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6 Signs of Caregiver Burnout

207 Comments

Im so glad I'm not alone - yet I feel for us all - everything I do is never good enough 😑 I don't get why the elderly get so blooming demanding #tired#

I am so glad i found this site. reading the comments make me feel like i am not by myself. Before taking in mom, I used to love life. do the best i can with what i got. now i am the most miserable person, eating my way there too. i tried to understand as a care giver but it is truly hard. i do understanding there are some side effects to medications but when she tells me" if i was living by myself , i will do more" . i am trying to find a place but the waiting list is too long. in the meantime i do need to go back to my routine before mom moved in with me. i used to love reading, gardening, running even when it was cold. but how can you get up to run when someone is consistently yelling your name throughout the night.

14 kids and you are the only one doing all the works. i hope you don't become sick like hypertension, diabetes from all these stress. if u become sick then what. who would take care of you? i learned something in life.. as long you let people take, they will take unless you put your foot down. i am in similar situation but it has only been 5 years on and off. I used to pray a lot but not as much as i would like. i do hope you will find a support group to talk about this
, a counselor maybe.

I so burned out I get angry just hearing her voice. Always so negative and everything I like she seems to hate.

My mom has been living with my husband and myself for a few months. She went to the hospital a few months ago confused and then came to our house but she does nothing she isn't bad of but refuses to help in anyway just eats a lot and messes up my house! I feel at my ropes end I don't know how to approach her without blowing up! Please help

I found this site late Saturday night after being at my road's end. I've had my parents in my home for over 12 years. The last three years have been hell. I've stood by them through surgeries, dr appointments. My dad has heart problems and now vascular sundowner dementia. My mom has one Kidney and Parkinson's disease. In May of 2016, my dad was diagnosed with a-fib and needed the main aorta replaced. Prep and evaluation started in November 2016 and his surgery was in January 2917. A light stroke followed. No siblings helped me with either parent during this time. I went on LOA for 7 months, lost income. I asked in March for one if them to come for a week while I took a break. No responses. All 14 of them loaded up to my house for Thanksgiving and I once again laid out a need for help. I did the legal efforts in November, funeral planning in January, , surgery, home health, cardiac rehab and no help. I've fixed all the VA requests; managed all bills, insurance, cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, driving, etc. I've not taken A vacation in 4 years. My dad is demonstrating all night roaming, bathroom frequency and peeing all over the bathroom. My siblings solutions and comments to me are:

1) it's not about me it's about them
2) decisions are not mine
3) sedate my dad more at night - sleeping pills
4) don't expect money for them
5) don't spend their money
6) I need to lose weight and get married
7) keep doing what I'm doing
8) keep trying to acquire more money for their care

I feel like a failure. I feel abandoned and disrespected. I couldn't wait for all of them to leave my home.

After crying, prayer and reading this site - I realize I must find emotional help for myself and somehow still care for my parents. I feel like I'm in a situation where there's no way for me to win at anything. I am alone. Nothing I ever do will be enough to help my folks and my siblings are totally clueless and jerks. Somehow I know God will help me.

Yes I call it thinking "dark thoughts" and it was starting to happen to me. That's when I just back off - go do my own thing whether it's meeting someone after work for some drinks and venting, or going home and immediately going for a walk or retreating to my room to listen to music. She can stay by herself for now - but I plan on looking into at home care - I will not let my physical and mental health go completely down the drain. Caretakers - take care of yourself!

I just know that I have caregiver stress...burnout. I was feeling a little overwhelmed only after my dad died last year when mom progressed further into Alzheimer dementia...then, when i least needed anymore to deal with, my husband was in a near fatal accident ... he survived but has been home several months recuperating with endless dr appts, physical therapy and lawyer visits...some days I was ready to snap and run away, so to speak...I had a few meltdowns (just crying), took some naps and then was refreshed for a little while until I needed to do it again...it seems to be getting better now; I seem to feel less stressed and overwhelmed for some reason...I'm trying to find new outlets to relax; trying new recipes, taking a drive by myself and not tell anyone where I'm going, and some home remodeling. It seems to be working...I've learned to do a chore list and do only what is most important for that day and put off to the next what can wait a day...it was a struggle to do that but is getting easier. Don't push yourself over the edge to be Super Person because that is only going to make you snap quicker and feel worse...get support from someone close to you even if just to vent for 30 minutes...it works. I still have busy days but at least I'm not so 'crazy' with stress...focus when it seems to be getting stressful and do only what needs to be done. You'll find you won't have to do EVERYTHING on your list that day...really. That was hard for me to do but once you take a good look , it's true. There are some things you can put off for a day, or maybe even 2. Try it... :)

I am new here. I have been a caregiver for years. My story is not unique. I know burnout. My life experiences with aging parents have made me something of a social mutant. My family has stuck together through some pretty tough times. We survive but do not have much energy for other things. It is a matter of keeping life tolerable and manageable. I live by faith. I have "spiritual armor" but it has lots of dents in it. I long for revival and renewal. Burnout makes it difficult.

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OMG I am so sick of game shows and Lawrence Welk. Insane.....