You learn alot about people and you learn alot about yourself when you have a parent who obviously has dementia in a wheelchair. For the most part I take her with me on all shopping &errands and we go on outings daily. I've met alot of people who were glad to have her and they do come up, especially moms with kids and talk to her. True there have been negatives, but the one thing I found disturbing is when people assume you are "paid help".
We were at a imaging center for a test that required her to drink a large glass of liquid before the CT scan. I had to coax her and she really was resistant, although some people helped out with kind encouragement and we got her a straw. Finally when she finished the glass she gave me a smile and a big hug and I hugged her back proudly congratulating her. At that point one woman who had been looking on with a smile looked confused and said - oh my god, your're her daughter.......you were so nice, how do you manage to deal with that, I'd never do that for my mom. I found it incredibly sad and a bit ironic.
Other than that I rarely care what anyone says or thinks that is negative. If they are not nice - or there is a problem w/ ADA I don't let it get to me, we just joke & keep on going.
Carol, how awful to get dementia so quickly and without warning. You are pretty strong. my mom used to do the royal wave when we drove down the street. She waved to everybody with all the seriousness of the Duchess of Cornwall. Wow, what a memory of mom. She was amazing and like I always say: the bravest person I have ever met. lovbob
We are out in the public ALOT so I am having business cards printed to give to people. Mom loves to "visit" but often says things that do not make sense. I am going to put ALZ statistics on one side and a personal note from our family on the other. "We've chosen to keep MeMaw with us as she takes her journey with ALZ. Thanks for your kindness to her today! God bless you." That way, I do not have to say anything in front of Mom and it helps others awareness of ALZ. I see so many caregivers out nowadays and always try to speak to them and tell them how encouraged I am to see them continuing to love and care for their family.
like any one suffering from an illness that can not be hidden, people are unpredictable in their reactions. i say be your self & stand tall . other peoples opinions of us is none of our concerns. also some times our perceptions of what other people think can be inaccurate so it is in our best interest not waste our energy on such matters. nameste
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Coping with the Stigma of Dementia
We were at a imaging center for a test that required her to drink a large glass of liquid before the CT scan. I had to coax her and she really was resistant, although some people helped out with kind encouragement and we got her a straw. Finally when she finished the glass she gave me a smile and a big hug and I hugged her back proudly congratulating her. At that point one woman who had been looking on with a smile looked confused and said - oh my god, your're her daughter.......you were so nice, how do you manage to deal with that, I'd never do that for my mom. I found it incredibly sad and a bit ironic.
Other than that I rarely care what anyone says or thinks that is negative. If they are not nice - or there is a problem w/ ADA I don't let it get to me, we just joke & keep on going.
Carol,
how awful to get dementia so quickly and without warning. You are pretty strong.
my mom used to do the royal wave when we drove down the street. She waved to everybody with all the seriousness of the Duchess of Cornwall. Wow, what a memory of mom. She was amazing and like I always say:
the bravest person I have ever met.
lovbob
i say be your self & stand tall . other peoples opinions of us is none of our concerns. also some times our perceptions of what other people think can be inaccurate so it is in our best interest not waste our energy on such matters.
nameste