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6 Signs of Caregiver Burnout


My Mom decided she didn't want to deal with it, so she filed for divorce and had him served at their home without him knowing she had been planning on divorcing him. Put the house up for sale immediately after and gave me 2days notice to get him and his stuff out. He's been with me for8 months now and the dementia had progressed rapidly. Sundowning, hallucinating, paranoid, aggressive, mean combative,etc. Had to lock up all knives and sharp things because he thought I was an intruder out to get him and was hiding 2 of my sharpest knives in case he had to slit my throat to get away. He's so scared someone is coming to hurt him. It's constant. Daytime, he's Dr Jekyll... at night he turns into mr. Hyde. It breaks my heart but I'm frustrated exhausted and I've lost total respect for my mother. I don't want to give up on my dad but I don't know how much longer I can keep him safe here because he falls and always lands on his face. I hate that this is happening to him

I guess I have finally lost my sh*t. The endless games got to be too much. Mom is in the hospital after playing games like not eating, drinking or bathing, you name it. Endless mind control games at my expense. I am finally done.
Let the facility have the pleasure. Love isn't enough. I have been pulled through the knot hole until there is nothing left. It is time for me to live my own life. My awakening is now. I am going for it. Family caregivers ... make sure you keep enough of YOU as you travel this road. You get one life, it is all you have.

These articles always talk about caring for parents. I am caring for my husband. Rarely do I see anything that addresses my situation. Parents are not the only ones who need caregiving, but most of the articles I read on this forum seem to only consider parents. There are siblings, spouses, etc. Parents and spouses are two entirely different kinds of caregiving, at least to me, as I have done both. I wish there were more articles devoted to spouses who are care givers, as there are SO many relating to parental caregiving! I have considered just quitting this forum as it seldom addresses my situation, and when it does, it is minimal or not even that helpful, at least for me. I just no longer have time for things that don't even come close to addressing the needs of my situation, caring for my husband and also working full time. I have 2-3 full time jobs and qualify for zero assistance, with only one daughter living close; the other two children could care less. Why is caring for parents the thing that seems to engender the most concern? There are many caring for spouses, yet it seems to be forgotten or of little concern. I have searched this forum and everything seems to be for caring for parents. A lot discouraged here that caring for spouses seems to be ignored.

Im so glad I'm not alone - yet I feel for us all - everything I do is never good enough 😑 I don't get why the elderly get so blooming demanding #tired#

I am so glad i found this site. reading the comments make me feel like i am not by myself. Before taking in mom, I used to love life. do the best i can with what i got. now i am the most miserable person, eating my way there too. i tried to understand as a care giver but it is truly hard. i do understanding there are some side effects to medications but when she tells me" if i was living by myself , i will do more" . i am trying to find a place but the waiting list is too long. in the meantime i do need to go back to my routine before mom moved in with me. i used to love reading, gardening, running even when it was cold. but how can you get up to run when someone is consistently yelling your name throughout the night.

14 kids and you are the only one doing all the works. i hope you don't become sick like hypertension, diabetes from all these stress. if u become sick then what. who would take care of you? i learned something in life.. as long you let people take, they will take unless you put your foot down. i am in similar situation but it has only been 5 years on and off. I used to pray a lot but not as much as i would like. i do hope you will find a support group to talk about this
, a counselor maybe.

I so burned out I get angry just hearing her voice. Always so negative and everything I like she seems to hate.

My mom has been living with my husband and myself for a few months. She went to the hospital a few months ago confused and then came to our house but she does nothing she isn't bad of but refuses to help in anyway just eats a lot and messes up my house! I feel at my ropes end I don't know how to approach her without blowing up! Please help

I found this site late Saturday night after being at my road's end. I've had my parents in my home for over 12 years. The last three years have been hell. I've stood by them through surgeries, dr appointments. My dad has heart problems and now vascular sundowner dementia. My mom has one Kidney and Parkinson's disease. In May of 2016, my dad was diagnosed with a-fib and needed the main aorta replaced. Prep and evaluation started in November 2016 and his surgery was in January 2917. A light stroke followed. No siblings helped me with either parent during this time. I went on LOA for 7 months, lost income. I asked in March for one if them to come for a week while I took a break. No responses. All 14 of them loaded up to my house for Thanksgiving and I once again laid out a need for help. I did the legal efforts in November, funeral planning in January, , surgery, home health, cardiac rehab and no help. I've fixed all the VA requests; managed all bills, insurance, cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands, driving, etc. I've not taken A vacation in 4 years. My dad is demonstrating all night roaming, bathroom frequency and peeing all over the bathroom. My siblings solutions and comments to me are:

1) it's not about me it's about them
2) decisions are not mine
3) sedate my dad more at night - sleeping pills
4) don't expect money for them
5) don't spend their money
6) I need to lose weight and get married
7) keep doing what I'm doing
8) keep trying to acquire more money for their care

I feel like a failure. I feel abandoned and disrespected. I couldn't wait for all of them to leave my home.

After crying, prayer and reading this site - I realize I must find emotional help for myself and somehow still care for my parents. I feel like I'm in a situation where there's no way for me to win at anything. I am alone. Nothing I ever do will be enough to help my folks and my siblings are totally clueless and jerks. Somehow I know God will help me.


Yes I call it thinking "dark thoughts" and it was starting to happen to me. That's when I just back off - go do my own thing whether it's meeting someone after work for some drinks and venting, or going home and immediately going for a walk or retreating to my room to listen to music. She can stay by herself for now - but I plan on looking into at home care - I will not let my physical and mental health go completely down the drain. Caretakers - take care of yourself!