Why is my 77 year old husband, a vet who served in the VietNam war, NOT considered for ANY benefits now that he has Alzheimer's Dementia? What would qualify him? I need help!!!

Justlost63 update my husband is still in VA mental ward. They tried to convince me to get him but all the same time say I can not care for him cause he will not take medication or stay out of the streets I can’t control him he get very violent. Have been turned down for va pension assistant say we made to much money last year. I had quit my job to take care of him lost all my medical insurance I have none. Just started receiving Social Security. But can’t make any needed repairs no money VA will not help cause he has to sign paper work and I don’t know who going to stay in home to assist him They have said no caregiver will stay with him I just lost and trying to cope

I am a Korean War veteran. I take care (with paid help) of my wife who has Alzheimer's. She is still at home but it is getting more difficult. Are there any VA benefits for this situation?

My husband was in WWII between 1941 and 1945. He worked stateside and never saw combat. When he got dementia, I started looking for help from the VA only to be denied any kind of help because we didn't pass the means test. Short after I had to place him in a memory care home, I discovered online that the VA has a benefit called Catastrophically Disabled and any veteran who qualifies is moved from Priority 8 to Priority 4 where he is entitled to noninstitutionalized care, no copays for inpatient, outpatient or medication and partial copayment for nursing or memory care homes. The veteran qualifies if he needs help with three or more activities of daily living and/or has a score of 10 or less on the Folstein Mini-Mental State Examination. His condition must be certified by a VA physician. This is well-kept secret apparently because even the VA office and his VA doctor didn't tell me about it. Do an Internet search for it specifically and you'll find the information you need. I found out too late to get help, but maybe others can benefit from my loss.

It sounds too easy but when you get into the program you are then loaded with individual attitudes as to what is allowed and what you expect. With Alzheimer's so prevelant the VA has failed to address this need properly and should have established a central management to address this issue.

My husband is 40% service connected VN Vet diagnosed with Alz. What will our cost for long term care be through the VA?

I am trying to help my uncle who is a Korean War not disabled veteran. He is 84 years old and is widowed, no dependents. He is dialyzed 3 times per week and appears to have dementia (being verified as we speak). He lives alone and until this week was driving himself to dialysis and his sister's house for dinner daily however driving home he got lost and we could not find him for 12 hours. We finally found him via Silver Alert, 3.5 hours away from home. We need get him someplace safe that will take care of him and make sure he get's the medial attention he needs. He only has Social Security and a small New York state employees pension. I want to see if we can get an VA help, but I do not know where to begin. Please help me.

i agree completely i'm having such a hard time getting help for my grandmother who's a surviving spouse for my grandfather and its a complete nightmare since he never saw war time the V.A. isn't doing much to help. shes been turned down for aid and attendance already and i'm not sure if shes entitled to anything at all since he never went to war. but i feel my grandfather should get just what every wartime vet receives for their surviving family members as he still devoted time and what he could to the country non-wartime vet. its completely unfair and this policy needs to be amended for sure.

my friend is a retired u.s air force pilot during viet nam war.his wife is in late stages of dementia.is there anywhere he can call to get her ttreatment

My Father is a WWII Vet. He was shot in the leg. My Father is 97 and I have been caring for him for 9 years. He is in the last stages of Dementia. It has taken almost 2 years to just get 16 hours worth of help a week. The caretakers have no training and are almost useless. Thank Goodness I'm here for him or he'd be dead. I was told he would only qualify for their nursing home (which I wouldn't put my dog in) in his last two weeks of life. I've been told that they don't have the money, call your congressman, etc etc. I ending up calling Washington DC and complained and finally got someone without an hour of training. The last straw was The nurse from the VA called to check on my Dad. The VA nurses come out every 3 months. When they called I mentioned that he had a bladder infection due to lack of drinking water. I try my best but he doesn’t want to drink and I can’t force him but encourage him every half hour and he’ll take a sip. I have Hospice care from a private facility Faith and Hope. I called to say that my Father was complaining it hurt to Urinate. Within 2 hours Faith and Hope hospice delivered anti- biotics. When I told the VA Nurses that they said we wouldn’t have given him anti-biotics. I said why? They said we would have just given him pain killer. Are they kidding? Isn’t that murder? I wasn’t asking for him to be put on life support or a feeding tube or any extensive means just something to keep him comfortable. Since Obama has been in Office I have noticed the quality of care at the VA has gone from bad to worse.

i am so upset because you are not considered a vet unless you fought in a war, well, the ones that signed up and put their time in with war or not, should be also considered a vet, they served their country also am i not right?? i think this is so unfair, anyone that signed up should be considered a vet?? war or no war??

I found out we would have to sell everything (cars/motorcycle and business truck) to receive any financial help from Medicaid, Just because we are married.
I try to keep my wife active (full blown Dementia), she still likes riding on the back of our motorcycle and we belong to a car club which she can be around other women her age having fun. This is why I hear of folks divorcing at a later point in life to save they're livelihood without giving up everything. The funny thing about all of this is, is that Medicaid doesn't care about what you acquire after assistance starts; you just can't have them when assistance starts.
It didn't make sence to me to work outside the home and pay for someone to be at home with my wife, i'd be paying peter to pay paul. I to have a military retirement with social security coming in.

My husband has a severe Dementia that needed a long term care / assested living facility. Got all the papers needed at the VA for some help / benefits that might get only to find out that he WON'T get anything from the VA because his Military retirement and the Social Security pension is enough to take care of him in the assested living place... And if the wife is working no more help that the VA can extend to either the wife or the Vet ? Pls help confused.

I have a World War II Veteran (father in law) that has dementia. His wife just suffered a stroke and she can not recover for worry of him. We currently have him in the VA hospital to find out that they can not keep him long term. Financially, they can not afford a nursing home. They have tried in home care and the dementia patient is sometimes violent, so it did not work. What other options are out there.

Here's something I've looked for and can not find. I'm a Retired Veteran that takes full time care of my wife (age 68) that has dementia. Is there any financial assistance that I can apply for and from whom?? I have a one man business, but you can guess how much time I've been giving it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

I was doing research for friends who have both parents, Vet and his spouse with mental and medical issues. Yes they qualify for these benefits, VA requirerments, mentally and financially. Thier priority is to take care of the parents. I believe if they could see the big picture VA benefits could relieve some of the cost and keep the parents home an added benefit for children. My thoughts of using these benefits is not to preserve the home for the childrens benefit (it just works out that way) it's to use the resourses in the best way possible. For example if you earned frequent flyer miles to go on a trip to Hawaii. This would benefit in many ways, saves time money, wear and tear on auto, and if you drive, there is a dead end when you get to Cali. So you can't reach your final destination then you have to fly anyway. VA benefits are like free miles you may have to work at them initially but you may preserve or lengthen assets you need for the future. If Mom and Dad go downhill and cannot reside at assisted living or need medical attention and ordered to be in NH, the cost is almost double and when funds are diminished you will need government assitance anyway. Then you've got a mess on your hands because this could take months of paperwork and still could get rejected anyway. A NH won't take you unless they are getting paid. Then you have an obsticle.. where does Mom and Dad go from there. I went through this type of scenerio with my Mom. Couldn't come home but didn't have the funds to pay NH and wasn't qualified for Medicaid yet either. I have seen it happen to others as well. I worked it out somehow, but it was a tuffy and poor Mom was cared for but not in a pleasant place during that time in limbo. She did not have VA benefits but I wish she did.
Mitzipinki ....I don't understand why you and the lawyer dissagree. Why would you chose not to keep assets you will most likely lose otherwise(a benefit set up for such a purpose to help Vet families).

Good point arose4yu,

I work on a blog about eldercare and in-home care. VA benefits are some of the best out there from a long-term or in-home care perspective. But as you said, it is important to ask about Aid and Attendance benefits.


Best,
Bill

also ask the VA about Aid and Attendance which is an "enhancement" to their existing benefits

I am currently going through this with an elder attorney. For mine there are financial requirements. Through a VA analysis my attorney had done, there was a value set that my parents are allowed to have.

This next part is where you need to pay REALLY close attention. If I hadn't caught this it could be a whole different ball game. When the attorney was talking, I was under the impression (through his fast talk) that medicaid was part of setting up the VA benefits.

Through a miracle of God's covering (too long to tell here), I discovered Medicaid was a whole separate issue where the government helps to pay for nursing care IF your parents need it.

Here's the problem I had. The attorney was "assuming" I wanted the government to provide for my parents. That's an individual's choice. Mine wanted to preserve my inheritance and let the government take care of mom and dad (yes, his own words).

I proceeded to explain to the attorney that I was private paying now and due to correctly placed investments, their assisted living would continue to be paid for and protected.

We disagreed on issues, but I say all that to say this.... ask a LOT of questions. Know in your mind what and how you want to take care of your parents. Make sure you separate issues, ask yourself the tough questions.

I'm not saying that my choice is right for anyone, but based on my beliefs of our government and country and God as the fore runner of it all... my choice was quite clear.

Just be careful... and be prepared for paperwork galore when it comes to VA benefits, but its definitely worth it and your loved one EARNED IT!

God bless!