This is one thing I've thought about as I wonder if I'm approaching slightly "fogginess." I absolutely hate nursing homes. They rob you blind no matter their attributes they like to rave about. Bottom line, it's your last dollar. But you can't take it with you.

I had to put my mom in 2 assisted living centers during her last 8 years. I don't think assisted living centers are particularly honest either, too many variables. There are stories and then other stories. WTF.

I hope to stay in my own place as long as I can. I made the decision to stop driving over 3 months ago. No discussion with family. Only my cat.

No strings sounds a little suspicious. Don't know if there are any in Denver. I have no car anymore so that is one factor.

I'd be inclined to try to find an in home service as a last resort.

A roll of the dice either way.

Is there a website for a list of assisted living facilities that offer this? Sounds perfect for my Dad to try out.

I’m curious why it has to be so one sided with the children of seniors?? If the son wants those parents closer to them it would seem much less of a hassle for them to pack up and move to the area their parents are??? They aren’t Seniors!!!
Where there’s a will there’s a way they say!! And the offspring of the seniors could bend a little if they really want to be closer?? Then again let the seniors choose what they want for the short time they have left to be on this earth.. As long as there is no self harm or neglect.. Let life happen and let them be happy!! We will all be there soon enough!! So it would behoove each of us to bend their ( seniors) way and put ourselves in their shoes once in awhile....

unless they are like my 84 year old mother who’s Schizophrenic and narcissistic and has become very violent verbally and just a difficult mean person, that most of her children have had to walk away from. But we her children still try to keep her happy!!! with boundaries of course..

But this guys parents seem to still have their wits and lives together so I say let them do what they want and don’t guilt trip them all for your peace and your life comforts !!! What ever happens happens!! Life has to be lived!!

My Mom is in AL. She doesn't like it. AL can be used on income tax as a write off if..resident needs skilled nursing. I plan to move her with her 24/7 sitters to try living at home again. Its been a year. Her reality isn't always correct. She knows everything but doesn't. It takes 6 of us plus the AL folks to take care of her 24/7, daily care, washing clothes, getting to & from dining room, to & from doctor, eye doctor, etc. All of us consider her still a fall risk like most older folks that have broken a leg or hip using a walker or rollator. She gets mad when we remind her she left her rollator. She tries to use the wall & furniture to move back & forth when she realizes she did that. If you take medicine, there is a law supposedly that requires a med service to dispense a resident's medicine, $350/month. There is also a pharmacy company that packages meds for the med service at no cost on tab sheets like at the hospital or nursing home to keep meds organized (but you have to watch them also). If changes are made, sometimes everyone doesn't know or get that info. No wonder people go into comas or die. I figure it will be evident rather quickly if she can manage with assistance or not. We're going to try longer stay next time to see how she adapts. It is stressful on her but all of us too. The nursing homes are worse to me unless 100% skilled nursing is needed. But you still have to be there or someone needs to monitor their care. You can't assume anything. The people at these facilities are all sales people or recruiters that you initially meet so you need to ask ?s & pay close attention. Check ratings on line. If you have time pick at least 3, go visit during the day as often as possible. They are for the most part pretty but the staff is what really counts. A lot do have waiting lists so time is of the essence if you need to move your loved one from the hospital to facility for PT. These people everywhere will rush you. Medicare wants your people moved from the hospital quickly whether they are ready or not. You can appeal that decision. Home, PT facility, N.Home, etc. depending on their situation. Everything I think is about cost of care.

We just moved my mother into assisted living after a fall where she broke her wrist and two kneecaps. The only way we got this to work was she went to emergency room, hospital, a nursing home/physical therapy facility directly to the al. She never would have gone if this hadn't happened.She is amazed how positive and wonderful the place is (esp. compared to the NH and hospital). Medicare will not help with payments at all (she is not on medicaid yet), but she has a long-term medical acct that helps defray some of the cost. When that is gone, she will be out of luck. They have levels of care (which you pay for), lots of good things. But so very expensive. We figured cost as much if not more to have someone in her home with 24/7 care as she could not walk or feed herself. She is improving, hopefully care and cost will go down soon. She can move out with 30 day notice if she wants. Hope this helps someone.

My aunt and uncle bounce back and forth between their home and assisted living. They prefer their home, but sometimes my aunt's health requires more attention. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing if the senior has adequate funds to support both.

My father is similar to the story. He wants to make the move when he feels he is ready. He is ready, he just refuses to accept it. The statement in the above about the people using canes, walkers, etc making the couple feel older is exactly what my father would say "makes him feel older" He is 90... he is old. I think there are many parents who are selfish and could care less how worried their children are, and how much time their adult children spend in caring for them as they continue to live 'independently'.

What type of services does medicare & medicaid pay for? Along the lines for someone who has dementia? What criteria has to be met for assisted living to be paid by medicaid?

After 8 months of resistance to considering assisted living, my father accepted an invitation for a temporary stay. This was timely as my sister, his primary cargiver, needed to be out of town for 2 weeks. By the time she returned, Dad has already lined up the movers. 4 months later, he is glad he made the decision to move.

We are so hopeful that this type of stay will convince my husband's 95 year old aunt to make the move. Her current conditions are pretty bad and she refuses all help from us, but her condo building is in need of major repairs - new windows & roofs, new plumbing system etc. so she's forced to move during the repairs! :-) We're keeping our fingers crossed.