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Signs a Senior Needs Help at Home


My parents have just started needing some help...someone to come in and do some housework and help with some meal preparation, etc. My mom welcomes it as she can bearly stand up...Dad is more resistant and doesn't want to spend money on this type of care. We have been trying to convince him that this is a good thing to spend his money on and why is he saving it! He's 93 and Mom is 88!

I shouldn't have clicked on this check list---mother has most of the "signs". She lives with brother's family in a small apt. Even so, it's filthy and neglected and she will not allow anyone to clean it, except my 17 yo niece who has no clue to what she's doing. Yesterday I spent 2 hours untangling a problem with an item she'd returned to a catalog company. It wasn't a huge deal, but it will impact her credit score (at almost 90, who cares?) I also asked her to close the acct., and she really didn't have a choice. I BEGGED her to please stop ordering things but she can't..she can't shop any more and loves to buy whatever she wants. I think this is all in lieu of actually having a life...I also wish I could get brother to see that Assisted Living would be SO MUCH BETTER for her. He thinks they'll lock her in and she'll be miserable...I'm going to check into it anyway. If we let her dementia get much worse, she'll be in a memory care facility and I'd rather not see that for her until it's absolutely necessary. (I'm positive his concerns are about the cost of an ALF and the impact on her finances when she dies. He's counting on an inheritance. I'm not.

Thank you for sharing this check list, I knew my mother was failing this just confirmed it in my mind. She feels I am picking on her at times. but I am just pointing out the reasons she should maybe look for alternative living. My mother is turning 80, an old 80. She is in poor health, drinks excessively, has high blood pressure (I think from drinking) and lives in her own home alone. She has a large lot and can't keep up with it. I live 3hrs away and get down around once a month, more in nicer weather. I wish she could see how much happier and less of a struggle it would be for both of us if she were to move into assisted living. I've mentioned it and she tears a strip off of me. It is a very stressful time.

Thanks for sharing this! The signs are spot-on.

Elders don't want to admit they need help, it's daunting that they have reached this point. Explain that they don't need a nurse, they just need an extra pair of hands around the house, they will become much more receptive. Owning EvergreenChoice in NYC, I have found this works. Good luck

Since I had written my answer on this thread almost a year ago, both my parents had passed, they were in their 90's. They kept telling me "we can manage" and I took them at their word. What they needed mostly was someone to drive there all over hill and dale, get groceries, take them shopping, ton of doctor appointments. etc. I was a senior citizen myself, I was no longer that 25 year old with a ton of energy.

My parents were in denial about their age/health and I was also in denial regarding their ability to age at home. Mom refused caregivers and cleaning crews. Not in HER house. Then there were the many calls that Dad had fallen and I couldn't pick him up, so 911 was called. Dad admitted that he and Mom have fallen down the stairs numerous times. Good grief, why are they still in THAT house? A team of wild horses couldn't make them budge.

Modern science can keep a person living into their early 100's, but that means the oldest adult child could be in their early 80's, thus very difficult to be a parent's caregiver. Thus the 50 or 60 something year old adult grandchild winds up cargiving for his/her own parents plus the grandparents on both sides if still alive [6 elders].... if married, maybe 8 elders.

Hopefully the current generation of family caregivers will start to downsize on their own after seeing all they had to go through with their own parent(s). And save big time to help pay for Independent Living facility and later Assisted Living/Memory Care. Aging at home can be exhausting to the adult child caregiver.... 40% of caregivers pass leaving behind a love one who needs care.

Sheba16 I enjoyed reading such simple practical advice. Seeing your paid home carer as a treat is having a really
posítive outlook & is taking
responsibility for your own
well being. Tips for
budgeting are great. Thanks & best wishes to you.

my parents fall into a few of these categories. Thanks for the help

The new comment page is amazing thank you for changing my life, AgingCare.com


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