When my mother kept asking to go home my brother asked her to describe her home in detail. As she did, he discovered the home she wanted to return to was not the one she had lived in all her married life. She described her childhood home in great detail. That was significant as it helped us feel less quilt as we thought she was longing to return to the home she lived in for 70 years . From that point on, when she would bring up the subject we would encourage her to talk about what she missed about the home and we would agree with her that it would be a lovely place to visit and see again. That always seemed to satisfy her.

Danamoven can't agree with you as couples have not walked in those lonely shoes my phscaretrist has a different answer as loneliness causes depression also you have lost part of her that will never return so you have to except that so stay active with freinds as loneliness causes lots of health problems so one should not feel guilty

Caring for a loved one with dementia and watching them lose a little more of themselves is depressing and isolating, so just like with cancer or ALS, it is really helpful to share information with others going through the same thing. Knowing what I can do to make things easier and less anxious for my loved one and realizing the reality of having safety nets and respite is so important to me. I would encourage parents who are caregivers for their spouse to have talks with your adult children to let them know you need their help. They may be busy but they want/need to know if they are needed and they don't always see the signs until a crisis occurs. There are resources they can engage to help you out. If you don't have adult children, talk to friends or your pastor. I would encourage lonely caregiver partners to find a married couple you can talk to instead of singles so they don't get the wrong idea and you don't feel guilty. There is no shame in having dementia.

Your description of what happens to the brain of a person with Alzheimer's helps me to have a better understanding. Thank you.

That was a very informative article. Touched on May things going on in my life right now. My husband is about in the middle of his road of dementia. Still quite healthy mainly because I make sure he gets his meds and try to keep him fed. I on the other hand am fading fast from the overwhelming aspect of being a caregiver for the rest of my life. I am unable to leave for too long as he gets anxious. I am so tired of doing everything myself. Making all the decision planning everything we do. I am getting more depressed all the time. I think I getting sick.our kids who I thought would be helpful,are so busy tied up in their own lives that they don't have time for us. I am 80 and my husband is 81. There is no group for caregivers in our area and I don't like to drive too far especially with winter coming on.i just wanted to vent. Sorry if I come across Whitney. I truly enjoy the newsletters and have picked up lots of great tips. Just wanted to let you know caregiving is not for the faint of heart.
Thank you

Very helpful but as a caregiver husband (wife in a home)get lonesome and depressed it's difficult to talk to male freinds as women understand better but not sure how much to get involved as some are single .not sure whatyoumean by reduced stimulation .i spend 6-7 hrs a day with her maybe that's too much

Good article. Mom regresses more each day. Past friends and family are a forgotten memory. Forgetting to chew to nodding off, losing her book, forgetting to lean over while taking a bite and dropping food down her front is a daily occurrence. No matter how much we procrastinate knowing 24/7 care in a facility is coming it does not make it any easier. Don't forget, if something happens to the caregiver, then who cares for them then? Put alternative plans in place for them but take care of your health first. It's hard to swallow but a necessary fact.

my mum is in accelarating denial that she has dementia, I did get her to the docs about 3 years ago, but someone rang up and introduced themselev as part of the mental health team... she put the phone down!! I do not know how far things have progressed, she has massive mood swings, loses everything, forgets all... including looking in the diaryis paranoid about money and thinks people etal from her all the time. definately her cup is only half full.

"Laugher is the music of the Soul" Kahlil Gibran. I refer anyone who is a care giver to read his works as well as the late Hugh Prather's book, ":Spiritual Notes To Myself", among several other books he has written. He was a Dear friend, I miss so much & who taught me much.
Laugher is so very important to anyone's well being.