Hi everyone, as part of my domiciliary hearing care in South London UK I see a couple of patients with dementia every week. A message that I would like to share with the community is that research has found a direct line between dementia and hearing loss. Please if you have elderly parents or relatives encourage them to have a hearing test. Thank you.

We had a birthday party yesterday for my granddaughter. My 82 year old mother came to the party, she usually doesn’t come to my grandchildren’s birthday parties. I got her up front when we singing happy birthday to my one year old granddaughter. Out of nowhere she hit me on my back everyone one could here it. She said there was a bug on my back. Today my back where she hit me is really sore and I have good size lump.
She gets kind of forgetful, ove the last 14 to15 she’s gotten more aggressive.

How to know? Trust your gut. You don't have to be a neuroscientist to know that something is "off."

If you suspect dementia, it probably is dementia. Even if your loved one knows what day it is, know who's president and knows your name. There are many types of dememtia. Several varieties manifest via aberrant beliefs, rigid thinking, apathy and diminished reasoning.

It sucks. Because you're the one who has to do all the changing. (If you figure out how to be two places at once, please let us know!)

I know someone with frontal lobe dementia and its a frightening outlook for the family.

My father is 83 years old and lost his wife (3 years ago) my Mother, they were married for 58years. I seen changes in my father at first I thought he was grieving and as time has past he started asking me the same questions and continuously asked names of family members and how many children do they have and their names. I see my father every week and he asks me the same questions every week.

I have noticed a lot more bruises on his legs and arms and when I ask what happens he says he don't know how it got their and is supprised that he has the bruise then says its ok nothing to worry about.

I often ask him if he is coping and he says to me that I worry too much he is ok but I can see he is not ok. He lives on his own about 90km from where I live and I tell him that I worry all the time for him and he says to me don't worry I am ok

my dad is 93 seems to no everything mows the yard and chores however he does everything by the clock a time to eat , do laundry , walks, But lately hes has been very jealous or very angry when I have company, living next door he embarreses me.comes over just to see who is here, Dont know if this is mental or alzheimers, but am very concernes ,, what to do

People in the comments who are wondering what to do, I would say first what needs to happen somehow is a checkup with a doctor. If you have to tell the elder in denial that it is just a checkup, but ask the doctor to check fully as you are concerned, or have some authority in the town nearest them visit them and check up in case you might need to arrange for help or take control... Since the 'chitchat' part of the brain stays relatively good compared to the deteriorating parts, your elder can fool you! But the doctor (esp. a geriatric specialist) will know what to look for. We didn't find out that my elder's brain had shrunken visibly on a scan until the doctor requested tests because he thought to ask her questions such as, "if I have seven quarters, how much money do I have?" persistently and see through her attempts at deflecting the question with social chitchat.

my husband had a stroke in March of this year. He also has dementia and the last few days he is more confused, agitated, angry, verbally abusive, having trouble with the TV, phone etc. Is there any help for him or is this the way it's going to be from now on and how do I deal with it?

My mom is almost 94 and was still living on her own until about two months ago. She fell and hit her head, luckily we had got a life alert button to wear around her neck and she had enough sense to use it. She wound up in the hospital and stayed for about four days while they evaluated her. Her doctor suggested we send her to a rehabilation facility because she was having some problems walking (even with a walker). They did physical therapy and occupational therapy and told us she was not improving. They also said she had signs of dementia. I knew she was forgetful and all but I attributed it to her age. Since she has been in the rehabilation facility she seems to be going down hill. She says things that don't make any sense and ask about family members who have been dead for decades. It is very difficult to see my mom in this downward spiral. I just want to cry every time I visit her and I want to pick her up like a baby and take her home but I know I can't because I work a full time job. I am so depressed, I know this might sound awful but I pray and ask God to just take her home.

my mother she picks her self and she thinks there is something she is picking, I ask her what are you picking and she don't know is this apart of the dementia

My father lives alone on top of a mountain in Tennessee. I am in California and have not seen him since I was 9. We talk on the phone but he asks me the same questions over and over and forgets that we've talked about it. I have no idea how he's caring for himself or who to contact. He is in his 70's. What do I do?

My mother still has a fairly good memory for her age (87), but needs more time to take things in than she used to. She was very stubborn and refused to admit that she and my father needed homecare, and often refused to admit to needing other forms of help such as a hearing aid or a walker. When she became depressed we found a geriatric psychiatrist for her, who put her on Lexapro to stabilize her mood. This worked very well, and she has been taking it at a fairly low dose for eight years with no side-affects. When she became concerned about her memory three years ago, her psychiatrist suggested that we try Namenda to improve her memory. It didn't seem to affect her memory, but it did affect her personality, making her less anxious, more open to suggestions, and less combative. There have been no apparent side-effects. When she missed her dose of Lexapro for several days, she became anxious and combative - which stopped once she resumed the Lexapro. Since her best mental state seemed to be the result of the Lexapro/Namenda combination her psych has kept her on both medications at the lowest effective dosage, and this has been working well for the last three years. These drugs won't be effective for everyone, but I think they are worth mentioning to your doctor. Treatment by a geriatric psyciatrist or a geriatrician is best, if possible since any medication may work differently for an older patient than for a young or middle-aged patient. And because the patient's other health concerns need to be taken into account. Any change in a drug regime needs to be monitored closely, by the doctor,
for the first couple of months, since side-effects and bad interactions can take several weeks to show up, and won't always be the ones that are already known about.
The Namenda may have helped slow the decline in my mother's memory but it did not improve it. The positive effect on her mental health is an unexpected
benefit, but drugs sometimes have effects that they were not tested for, and the effects may vary with the patient.

Finding a geriatric dr would be a blessing for me also. Mom wasn't acting like herself. She couldn't find her words to talk, then whenever she "would speak", her voice would trail off into silence and not making any sense. She lives in an assisted living facility, called the nurse supervisor and she said she hadn't noticed any changes. I requested she go visit with her for a short time, then the discovered something was wrong. First thing to check is for a UTI, this REALLY messes' with thier mind. I had no idea this happend. She's been on antibiotics almost two weeks but still not back to herself and possibly may never get back to where she was. Her great grandson will be here this weekend, he's only 1 yr old.
It sure will be interesting to see how she reacts.
Now that I know she's playing me, I'm not going to say much, just see how she interacts with everyone here and watch her. IF she comes over.
This has been one of the most difficult times in my life and know more is coming. I pray to God he gives me strength to get past through these tough times.
and God Bless everyone.

I am so lost! My mom is having signs of Demtia along with my father. My mom yells and screams at me and my brother when we come to try and visit them, She won't take her meds as prescribed because she said that the pharmacy is trying to kill her by giving her the wrong pills, My father just seems to cry all the time and he is forgetting to pay bills.. I have tried to get them to go to Assisted Living, but they refuse because then "someone else" along with us kids will know what is going on. My parent's doctor refuses to listen to me or my brother, I am at my witts end... I don't have any idea as to what to do or how to help them anymore. If I say anything my mom YELLS at me a swears at me and tells me I don't have any idea what I am talking about. She even thinks that her Blood glucose meter takes her Protime... I can't convince her otherwise. She can't even work a telephone anymore Please some one, can you please give me a starting place as to how I can keep my parents safe???

:-D That would have been funny indeed about the names.

I remember looking over the things that were on the test that doctors use to determine if someone has dementia. I kept saying, "She couldn't do that to start with" to almost every part of the test. I thought maybe she could tell the time, but I don't know if she would be able to draw the hands to represent the time. Maybe. She's never had to do anything for herself. She isn't dumb. She is good with things like game shows on TV or crosswords. But practical sense has never been a strong suit with her.

I hear ya, JessieBelle! Many years ago my mother had some kind of a seizure, and the doctor was trying to establish a baseline and understand what lead up to it. Several of her 7 kids were present and the doctor asked if Mother had been forgetful lately. We looked at each other, trying to figure out how to answer that. Well, the doctor tried to be helpful, does she have grandchildren? Yes. Does she remember all their names? In spite of the seriousness of the situation we all burst out laughing. From childhood forward she never got our own names right. To expect her to correctly name grandchildren seemed preposterous.

So, yes, you have to put the symptoms and clues in context. If your mother has always been this way, she has learned ways to cope with her limitations. If she no longer remembers her coping skills, I'd worry. If she develops new or much more severe impairments, I'd consider dementia a possibility.

For example, if my mother called me by her sister's name, that wouldn't faze me -- business as usual. But if she started acting as if she thought I WAS her sister, then I'd know something new was wrong. She only has a (severe) problem with names, but she has never been confused about who people are.

The main thing, I think, is to keep an eye on your mom so you will notice if/when she needs more help and supervision to be safe.

Good luck!

I have a hard time telling if my mother has dementia, because I do not have a good point of reference for her. She has never handled the checkbooks or any of the family business. She has always had trouble reading and following directions. Spatial relations and future planning have always been foreign to her. I wonder if she took a test for dementia if she would be diagnosed, even if she is not. I have a hard time telling.

Has anyone taken their parents to geriatric dr? I think this is abetter choice then a family practioner and they will have caregiver services. For caregiver support look up visiting nurse service of new york, NYC dept of aging or your local dept of health or social services. Look for support groups from Alzhemiers groups.

She was in the hospital for pneumonia, Pink, and they put her on Abilify. Why -- what were the symptoms they were trying to treat? And then Rehab has her on Ativan and Seroquel. Again, what symptoms are they trying to treat? She has symptoms from these pills (or at least that you think are from the pills) but she must have some symptoms before she takes the pills, that the pills are trying to treat. I'm confused. If she was "her old self" after stopping the Abilify, why would the Rehab think they needed to give her different pills?

Did the two neurologist that said she does not have Alzheimers test her, or did they dismiss it out of hand? Did they mean she did not have any kind of dementia, or that she didn't have Alzheimers but could have some other kind of dementia? Did either of these two doctors specialize in diagnosing and treating dementia?

I think that I would take Mother, as soon as she is through rehab, to a geriatric psychiatirst. Frankly, I doubt that a rehab center for recovering after pneumonia is qualified to prescribe drugs like Seroquel. I think that is pretty scary without a better diagnosis for what is wrong. (My husband takes Seroquel. I'm definitely not anto-Seroquel. But I'm against handing out powerful drugs, especially to the elderly, without careful diagnosis by qualified medical care providers.)

I hate to ask the obvious, but has a UTI been ruled out?

Channel that worry into constructive research. Locate a doctor experienced in diagnosing and treating elderly persons for the kinds of symptoms your mother has when she is not on drugs.Even if you have to travel some, or wait for an appointment, seeing the right kind of doctor will be worth it. Meanwhile, keep a notebook of your mother's symptoms, what drugs she is on, etc.

Best of luck to you on this difficult journey.

My Mum is 90, and within the last 3 months has started showing "dementia like" symptoms. Although 2 neurologists have said she does not have Alzeheimers, the rehab that she has recently been in after pneumonia, is telling me she has dementia. The sadness, fear and confusion she is experiencing is something new. The hospital, without my knowledge put her on Abilify and she became a wild woman! I did some research and insisted that she be taken off it. Once she was, she was her old self again. Now the rehab has her on Ativan, and Seroquel, and she's back to being confused, forgetful, sleepy and depressed. I'm a wreck and don't seem to be getting any clear answers from anyone. She does have A-Fib and high blood pressure, but is otherwise healthy. Her seemingly quick and unexplainable decline, is scaring the life out of me and I am consumed with worry.
I welcome any thoughts..........

My mother had a massive stroke over 9 years ago, and last January was hospitalized (she was on her death bed) At this time, I have hospice. I have been taking care of my mother in her own house for all these years. Unfortunately, it is getting more difficult....she has this compulsion where she feels like she has to go to the bathroom all the time. She has more false alarms. You actually feel like you are going out of your mind with her. Remember she has had a stroke....she is a heavy woman too. I have taken my mom to an Urologist...have had many UTI tests. Any suggestions.....I was thinking she is starting to have dementia. Mary

I saw many of these symptoms in my parent long before anyone would consider him "elderly." I think using the term elderly may give the wrong impression about who can exhibit these behaviors.

Thank you, and yes I do plan to pursue the issue. I read somewhere that although doctors were discouraged and even warned against the use of Zyprexa with the elderly, they were free to prescribe it to anyone. That seems a bit reckless.

Karentaylor,

Sorry to hear about your loss. My mother died about 7 years ago from lung cancer. I'm sure that she would not have lasted too many more months anyway, but owing to some questionable moves by her doctor, her death came right out of nowhere. It was like, "Well, with lung cancer there's an ever-present danger of fluid build-up, aka pleural effusion. And of course, NORMALLY a routine thoracentesis (fluid removal) could provide temporary - or even longer - relief. But since we have her on a high maintenance dose of Coumadin (blood thinner), no surgery of any kind is possible. So let's just pump her full of morphine and you can go meet with the hospice representatives. Next."

My God, if I'd had any idea that they would be such laissez faire boobs, I would have run out and bought a pulse oximeter and stethoscope on Day 1. Plotted all my measurements in Excel, and known my mother's breathing status inside and out. No way that a massive pleural effusion could sneak up on me. We could have easily tapered off the Coumadin / Warfarin / rat poison in plenty of time for surgery.

But, as you say, nothing could bring her back.

Anyway, your mother's Dr. probably refuses to meet with you because he is now in serious damage control mode, since Zyprexa is such a well-known no-no with elderly dementia patients.

Back in 2004:

"Eli Lilly is reported to have voluntarily informed doctors that its antipsychotic medication Zyprexa (olanzapine) may increase the likelihood of strokes and deaths in elderly patients."

And:

"In 2009 Elli Lilly, the makers of olanzapine (Zyprexa), pled guilty and paid $1.4 billion to the federal government for allegedly targeting doctors who worked in nursing homes and assisted living facilities to prescribe olanzapine off-label to elderly patients with dementia."

("off-label" means that patients are "being given them for reasons for which they have not approved")

Finally:

"The company said it has no plans to seek approval for use of Zyprexa to treat elderly patients with dementia."

karentaylor, I think I would pursue this if I were you. I am not a big fan of suing doctors. I don't think doctors can be expected to be perfect any more than those of other professions. So I'm not sure I'd attempt suing him in the sense of going after monetary compensation, but I would want to raise awareness of inappropriate medication use. Perhaps if he would talk to you and explain why he chose to ignore the general warning -- what factors lead him to take that risk -- you would have some peace.

Does he work in a clinic? Since he will not meet with you, perhaps you should set up an appointment with the head of the clinic. If you attitude is that you are not out to punish that doctor, but to see to it that other doctors are aware of this risk and to safeguard the health of other edlerly patients, you may have a better chance at success.

Please let us know how this unfolds for you. We care.

My mother, who had dementia, was prescribed Zyprexa, which is not approved by the FDA for elderly dementia patients, but rather is warned against its use, died a week ago today -- after being on the drug for 22 days. Her sudden illness, elevated sugar levels, and other symptoms all confirm that it was the use of Zyprexa which led to her stroke and subsequent death. Does anyone know if I have any recourse? I know nothing will bring her back, but I just cannot understand why the Dr. would have done that. He refuses to meet with me.

I am very thankfull for information about cargivers.
I am the cargiver for my 91 year godmother(she has no kids). The are four family members helping out and a paid cargiver. But I am the one with the most time with her. She has had 2 stroke a hearth attack and has fell 3 times, but family members don't want to put her in a nursing home.
She forgets the days of the week , the months, and even put her clothes on baclwards and want to fight with because tell her that they are on wrong. She sleeps her money in her bar. She wears a panty brife and panties. Shes eats like a bird and says she will gain weight if she any more. I really need to have patients with she , it;s so hard to do . So is there class or sometingh that I can attend .
Need help

This article was so helpful to me. Thank you so much for explaining what my doctor didn't.

My dad is 78 he doesn't think he forgets anything, but he does. He doesn't remember who told him what or when. I'll tell him a story today and tomorrow he will tell me someone told him....and he will repeat the story I told him. He moves his truck in the morning because he doesn't want it in the sun. So he pulls it across the street under the two trees. He washes everything with a hose in the yard. Today he washed the bench, but not the flowers that are dying from having no water. He is also very arugmentive lately. I tried to tell him these things and he gets very mad and says there is something wrong with me. Please any advise will be appreciated.

Maure, you are not alone, but may feel like you are the only one going through this. The best thing I have found in this situation is to get to know the AL people well. Talk to them about your concerns. My mom's AL dispensed her meds from "bubble-packs" for a small monthly fee. Get help and intervention with people your mom is used to seeing everyday, and remember you are not alone in this...hope this helps. :)