thanks! I will indeed!

Well, ok then there are other day cares, maybe that one just wasnt the right one for him. sometimes they don't do it cause they are scared. its the mind set of not being in there "comfort place" at home in there fav chair sleeping all day Try letting him know the day, on the hour you want to bring him, don't tell him the day b4 .cause that leads them to irritability and aggitation, then it will make it more difficult to get him in the car. Keep ur head up and keep trying. good luck.

yes, the day care! I tried that a year ago but he felt 'trapped' and wouldn't even get in the car to go there. I may try it again!

You make some very good points! Thank you

Yes for sure about the stress is a killer!, THEY SAY the caretaker needs to get away for a bit, even if its for a ride to the stores or to a friends house. we seem to focus on them so much we forget about our own health. Its ok to get mad at what is going on, its normal, but we just need to learn different ways to deal with it, there really is alot of help out there for support, you just have to search and ask around. I have had 3 people in my life that have gone through this demetia and it is such a sad thing for the people that have it, just think how it would feel if you couldn't go to the bathroom alone or shower yourself. it is a pride thing and a dependent thing. No one likes to have to have someone doing that for them, cause it means in there mind its over. So we have to reasure them that it is ok and you still have respect for them as you did b4.

I've been taking care of mom for a year now and it's really hard, I sympathize with all of you and God will give us all hugs in heaven for our sacrifice and service here on earth. Hang in there and try to take care of yourselves, too. Stress is a killer, you have to learn to shake your head and bite your tongue without letting things upset you so much. (Wish I could live by my own advice) HAHA

So true. If I get away for a bit, it helps me with my attitude. She has just decided she does not want to do anything I suggest. I struggle with respecting her wishes and still try to encourage without repetition (nagging). It makes me sad that she is choosing to quit trying. That is where my stress comes from.

YOU know that is soo true, cause my mother-inlaw is a good patient for strangers,even though they don't want them in the house, but when she had shoulder surgery we had to have physical thearypy and she did very well. although she really is good with us concidering what other people say they are going through with there parents.

I care for my 87-year-old mother with Alzheimer's and have found the only way I can get her to exercise is to hire a physical therapy student to come in for one hour a day twice a week. I pay her $10/hr cash and she is greatful to get it. Mom will not cooperate with me, but will do whatever this young girl asks her to do. It is also good for her to have interaction with a new person. My mom has had all 7 factors listed in the article.

It is not by any means an easy thing to deal with. Just remember she is just as fustrated as you are if not more!, ask her about when she was younger if there was anything she really enjoyed doing, it may surprise you that somthing like that will stimulate her to do something. Keep a positive attitude at least try I know its not easy. It does help the situation though. The more negitive attiude you have will also bring on more unnessesary stress then is needed.

Everything seems to be such an effort. For her and now for me. It is so difficult to be around a depressed, angry person all the time. I wish I could add something about how to get them moving...but I got nothin'.

I know the exercises is difficult. Music will sometimes make it easier, especially if it is some link from a prior time.

Well it is very hard to convince them to move about at home, they are in there comfort place, so they dont want to do it and feel they can get away with it. Try finding out how the center makes it fun for her and use that at home.

newtonjoyce, I have a hard time getting my mother to move about, but apparently they can convince her at the Day Care (I call it a senior center) she goes to twice a week (Thank you CT Home Care for elders program!).

I agree with you PCVS about the foods, although I am pretty natural. I grind my wheat and bake bread, make granola, have a garden...and still things are getting worse. Tell me what you folks do to get your loved ones moving exercising? It seems everything is a fight except eating, going to bed or going for a ride. I could use your ideas. thanks

Aside from possibly the exercise factor, I think it is too soon to come to these conclusions. Of the seven factors listed, "diabetes, obesity, smoking, depression, low-education, a sedentary lifestyle and high blood pressure" only the last two apply to my mother who has Alzheimers disease. I personally lean toward the change in diet from natural foods to enhanced foods as well as lack of physical labor (or exercise) as being likely candidates for the increase in the various dementias.

Yes, the same here, she always at some point says what do i do now, or always asks where her husband is, or calls out his name even if he is in the same room, just I guess to hear a familiar voice.

I agree about the exercise and having other interests as well.I do pretty much all of the above for my father who is 83. The processing slows and it's "what do I do now."
Or "what happens next" or "what am I suppose to do" I think sleeping all day is a way to not feel lost, yet trying to keep them busy is next to impossible.

I belive that the execise is very important for a demetia person, if they dont get enough or any at all, they can fall deeper into the stages faster as depression sets in.I take care of my mother inlaw whom has vasular demetia and copd, and ostio.. she has had a few tia's,(mini strokes). I Have to give her showers, get her dressed and keep depends on her, make her breakfast, give her her meds etc..she will walk to the bathroom herself when she has to go but, needs some assitence in the sanitary area.She can't drive, or cary on conversation anymore, do bills or anything like that, her 88 yr old husband does that. he helps alot as he is still physicaly fit to do so.She use to do crossword puzzzels every afternoon and read, doesn't do it anymore as she cant process anymore. Its very hard to tell her husband how to go about things with her, but he is learning the more he admits she has this problem.I also have to make sure she eats cause she will say I don;t like everything.