my best friend like I'm treating myself in this situation?" I've pinned this article so I can review it later. Thank you!

I'm re-reading this article again. I just realized that all the points mentioned here are the same points my therapist has mentioned one point at a time per visit. It's just worded differently. I have difficulty with the "grateful" journal assignment. I like the one mentioned here - where we put in our journal the good things we do each day. Sounds so much easier than trying to find what I should be grateful for today. Just kidding..I will Add the suggestion here also to my struggling 'grateful' list.

What a coincidence. This is my new goal that I chose last week- to love myself. And this article came up. It's as if Life is giving me signs that it's time to take care of ME. Or reinforcing my decisions despite the doubts that I have.

Thank you so much for this article. Think I may have mistaken self care for selfishness at times. Wonder if sometimes other caregivers are kind of too hard on themselves like that. This is good, helpful info that lets us know it's ok to take care of ourselves.