sbonets POA is a scary concept. Your mother has lost so much control already she may be afraid of losing what little she has left. Try approaching her from the angle of Prefered Intensity of Treatment. You aren't asking for power. You're asking for her wishes. Does she want to be on a ventelator, have a stomach feeding tube, be pain free even if it means her thinking is fuzzy (my Dad did; my Mom didn't). Any hospital or other care facility should have a list. This may open up other end of life issues. Is there anyone she trusts? Outsiders with position often carry more weight that family in this process. Is there a clergy person, another relative, a doctor? Most of them are only too glad to help. You may resent outsiders knowing more than you do. That's human. But don't let that stop you from getting your paperwork in order. She will die before you do. The position you have taken is that it is better to know and have a plan than to have to operate in the dark. You're right! Stick with it.
The Schizophrenia complicates matters. She may feel that by doing nothing she is insuring that all her assets will go to her son. Not true. Best choice could be to approach it from the point of her son's care. Once she understands that she is helping him, she may be more willing to make plans. Another point of difficulty may be her desire to keep her financial condition from others. She could actually have a problem she's ashamed for people to know aboutl. Or she may be afraid that making arrangements will hasten her end. Or she may just be secretive and think it's nobody's business. One way my parents solved this was to go to an out of area attorney. He was a specialist but he did not handle accounts for anyone else they knew. And the wording in their documents meant that no one else could view them until they were both dead. Angie's List should be able to give you some names of ethical people in your area who specialize in elder law.
How can I get a POA without my mother's consent. I tried 2 years ago and she will not sign it. It makes it hard to get information from her doctors or to make living arrangements with her landlord (City Housing) unless I have one. She is currently in the hospital now and the Dr said he would provide me with two letters (one from him the other from a pshyciatrist)since she is in the beginning stages of Alzihemers and dementia. The other issue is I live in NY and she lives in Indiana. what are the appropriate steps. Please advise!!!
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How do you convince a sick elder that they need to get their legal affairs in order?
POA is a scary concept. Your mother has lost so much control already she may be afraid of losing what little she has left.
Try approaching her from the angle of Prefered Intensity of Treatment. You aren't asking for power. You're asking for her wishes. Does she want to be on a ventelator, have a stomach feeding tube, be pain free even if it means her thinking is fuzzy (my Dad did; my Mom didn't). Any hospital or other care facility should have a list. This may open up other end of life issues. Is there anyone she trusts? Outsiders with position often carry more weight that family in this process. Is there a clergy person, another relative, a doctor? Most of them are only too glad to help. You may resent outsiders knowing more than you do. That's human. But don't let that stop you from getting your paperwork in order. She will die before you do. The position you have taken is that it is better to know and have a plan than to have to operate in the dark. You're right! Stick with it.
Another point of difficulty may be her desire to keep her financial condition from others. She could actually have a problem she's ashamed for people to know aboutl. Or she may be afraid that making arrangements will hasten her end. Or she may just be secretive and think it's nobody's business.
One way my parents solved this was to go to an out of area attorney. He was a specialist but he did not handle accounts for anyone else they knew. And the wording in their documents meant that no one else could view them until they were both dead. Angie's List should be able to give you some names of ethical people in your area who specialize in elder law.