We learned during the pandemic just how devastating loneliness and isolation can be for older adults. This article shares more about the necessity of socialization for seniors: https://superiorseniorhomecare.com/the-friendship-factor-why-socialization-for-seniors-is-crucial/

A different perspective- but at age 72, I am getting lonelier, and it’s because of where I live. My DH is happy with his shed etc, but I don’t know anyone else around here with my intellectual interests. I was a consultant, and you can’t make personal friends with the clients or the people who decide on the tenders. The local political party has evening meetings that would require me to drive home alone through the hills with no mobile coverage, and I’m hopeless about car problems, so I’m not game to risk it. DH decided that we need to move, at least for the winter, and it’s working out well. If the theatre or craft centre is 10 minutes down the road, I can cope! For me, it’s about location and opportunities.

I agree, Sunny; I think all of society has an attitude of me, me, me (except when they want something, usually $$); so why wouldn't children/g'children be the same? It is indeed sad; I just wonder where we're headed sometimes...scary...

I don't think children/grandchildren care any more......they need you growing up but they get to the age they have no time for you unless they need money....otherwise Seniors are forgotten....many live in nursing homes and never have visitors.....Sad times we live in....it is an attitude of me, me, me!!!

But be aware, tho, that TheSilverPost.org is for grandparents only. What too many in the elder care community don't seem to realize is that there are plenty of us elderly who never had/wanted kids even, let alone grandkids. Which, in the area I'm in anyway, is another thing that isolates us; it's considered weird & downright "ungodly/unchristian/unamerican,etc." to not have kids/g'kids. Something for the therapeutic community to remember once in a while.

One idea for "bridging the gap" is to use www.TheSilverPost.org

My mother had a severe stroke , her speech was terribly impacted. It is difficult to know what she says a lot of the time. What to do!

These are wonderful tips to help ease the loneliness so many older adults experience. It's also a great idea to enlist the help of a professional in-home caregiver to serve as a companion and enhance socialization.

I have learned that creativity and making art can provide meaning to life. Implementing Artists in Residence in nursing homes could help provide significance for people in LCTR through diverse range of creative and meaningful activities. It has been discussed in many studies that artists’ programs in LCTR provide meaning, relieve boredom and loneliness, and, most significantly, have shown a benefit for those suffering from mental illness (Brownie & Horstmanshof, 2011; Palacios-Ceña et al., 2016; Teeri, Leino-Kilpi, & Välimäki, 2006; Wood, Womack, & Hooper, 2009).

I've been so irritated with my dad I never realized maybe all he wants is conversation with me. The irritation is more because I feel we are stuck to take care of my dad while my other siblings get to live their lives. I've told them over and over to take das out or on their vacations. They hear me but rarely come visit him. They apologized to my husband and I when mom passed saying they were sorry they didn't spend more time with her, but they're doing the same thing to my dad. It's frustrating and most of the cause of my irritation. My sister is great though she helps out. It's my 3 brothers. My husband is always engaging with my dad. He's awesome and has more patience than I do. Reading all your comments opened my eyes to be more patient and take time to converse with my dad. I'm thankful he is healthy. Thank you

Just get to the last post on a thread you want to join by pressing "last" at top or bottom of the comments and type your comment in the box and press "Post comment", Is that what you are looking for? Anyone can post to any thread.

How do I become involved in the conversations?

I'm sorry too, Me, for what you're going thru. Cwillie does come up with some good suggestions but it depends on the area you live in; around here, such places where care becomes avail. as needed are very expensive or you need to be broke enough to be on Medicaid (and the Medicaid places usually have waiting lists a mile long). So I'm not sure what I'll do as I get (even) older; it's a problem for a lot of us unfortunately. I wish you the best of luck.

Sorry you are estranged from your family me@att, I think you are essentially in the same boat as many of us who are unmarried and childless. The best advice I can give to you is to plan your future as though you are alone. Pick a living arrangement where care will be available in the future as it becomes needed, where there is the potential to make friends and neighbours look out for each other, and where there are interesting things going on to keep you interested and engaged in life.

what happens when a senior who has children don't come or call, not even when I am in the hospital. No one calls or visits, not even the gr. children. I had a gr. child that was living w/me & he got killed less then a month ago. I just feel like no one cares and I don't have a of money seeing as I am retired now. I don't hardly eat so I no longer cook. what am I to do?

All of the *few* groups around here that I'd be interested in joining are full of younger people & as nice as the young gals are in the ones I've tried joining, I really miss the companionship of gals closer to my age, someone who can relate to the aches, pains, indignities (can't sit thru a movie without having to use the restroom, etc.) of old age; alas only grps for gals in my age group are kid/grandkids, religion, arts/crafts related, none of which I'm at all interested. You know, some of the best advice I ever got was from some1 on the internet: "Sounds like with your interests, you'd be better off in or near a large city." Which, if I could afford it & my hubby would move, I'd do in a red-hot minute. But too late now.

The article does reflect what tends to happen as we age. However, I find that I can make new friends and I am 78. They are much younger than I am and that is good, I have a sig other I met about 7 years ago and several friends I met when in my 70s. I have also lost friends through death, illness or by them moving to other locations. Sig other is very busy so I tend to spend quite a lot of time alone but I don't mind that and I am not lonely. Sometimes it is a matter of reaching out to others - taking the risk to get to know someone better. My kids have their own lives which at times include me but not regularly and I am OK with that. All the suggestions are good but do not fit everyone. We each have to carve out our own way.

Very good postings, all; but whether it's because historically in this country the elderly were living with family members & that was considered to be enough for them or some other reason, groups such as Doitnow1234 suggested don't seem to work. Several (including myself) have tried such groups in this area & they get nowhere, almost total lack of interest. (And admittedly, there's a real lack of interest in all age groups joining things any more--& they don't notice their loneliness & growing social isolation becuz they're busy still working, raising, family, taking care of elderly parents/spouse, etc--but it's the hardest, as all things in life are, for the elderly becuz you just simply spend most of every day alone. And groups that are set up specially to get people together to socialize do not work, probably becuz most people want things to feel as natural and spontaneous as possible not this awkward, being thrown together like kids being dropped off somewhere for a play date. And guess what: these kinds of groups are never going to work becuz humans spent most of our evolution whole families either living together or nearby; then as recently (as human history goes) as shortly after World War II (here in the US anyway), everybody started moving around constantly. And it wasn't the kind of immigration as before WW2 when whole families would move to a new area; nope, it was some guy who had gone to college (& the 1st ever in his family to do so) on the G.I. Bill, picked up his high school sweetheart & married her & moved far away from all family & friends. (And most of the defense contractors, corporations, etc. these guys worked for were moving them as often as every 6 months, so no chance to make lasting friends with the neighbors.) So since there doesn't seem to be any chance of changing all this, old people are going to be getting lonelier & lonelier. When I was young a long time ago, I heard more than once, old folks talking about how if you manage at all to make friends once you're grown, they won't be anywhere near as good as friends you make when you're a kid. Turns out they were right; recent brain mapping shows that the part of the brain used in making friends peaks at the age of 8 & then it's downhill after that. Who knew Gram & Gramps knew so much!

Growing old is now often a real problem - especially in the U.S. Elders in many other cultures are treated with respect and are not generally pushed aside. This is not that most people here do not love them but the pace of life and demands made on Americans are often so great (not to mention the cost of living for the so-called "middle class" which is disappearing) that care-givers are stretched to the limit to care for their own children and selves as well as aging relatives. Extended families are almost unheard of anymore and smaller families may leave few members to be of much help.
Abandoning the experiential knowledge and know-how of the senior generation is an unfortunate mistake, especially among men and women with extensive education and exposure to the modern workings of today's commercial interactions and economics. Training and insight from exposure to what will work and what won't is rarely explored by the newly educated youth and may be last for consideration by more mature individuals.

I myself am now alone and like many seniors find these years somewhat of an unwanted surprise as now retired, friends and family are diminished and looking for activity more suitable to their own surroundings - not that they don't care anymore but that opportunities to interact may be less available. Finding meaningful conversation and activity with other human beings fills the soul with joy. Not even travel, game-playing, or entertainment meets this need. The spirit begins to die and the body follows.

I want to start a group to help fill the empty hearts of seniors alone. Holidays and birthdays are often spent in deep lonliness and depression. Why couldn't we meet together to enjoy these special times? Some special emphasis' we could explore are: a "favorite things" group (or discussion), teach us something, favorite recipes, colors, memories, nicest comments ever received, pets, and why. We could play "Show and Tell", tell jokes, demonstrate a skill, or if a business person, important knowledge.

Your article is right on, for caregivers. I was one for my husband for about 7yrs. Now I am alone, isolated, lonely, able to take physical care of myself for the time being. But making new social contacts is not easy. Nor does family always understand that. Is there an organization or website for elders, where we can share from our point of view,?

Loneliness is unfortunately such a common problem for the older generation. I've been helping my father adapt to mobility issues that have contributed to his loneliness and depression. Fortunately, I was able to find walking sticks and The Silver Line Helpline to help him cope. It's very important that the elderly feel part of the community, and helping my dad move around more easily and talk to people more easily seems to have helped him.

Sometimes bridging the generation gap can be more difficult today than it was in the past simply because we are waiting to have families until we are in our mid thirties and forties. I used to love going for holidays to my grandparents house, and getting to know them for who they were was a real building block toward who I later became. It's not so easy when gram and gramps are in their 70's and 80's and possibly in declining health.

I would also like to point out that it is not just seniors who are isolated and lonely. Many caregivers are as isolated as those they are caring for, I have even heard it described as like being under house arrest. Yes we can communicate instantly through texts and email, but it is not the same thing as real human contact.

I want to follow this article. My 90 year old Mother fits in. Write more later.

I liked this article. It serves as something informative and also a reminder that there are older people out there that are lonely. You'd think that this day and age there wouldn't be as many, but technology doesn't seem to solve everything. We should all strive to make more effort in helping our elderly population. Even the small things like talking to an elderly stranger in a store or in the doctor's office, helping them with their groceries (like pushing the cart out to their vehicle or elder van), even just a smile goes a long way to make their day. These things are free but add so much to their lives. If everyone did just one little thing, maybe it would be a step in the right direction of helping them feel less lonely. Thanks for the article.

I really appreciate this information for it helped me realize how important it is for a person to be taken cared..I'm in my fortys now,yet I find it difficult to understand the old ones in our family.After reading this article,I think I can bravely make the first move to become a part of their lives again..thank you so much,and I am looking forward to have more helpful informations again..

I liked this article. It sort of confirmed what I would do with my mom, things I did that seemed natural. The only thing was that once the dementia took over, it became harder because she wasn't the same mom anymore. I found that I had to try new ways to engage her in something because most of the things she liked to do at one time were no longer things she was interested in, or simply couldn't do anymore. I got through it though, and found a lot of time was going down "memory lane" and looking at old photos - it seemed like the connection she needed and was more comfortable with - her mind was in the past and that's were I visited her. It's nice to see articles like this one so that other people can get ideas and advice on helping their loved ones through what I call a terrible disease that takes so much from peoples lives - caregivers and their families as well as the person that is suffering. Thanks for another wonderful article.

I understand it completely. You do not think about this as you grow up. All of a sudden it hits you and you remember hints older family had given you. No way to change it, you do go inside yourself and live with memories.

A lot to think about, makes sense when you do. Thanks!

It is not always "so easy to combat loneliness in the elderly" as our family has discovered with our 82-year-old mother. Our mom fits the profile of one who pushes others away--that is, everyone but her immediate family. She craves time with us, mostly with the tv blaring in the background (her choice), but isn't at all open to encouragement to make friends at her new independent/assisted living community. Four out of the five of us live out of state. We tried coaxing her to move nearer to her daughters, but she refused. Among the siblings, we girls would have had more time for nurturing than her sons. She was almost totally isolated at her previous home and agreed to move a year after her husband, our dad, passed away. He had been in a nursing home for just under two years. I am thankful for my siblings who have served Mom well and continue to, often at great sacrifice. Prayer, patience and unconditional love are the best tools for children of the elderly, I'm finding. Older folks either adjust eventually to their new lives or flat-out don't. Many factors play a role, and there usually aren't easy answers. Each family and each person is unique; there is no one-size-fits-all formula for success. I place my hope in God who created my mom and who loves her more than I do. Hopefully, she will do the same and find the peace and fulfillment only He can give.

just listen to the elder. my aunt had ingrown toenails hurting her, her eyeglasses sucked and she didnt have a comfortable chair to sit in. weve fixed all that crap -- cause i was listening to her..