I have no clue how to console my Aunt she's on hospice almost 9 months now ,for vascular dementia/ Alzheimer's, she's done everything that she set her mind to do and completed it ,except now she's been what I call the in between stage of life and death my Aunt tells me she's dyeing then I pray with her I sit with her I tell her I love her and I'm so happy that GOD brought us together to be able to bond ,I've told her that I will always remember her and love her even when she's moved on to Heaven, but its still so hard to handel to watch her life leaving its vessel that I just can not stop crying I try to be tough but the tears just flow and this darn Alzheimer's its so brutal the disease just goes ON &ON & ON forever and ever...........I probably am not very much consolation because I have always been a heart on my sleeve person I too am looking for the Right words to come out of my mouth, then I wonder if I should just stay away a little bit more maybe she wants privacy to move on .
Information is very important to dispel fear of death. There is a free digital book, that has obtained a wide success on this matter: google "Dying is beautiful"
Cheyenne, I think it's a lot like waiting for your kids to ask before you talk about the birds and bees, sometimes they never ask or ask too late. Find a way to bring it up as part of a normal conversation, reading the obit of a friend or public figure would be a good time to segue into a larger discussion.
I find the article itself only somewhat relevant. Most of the points really seem to pertain more to a mentally competent individual receiving a terminal diagnosis. Many elders lost independence and control of their lives years ago and are already isolated in their home or a facility. I'm also uncertain that someone with dementia gives any thought to whether their lives have been meaningful. And unfortunately far too often they are still dying alone and in pain, whether because they have no immediate family to advocate for them or the family is in denial. I told my mom that we would do whatever we can to be with her and care for her at that time, but I wonder if the underlying fear of death is what keeps her here fighting long after her quality of life is worth the battle.
I looked up this am about the patient living and dying. My main question is: Hubby with dementia will say he's glad he's living. When, and if, do we talk about him dying? (We have all of our trusts and financial stuff taken care of) I don't think he's afraid of dying in itself as he's seen many of his older family die throughout his 93 years. We are religious. Personally, I have no FEAR of death. Like all, I just wonder what it's like on the other side. So, do I bring up the subject? Or let it come up by itself? I have reassured him all will be ok and that I love him very much. His kids have also done this. Thank you.
Our dad is approaching his final days. We are flying out to be with him and have a much fun as possible while fixing his favorite meals. That's the best thing we can think of to do for him.
Very insightful article that I hope my son can read. I am one of those "seniors" who never planned "retirement". If you haven't yet, make sure that you do. It is not what I expected. I learned a great deal from this article myself.
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How to Console a Senior Who Is Afraid of Dying
I find the article itself only somewhat relevant. Most of the points really seem to pertain more to a mentally competent individual receiving a terminal diagnosis. Many elders lost independence and control of their lives years ago and are already isolated in their home or a facility. I'm also uncertain that someone with dementia gives any thought to whether their lives have been meaningful. And unfortunately far too often they are still dying alone and in pain, whether because they have no immediate family to advocate for them or the family is in denial.
I told my mom that we would do whatever we can to be with her and care for her at that time, but I wonder if the underlying fear of death is what keeps her here fighting long after her quality of life is worth the battle.
My main question is: Hubby with dementia will say he's glad he's living. When, and if, do we talk about him dying? (We have all of our trusts and financial stuff taken care of)
I don't think he's afraid of dying in itself as he's seen many of his older family die throughout his 93 years.
We are religious. Personally, I have no FEAR of death. Like all, I just wonder what it's like on the other side.
So, do I bring up the subject? Or let it come up by itself? I have reassured him all will be ok and that I love him very much. His kids have also done this.
Thank you.