I write from the patient's perspective. I was diagnosed with Early Onset ALZ in 2016. My DW and I began our financial education of our children when they began receiving allowances which happened when they entered Kindergarten. We told them they were to save some money, give some money at Church, and keep some to spend. When they got in to High School we began showing them our monthly credit card bills and we showed them how much interest was on the card and if you didn't pay it in full how quickly your debt grew due to interest being accrued. We've never paid interest on a Credit Card. We also showed them the mortgage statements so they could see the actual costs of owning a home.

We had just begun doing Financial and Estate Planning when I was diagnosed. We've arranged for the Medical DPOA, and the Financial DPOA, and set up a Trust. We moved all of our property in to a Trust in my DW's name and we are within 6 mos of the Fifth Anniversary of the Trust. We've done some tweaking of it as some laws in our State Changed. We have set up Sub Trusts, for each of our three children in equal percentages. And we named our now adult children as Trustee upon my DW's death and my DW will do welfare checks on the Trust Law every couple of years. We've encouraged the future Trustees to look over the Trust, Pour Over Wills, Medical Directives and Financial Statements. Being in early and mid 20's neither one has shown a lot of interest in learning about all of the Legal Work we've done to make things easier on them.

We are now experiencing for ourselves how the lack of planning when your parents are deceased and no beneficiaries were made, the whole shooting match is going to have to go through Probate and the Govt is going to take 40% away from the Estate. My MIL never put my FIL's Estate through Probate, he's been dead for 12 yrs. My MIL died a couple of days before Christmas. My BIL is Executor and we were told by the Probate Court this was going to take at least two years to settle. We feel that as far as our children are concerned you can lead the horse to water, but if they don't drink, that becomes their problem. We've done our part.
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very smart
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I feel very fortunate that my parents have always talked about their feelings about death and dying, as well as their preferences and plans, throughout their lives. There was less specific talk about money, but once they were into their 80's, we talked about it a lot, and I am very grateful for that now that I have had to step in to take care of their financial affairs. I have resolved to be forward-thinking and open with my children about these matters as well. Even if there are some things that we've made poor decisions about and would just as soon our kids not know, it is better than surprising them later.
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The article is helpful. Good luck.
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This article was very helpful. My mom's health has rapidly declined over the last 10 months. She has alway been an extremely private person and we have never been aware of her finances. My sisters and I are her caregivers and she has remained at home so far. Because we know nothing about her finances I fear that one day she will simply run out of money. None of us can afford to take over paying her bills or paying her final expenses. I have a lot of fear that if we don't ask her about her finances we will be in for a terrible surprise very soon. Learning a few different ways to approach and open a dialog about her finances is so very helpful. Frankly, I have been dreading even bringing it up and yet I know that my 2 sisters will never do it. I am willing to do it but I just needed some suggestions about how to get things started that won't make it seem like I'm being nosy or God forbid researching my future inheritance. Thank you for this article. Now I feel ready to begin!
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