New times demand new approaches to celebrations!. There were two Christmas times to celebrate while my Mom was clearly past large parties . (We had already skipped Large Thanksgiving celebrations). The first I picked her up from her Memory Care AL and brought her to my home. There were 6 of us for dinner. Hubby and me, her and my brother his wife and son. I had prepared all of them as they live out of state. We picked her up in just enough time to arrive as dinner was almost ready. We ate and sang carols (our family tradiditon). I saw her getting tired and we took her home and had dessert without her later.
The next Christmas, My hubby and I picked her up and took her to a local hotel restaurant. It wasn't a typical holiday meal, it was more of a service to their guests, limited (non-holiday) menu. BUT the lobby was beautifully decorated and there was only one other small group in the restaurant. The waiter saw that my Mom was challenged and was ever so gracious. We had a lovely, quiet celebration and it was a nice change of pace for her. As we passed through the empty lobby on our way out, we stopped and sang 'We wish you a merry Christmas' to the registration staff. They joined in and clapped and smiled. It wasn't a big celebration, but oh so special. That was her last Christmas.

I did avoid the 20+ family parties, it would have been too much for her.
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Amen to that JoAnn29
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I have found a lot of people overwhelm my Mom. An hour is about all she can take. She can't enjoy what is going on because her ability to process is very slow. What I'm saying iss don't plan on being at get togethers long.
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Hubby, 92, doesn't want to go because of having to urinate a lot. He says, also, because he passes gas. He DEFINITELY doesn't want to go. At the party, he sits in one place. Although some folks come over to say hi, there are lonely times just sitting there. I do stay with him. So, it's lonely for me, too. These get togethers will have lots of strangers to both of us. My thought is to have a separate get together of just family in a small setting where food could be pizza or hamburgers.
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At what point do you decide that it is not a good idea to bring your loved one to your home for a holiday gathering? Mom does not do well in a group, and needs to be watched so that she doesn't try to go up the stairs or hurt herself. It is very difficult to "dementia proof" a house. She has started to become angry and aggressive when she is frustrated. Then, when she is returned to her AL, she is disoriented to the point of not recognizing where she is. Does there come a time when it is better for family to visit her at her AL?
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You're doing it! The column references seniors several times. People under 65 also have AD! I recall a time I brought my wife to a holiday party and when people got into conversations with her they were befuddled by her responses. By that time, my wife was unable to maintain a thread of converstion, so her responses did not make sense At the time she was in her mid-fifties and so people probably would not have guessed that the answer was that she suffered from AD.
Ploease do not perpetuate the untruth that only seniors have AD.
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