Oregongirl, thanks for bringing this article to the forefront, it was an interesting read. Here in Ontario while assisted living facilities can vary greatly in cost and amenities, long term care homes, whether for profit or otherwise, are strictly regulated and the differences between them hard to find. From the hospital beds to the common rooms they all look like institutions with a bit of “lipstick and mascara”. Out of curiosity I watched all the lovely youtube videos they each have posted and it left me depressed for days.
The differentiating factor is the staff, and of course you can't get a feel for that in a video. Unfortunately staff, from the director of care down to maintenance and housekeeping, often changes and it can have a huge impact on care policy, and day to day livability for residents.
Finding a home with an active volunteer base seems to be a real bonus, as they will remain a loyal and constant resource.

My partner and I had a fire and family members check with the local Assisted INDEPENDENT Living facility and sure enough they had rentals. We renting a two bedroom apt. At first we loved it. I never had to clean and three meals a day were prepared so I did not have to cook. We had a stove and Frig if I wanted to use it. After about two months, I realized that I could never live like this. The meals were being repeated week after week. The meats were poor quality and the fish was overcooked. I was gaining weight like never before. I could not stand the never ending same cycle of things. I actually was beginning to feel like I was in prison. After about 6 months our home was rebuilt and I could not move out fast enough. I could not understand why anyone would live in a place like this. At least I had my home to go to. Others had sold their home within the first couple of months of moving there. They expressed their sadness of not having a place to go other than to stay at the facility. They called me LUCKY. I made many great friends and will visit them often. There is nothing better than staying in your home. UNLESS of course, you are to ill or have no one to care for you. My partner is 16 years older than I am and I am a proud caregiver. IF you have the option of being a caregiver I highly recommend it over a facility.

This is horrible that this happens to seniors. And I have been in several nursing homes, and the staff also gave very little attention to the seniors there. They get them up and line them all outside in their door in their wheelchairs. Once while I was there, a sweet old man begged me to roll him down the hall and back, and I asked the nurse if I could do this, and she said no. WHAT? I was not going to kidnap him. Sadly, most nursing homes are just like warehouses to me. They get their daily living take care of, but not their emotions, fears, being scared and alone, and they just wilt away. It is heart breaking.

There are facilities that have strict policy of NO personal interactions between staff/patient-resident. The interactions will have to do with commands, requests, orders, instructions about the task at hand...and nothing else. No joking, no kidding, no hand on the shoulder, no looking into the eyes, no acknowledgement in the halls, the wheelchairlineupofdeath. And these can be snazzy looking facilities also. Everything by the book, duties strictly compartmentalized.

You have no idea how this can drive a dementia patient mad, insane. To be around people who are not personable.Where there is no connection. Health warning signs are missed, the patient is fearful and does not report problems. What did they do wrong? How come their cries of pain are not answered and aides are walking by. The other patients see that this is also their fate and are now in...hell. What did they do to deserve this? And now they become a mental case, deteriorating as a result of "good" care...and then it is "it's the dementia" to describe the patient's behavior...and Rx and locking them up comes next. "It's the disease, the dementia."

I have talked to a cna from AZ who worked in a facility exactly like this, where it is STATED policy to never interact. She was horrified...she had two decades real dementia experience and an MS. None of her expertise was welcome. She was warned, got out of there as quickly as she could and quit caregiving all together. A dementia caregiving coach was in on the discussion, and she said countless aides who took her classes on how to communicate with dementia folks...came up in tears and said they were forbidden to do any relating at all.

Often this is true at NH just because of over burden of chores, rush to get through the day. relating is the activities department business...and how serious at they at using their activities to really connect?? or is it just to get through the hour and on to the next on the schedule.

the owner of a consierge service for seniors...execs from a major corporation who all three did trouble shooting for their own parents told me when I asked her about this, "The nursing homes have a hard enough time finding willing employees who are well enough qualified to work for low wages. If you also put people relating skills in the mix, you have wiped out 80% of your labor pool." Well, that does not sound so "evil" as some facility's "No bonding" policy, but it has same effect. Patients are taken for granted, decline is seen as inevitable, loneliness as ...that is just the way it is. Lonely old seniors.

BASTA!

This is an excellent article, and important to know as much as you can about any facility, regardless if it is a group home, residential home for a few seniors, or a nursing or congregated home. Also, you can look up reports for each facility if they have problems, which is very important. My husband own and operate a Residential Care Home for seniors. It is very important that everything mentioned above can be felt in our home. We have a wii, but sometimes, especially if they cannot remember how to use it, it can be frustrating. The most important thing to us for seniors is family and friends involvement, regardless how far away they live. You can use Skype where they can see their family, friends and loved one. We kept a weekly blog where we updated what was going on with the senior, and all friends and family could be members of this blog, and share pictures, notes, etc. We would print all emails and pictures that were sent to them, and read the emails to them if they had problems with reading. The pictures were placed in frames and on a big bulletin board where it would be the first thing they saw when they came into the the common area of the house and the last thing they saw when they went to bed. Having them to be able to keep up with their grandkids means everything. The ability to see them grow, things they do, their voice, etc. especially means a lot when they are miles away from them. We opened our home as it just burned us up how badly seniors were getting little care when it came to their emotions and well being overall. They deserve so much, and it is just SAD that they get so little. Katie

I noticed that the article seemed to deal more with Senior nursing type facilities as opposed to Senior housing as the story implied. The reason I clicked to read is because I am the property manager of a Senior Housing Apt complex in North Carolina and was hoping to find some information I could use. While the information about the atmosphere is accurate and how the staff (two of us) relates to each other and to residents is important the rest of the article really didn't seem to provide me with much further information. We don't have meals prepared or medical staff as this is what you might call "independent living" apartments where the residents cook for themselves and have CNAs assist them, if needed, but not a service provided. We do have activities (Bingo, church, cookouts, parties, Resident Association meetings they do on their own as a group etc.) and the building is painted in bright happy colours. There are over 60 residents.Just like with any group some of these become friends with each other and others are "loners." Each resident has his/her own apartment and not just a "room" and each person is treated with dignity and respect and may remain an individual. Hopefully the atmosphere at this property, as suggested in the article, is peaceful and happy and presents a nice aura. I suppose the article does partially deal with my type housing but I just want folks to know that there are Senior Housing properties that are available that do not provide any medical care and where their Senior family member is still a thriving independent person in the community. Usually our next move is TO a nursing facility of some kind.

To all tose families who have siblings in Nursing Homes... Please. Please. Keep your ears and eyes opened. Your parents need you to always be there for them. Don't just drop them off and forget about them... It's a sad situation. Some Nursing Homes can be reallly careless. I should know. I had an Uncle who died in a Nursing Home... I feel guilty that i couldn't do more for him.....judy