My anxiety comes when I feel out of control and not being able to fix everything this is what's in my head so that I can't fall asleep at night. Then I start thinking about a beautiful place with blue water or sitting on top of a mountain with a warm breeze against my face and sometime I'll sing softly to myself then I'm out. This website helps too, knowing that were in this together.

Agreed that "deep breathing, can instantly lower the physical symptoms and mental worry associated with anxiety" It's one of my favorite post, keep it up!

A compay which can help people with an spiritual way, whoever suffering from mental illness i am following: linkedincompany/trivedi-effect

I have just started caring full time for my dad. He is 93 and is doing well but recently had a fall which put him in the hospital for 3 days. He then went to rehab and was very upset about being there - felt locked up. They adjusted his blood pressure meds at the hospital and now he is getting around better. Would not use a walker but has to use a cane all the time We have all kinds of services coming in to get care established….make sure house is safe. I am overwhelmed. I have good support from husband and children. I searched for a caregivers support group but the ones I found were very specific to a disease - cancer patients etc.

'Compassionately Indifferent' are two wonderful words to master. I have an 86yr dad with dementia and an elderly 82yr old frail aunt who does not live with me, and both have been accepted to go into a good facility. We are placing my dad into one on the 17 November, but the aunt refuses to go, and naturally has needs. She has no kids of her own and she needs her shopping done or a doctor ens. She refuses to go and my sister and I have tried to help and still do, but we're pretty wiped out with my dad already. My sister works full-time and have not been so well of late either. I am diabetic and have my 'off' days. I have not given my new feelings a word, but knew that if I don't detach myself to a degree, I would have to take the consequences for my health. So I have learnt how to become 'compassionately indifferent' and not run like mad every time they want something. They refused the help which would have made it unnecessary for them to be in need, and now I do it in my own time, if and when I can, without the guilt. But they are not abandoned.

Try not to plan things too close together. Put things in God's hands if you are a praying person. I get bent out of shape over the least thing. I have to remember what is important at the time. Deal with other things of less importants later. Verna

I am so thankful that I read this article. I take care of my mother along with my brother, and I am full of anxiety and constantly worrying. How will I do this, and how will I do that, and is she being given the best care. I lay in bed at night worrying about everything from what has already happened to what will the next day be like. I plan on printing this article, and keeping it on a mirror in my bathroom.

I thought I could handle just about anything, but after 10 years of taking care of my mother, when my family pitted against me now has brought eczema into my life (which I never had before). It's a misery no one wants to endure... My dr told me a few years ago that stress is accumulative... I guess I found out.

I really enjoyed the tips for anxiety, we all need to take time to relax
Thanks
Carol

I totally agree with it. It's exactly what I do and it helps EVERY time.

I recommend learning about the importance of self care and self compassion. As a Counselor I work with clients who have anxiety to recognize what is there's to be responsible for, what might be someone else's responsibility that they are avoiding and how they can create a system to delegate some tasks to others, and asking for help. A focus on self care and self compassion is the foundation of reducing caregiver anxiety.

tension is not to be confused with stress, duress or anything else. tension is simply sitting around with muscles wound up. the tight muscles restrict blood flow and burn energy -- producing more waste in your bloodstream at a time your supposed to be relaxing. usually its chest and upper arms that we tense up. this tension can be remedied by simply understanding what it is and conciously relaxing those muscles every time you feel them winding up. in only a few days you begin to break this bad habit.
now im looking for a way to cope with annoying people and their needy, illtrained pets.

I understand everyone's views on medications, but I think we are responsible for learning everything we can about medications and should keep a log of how it impacts us or those we take care of. Doctors have a brief time with us, but we have the power to go back to them with concerns. Anxiety can be a true illness that leads to more illnesses. It needs to be dealt with through the method that works the best with the least side effects. The thing we all need to remember is that we have to be well enough to be caregivers, and anxiety can rob us of being healthy. I have enjoyed reading this article and the discussion that has followed. I hope those of us who experience anxiety will explore options and find what works for us, because there isn't just one way to deal with it.

THE SUGGESTIONS IN THIS ARTICLE IS SO RIGHT ON!! BUT ONE THINK THAT WE NEED TO DO IS LOBBY FOR THE CAREGIVER TO WORK A 4 DAY WEEK!! ONLY CAREGIVERS REALIZES THAT WE DON'T HAVE ANOTHER TIME!!!

Yes, exploring and researching is key! As noted with your husband this medication was helpful and living with suffering is not living,it is existing. Yes, drugs are often necessary. My FIL is a difficult person without his Patch. Thanks for the dialogue jeannegibbs. All the best!

Batshevaw, it sounds like your statement, " I don't believe in medications" means "I don't believe in using medications without exploring the alternatives and researching the drug first." Would you say that is a fair conclusion? If so, I definitely agree with you.

Seroquel was certainly not the correct medication for your FIL. It is exactly the right medication for my husband, (now 85) who has taken it for 7 years. I am extremely grateful for this drug and for the specialists who recognized it might be appropriate and who were willing to closely monitor the results. Treating human beings (with drugs or without) is infinitely more complicated than developing heating systems or even exploring outer space, because each person is unique. Still, I can't think of a more worthy use of our intelligence than directing it at ways to cure or at least alleviate suffering. (Too bad profit muddies this noble aspiration.)

I think this article is right on, in advocating alternative ways of managing anxiety, but also acknowledging that in some cases medical care, including drugs, may be necessary.

Regarding medication: We have become a nation of pill poppers. Headache take this, a pain or ache take that. There is a pill for everything. Unfortunately the side affects of many medications are more serious than the original illness. These chemicals actually change you, which is much more invasive than central air conditioning. A doctor put my father-in-law on serequel, and he was unable to walk, and was not sure where he was, could not hold a conversation. Thank G-d for the internet and after much research this drug was not recommended for seniors and the drug company was being sued. Six months off this medication and my father-in-law is doing 90% better. In short just do your homework and be more educated when speaking with your doctor.

Often articles that offer 6 ways to do something or 7 ways to improve something are pretty lame and superficial. This one is a nice exception. Concise, practical, and specific. There are really some things here to try. I congratulate the author.

Eliza, thank you for sharing the compassionate indifference concept. It is definitely something to think about and perhaps move toward.

Batshevaw, I've never thought about medications as something to believe in or not, any more than I've considered whether I believe in central heating or indoor plumbing. It is just something that we humans have used our intelligence to develop for our own well-being. Our intelligence is a natural part of us as a species, and in that sense central heating and indoor plumbing and the pills I take for a life-threating lipid problem or for diabetes or for depression are "natural" in my mind. I think your use of exercise is commendable, and its the one thing I think this article could have stressed a little more.

I think learning to become compassionately indifferent is the key and the challenge. I have found exercising everyday the key to relieving stress and anxiety. I get up very early before my father-in-law arises and do stretching and weights. I try also to go for an hour swim once a week. I don't believe in medications but when my stress level wouldn't go down and I was experiencing stroke like symptoms I started an antipressesant which really helped with no apparant side effects. Caring for an elderly person with dimentia, family and working is a lot, but keeping loved ones out of neglectful nursing homes is worth the stress to me.

I have been taking care of my mother who has dementia and cancer for the past 7 years. At first I thought I can do this. Well, as my son turned into a teen and my mother got worse; I thought I could never continue. My days grew longer and my stress level became higher. I had constant worries and problems arise. I thank God I have a level head and went to a Doctor. He put me on anti-depressants and anti anxiety medicine. I believe in prayer and I set up alone time to pray. I also use meditation as a stress reliever as well as take walks whenever I can. I have found other friends that are caregivers. It helps to talk to them to know you are not alone and to get tips. I must say I am so happy to be able to take care of my mother. I am learning to take one day at a time and not to think of the inevitable. That is the key try to live moment to moment. Enjoy the ones you are taking care of.

I read on a yoga newsletter that one should develop being "compassionately indifferent". At first I thought that was not a positive way to live your life but as I am entering my 4th month with two sick and elderly inlaws living with me, I am believing it is a very good thing. It means you are caring and do what you have to do and communicate care and love but you dont internalize their fears and pains and anger. I am learning not to be responsible for their happiness. I am giving them a safe and comfortable environment with their grandsons coming and going three good meals a day and I that they are immensely better off than they would be if still in Florida. It is hard to develop but try becoming compassionately indifferent. All health care professionals and caregivers have mastered it or they would not be able to continue in their stressful jobs.

I found that a nice cup of coffee savored over is very relaxing. Of course I can only do this when I have a little time for myself. The best thing I can recommend is get thee to a monthly caregivers support group! And soon after that, get the book, "The Power" by Rhonda Byrne from your local library. And read it. Twice. Take notes if possible.