I wasn't scared. Dr. wouldn't even talk to us due to HIPPA laws. HIPPA crippled me and my siblings when we tried to step in to become caregivers.

I took my mom off the Aricept and Namenda and her abdominal pain and GI issues resolved. The meds were not doing much for her, just making her feel sick. I would not take mom off her aspirin or her statins as these are for cardiovascular health andhelp to prevent stroke, heart attack and the like. The aspirin and statins are innocuous enough. I did have mom's anti-depressant changed from Remeron to Lexapro (More for anxiety) and the Lexapro improved her demeanor (used to be angry and anxious). The Lexapro helps her quality of life (and mine). Monitoring the drugs and reactions is quite an endeavor. Try hooking up with a Nurse Practitioner who specializes in Geriatrics - they can be a great help and partner well - better than docs do. Hope this helps.

The first things to remember is that Drs are not God and you are paying the bill.
They are at your service so if you don't like it change.
Go to appointments well prepared with a list of questions.
Remember Drs are not experts in all fields and Primary Care Drs deal with just that and an area where they are not experienced is one for a specialist.
Do not allow tests to be performed on elderly loved ones when you know they could not tolerate the treatment. yes it might be nice to know if Mom's belly pain is from cancer but do you really want to subject her to a colonoscopy and the heart Dr has said she could not tolerate surgery .
Be sensible in your expectations for the elderly. no one can live for ever so what you may experience from some Drs is preserving quality of life rather than quantity.
That is not to say that elderly complaints should be ignored, just the opposite they have as many rights to be properly treated as their younger counterparts.
The internet is a wonderful resourse but only use sites from reputable medical establishments and medical journals rather than the expert who has treated many Hollywood stars and is selling their latest version of snake oil.
Medicine is an art and a science and some are better at it than others. Use your common sense.

It may be a bit scary but I found it necessary and for the best. My mom was showing signs of alzheimer's. My bro and I made a private Appt to speak to her General Practioner explaining our concerns. We were set up with a doctor who specializes in memory. It got the ball rolling with memory testing etc.. Her GP was not really aware of the problems. It was very reassuring to speak to someone who validated our concerns. With alzheimers, the patient often cannot help themselves, don't realize they are having problems, are in denial and/or scared about the implications such as losing their drivers license. It's best to get all the help you can. The sooner the better. You are going to need it so that lifestyle changes can be planned for.

On mom's last regular visit, I was in the middle of explaining that mom had been complaining of belly discomfort when the doc suddenly interrupted me, smiling, to ask me if we were interested in trying yet another investigational medication. She was not even listening to me. She offered nothing for the belly thing, and it went away, probably indigestion. (The doc is over a medical research facility and a memory care center as well as this private practice). We have tried several research meds with no success, and I stopped the last one since mom was so belligerent about taking another pill, and having her take her meds has been a daily source of battle between us all along. I had also mentioned I wished to take her off as many of her meds as possible last year, so no more daily baby aspirin or cholesterol medication at least. I really believe the Aricept and Namenda are doing no good at this point; she has been on both for several years plus an antidepressant with the doc not willing to play with these or drop them. If the belligerence and anger continue to increase, I do plan to place her in memory care next year but before that, I swear I will wean her off the Namenda and Aricept myself. It's late in the game to switch doctors, and I want to see what happens without those two meds.

The problem we have is that they forget what they told us on the last visit, or they are so busy looking at their computer that they get up and rush out of the room so they can keep their '15 minutes at the max' visits. This is not the way that medicine is supposed to be practiced.

I'm not afraid to talk to them -- I just can't with mom in the room running the show. The doc will look at me and say 'is that true?' Maybe some adult children are in a position to say "No, not really, she's kinda lying" but I"m not in that position. I tell you the doc seems afraid to take me aside and give me the reality of the situation though. Oh, they're big on compassionate smiles and sympathetic nods and prescribing a scaled to the bones version of PT but that's about it. In some ways, it's not their fault. THere is NO cure for PD and mom has it bad only getting worse so I guess they figure the sunshine and lollipop routine will play out until it can play out no more and reality has to be faced. I think they call it optimism.