We are lucky here we can call 911 when someone falls my husband was just too heavy for me to pick up and they sent two police officers or vol. firemen I must have called them more than 50 times the last few years of his life. You really really have it hard and you keep your sense of humor.

oh gosh i think its time that we all caregivers go to the beach and have us a margiritta and chill out !!! watch the dolpine jump in and out of the ocean , ohhh dont that sound good and relaxing whew lord i cant wait !! that is where im going after this peace settles in ....
my dad fell out of the toliet tryin to wipe , after tellin him many times no . i step out to give him priavcy so he could poop . oops wrong !!! busted his eye brows open blood drinpiin everyw here . my husband had to pull him up and have him sit on toliet , now his back hurts . .. all hell broke lose today and its horrible !!!
i went to dr today to get my back checked out , doc said girl u have strained your back . loaded me up with [ainpills , musclel relaxer and whateles ??? now i am in lala land i can walk but can still feel the pain . umm good ole meds i say ....
i think the beach sounds even better !

One thing that I find common in all caregivers is that we take on TOO MUCH!! And we do not use that one-syllable word very often: NO.

I just spent the entire afternoon (missing a lot of my own work) to help my mom with a long list of things she needed. At the end of the day, just as I am ready to leave, she starts the "I need this...do that..." routine. I finally said, "this is enough for one day...I am going home..." And now I am sitting here in my office trying to make up all the work I missed.

I think part of it is desperation on the part of the elderly parent. They are aware that they can no longer take care of themselves and that makes them scared and needy. So they glom on to the person in the family who will take on the responsiblity and then work them to death.

I have a very difficult time deciding what is my daughterly duty and what is being taken advantage of.

Racel D.: why are you taking on the care of your grandson? Can you start reducing the number of days that you care for him and ask your daughter to start finding other alternatives and set a time limit? Look at it this way, if you were not around, she would figure it out....(and you may not be around if you pile more stress on yourself.) Can she trade caretaking duties with you on weekends and give you respite? Sometimes we forget to ask our children to pitch in...you may be surprised. take care

Sometimes you need to seperate yourself from the one you are taking care of if you are able to leave the house for a while see if you can voleenter someplace even if it is a short time and can not be every week-I did and now that he has died I have a good support system see if you can do something you enjoy like reading or crafts or cooking or enjoying a glass of wine at night when you might be free for a spell or walk around the house or call a friend or email friends so you can reply when you have the time that usually works better then getting phone calls whenyou are harried I found put my thought down on this site during the bad times helped me feel so much better and you can get involved with others who have problems and maybe give them some comfort which in turn will make you feel better.

today about noon . my back went out the shooting pain at the lower middle back and all around my hip and down to my legs .
thank god for my daughter she took off work to come home and took my place so i could go lay down . till my husband came ho me now he took over . poor guy he worked all day long and wants to go to bed .
i wish so much that my back wasnt out of whack . i am scared and worried ,,,

Oh, Lord. This is me. And I don't know what to do anymore or how to handle anything anymore. There is no more strength, no more energy in me. I cry at the drop of a hat and feel so overwhelmed that the least little additional responsibility makes me feel as though I've come to the end of the line. All your signs of caregiver stress are mine.

Depression, withdrawal. I don't see or talk to any of my friends anymore. I don't have the time and I don't have the strength to smile or make small talk. I feel the only thing I have to talk about is caring for my 87 year old mother and my 94 year old Alzheimer ridden father who both live with me or about taking care of my 4 year old grandson, whom I have about 5 days a week.

Anxiety. My heart feels like it's palpatating all the time and I don't know how I can get things done anymore. Loss of concetration. I can't think straight. Who am I anymore? Where did I go? Change in eating habits. Not hungry at all, but at times eating ravenously, praying that overeating, an old habit, will provide some relief, some comfort. Only, it doesn't.

Exhaustion. I dread getting out of bed in the morning and walk around all day feeling dead tired, dead period. I read somewhere here that 30% of caretakers die before the people they care for. Will that be me? I'm going to be 64 years old and I wonder if I even want to make it.

I love my parents. I want to take care of them with an open loving heart, but there is so much to do. I never have a minute for myself and even if I did, I would be thinking about what I'm supposed to be doing for them instead.

I desperately need help and I need to feel connected to my life, to others again.

I have gained 10lbs since I started taking care of my Gramma. My knees hurt, my back hurts. I don't sleep well. I don't mind not sleeping but the weight gain is bothering me.